Judge orders P Diddy to wear dog cone after allegations of dry humping the Kardashian women at a Met Gala event

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A judge has ordered the rapper P Diddy to wear a dog cone after the rapper was allegedly caught "dry humping" one of the Kardashian sisters in the bathroom of a Met Gala event.

"I went to the Met Gala. I went two years, Maureen..." said journalist Megyn Kelly during an appearance on "The Nerve with Maureen Callahan."

She continued, "The thing I remember is P. Diddy, in the restroom, cozying up in the women's restroom, dry humping a Kardashian sister. He's a depraved, disgusting individual, about whom I wish to hear nothing, nothing, after this trial is done," Kelly added.

No word on whether the court order will also include a shock collar, however.

 

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This just in.

It appears that the LGBTQIAS+ community has added P. Diddy to the end of their list. They will now be referred to as the (LGBTQIAS+P. Diddy) group. "We were not sure really what to call him", one spokesperson commented. "I mean, we usually can narrow sexual preference down to specific groups, like men, or women, or men and women, etc., but to include everything?" I mean, P. Diddy will hit everything that moves or does not move really, no matter how young or old, and whether he has consent from them or not. I mean, what term do you give that? So, we just decided to add his entire name to the end of the list and call it a day."

No word yet on whether there will be P. Diddy pride parades. More to follow.