Annie
Diamond Member
- Nov 22, 2003
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DKSuddeth said:
Coming at this from the other side, seems to me that we are discussing 'date rape' or 'marital rape', where one partner doesn't wish to participate in some act the other does and may be 'forced to.' Seems where Kobe fits in the scheme of things. If I am getting this right, I have not really been following this, she came into his hotel room, after giving him a tour of the hotel. They start kissing, etc. Now it seems she agreed to certain acts, but balked at other.
Since I would have a very difficult time finding a male smaller than myself, (I'm not into 'little people'), I figure I could only be a 'victim.' However, in the two scenarios, I would not choose to be in a situation with someone that I hadn't had plenty of time to know what I wanted/didn't want to do. Obviously if NOT, I wouldn't put myself in the position of 'being alone' with that person. I see an argument coming with the case of saying that one will get in a car with someone that one 'knows' but not well. If a rape came from that, well it's in the 'normal' definition of rape. I am speaking of willfully entering someone's apartment, home, hotel room, etc.-or jumping in the backseat and voluntarily participating in some act(s). I doubt that you'll find someone more 'women's rights' than myself, but with rights come responsibility.
No doubt there has to be common sense applied, if we are talking about a 16, 17 year old girl, with a 23 year old or older 'celebrity', there are maturity issues. Not sure how this should be dealt with. However, an adult woman, that meets a guy at the mall or in a bar, goes to his place, says 'yes' to a sex act, then goes along to another, but says, "No" at the last moment, well dang, I just don't know what to say.
Now mind you, this has nothing to do with how one is dressed, talks, teases, etc. Women do not have rape 'coming.' In the Kobe case, we are not talking about a bunch of idiots and a pool table. He seems like a jerk, but she seems to have been mesmerized by something; height? celebrity? race? money? At the same time it seems to me that women have a responsibility not to put themselves in locales alone with men they do not know and men, same thing, to keep you out of trouble. Really, what kind of adults just meet someone and say, "Let's get it on?"
Date rape/marital rape are extremely different than what was traditionally refered to as rape. Someone breaks into your home or grabs you off the sidewalk, or is hiding in the back of your car. These perps should be locked up forever. This is the type of crime that is violent and power driven. Also the type of criminal that has little chance of rehab, they hate women.
I think many of the 'date rape' cases are confused people, getting into situations that they never should have allowed themselves to enter. I think date rape can happen to the hapless high school, college person that thinks, 'yes' then changes mind. Marital rape is by definition an abusive situation, which is unlikely to be reported unless the woman has decided this is the best way to get 'him' locked up.
Unless I'm way off in the Kobe scenario, he's a snarky person, that only an idiot would want anything to do with. The 'woman' ignored the obnoxious, mesmerized by some aspect of his persona, she went too far, her mistake. Harsh I know.
