Votto
Diamond Member
- Oct 31, 2012
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Joe Biden today addressed the nation as he also said goodbye to his staff in the Oval Office. But as he began to shake the hands of his staff to say farewell to them all, he paused as one of his staffers was holding an infant. "Is that your baby?" asked the President? "May I say goodbye to her as well?" Joe began to sniff the little girls hair at first, but before the staffer could respond or stop the President, Joe got a crazed look in his eye and began munching on the infant's leg and later the infant's arms as he finished with the torso and entire head. "Somebody help me save this baby!" cried White House security. Despite there being 5-armed security agents in the room, security was unable to pry the President away from the infant as he ended up eating the entire infant whole. "I never thought that old man had that much strength" replied one of the security guards. It was literally like trying to pry a pit bull off of somebody." "How did he consume that entire infant, and how did he do it that fast?" asked another security guard. "Who needs Planned Parenthood with Joe around?"
White House spokesperson Jeanne Pierre, who is still historically gay despite it being her last day, was unavailable for comment as she was seen running out of the White House for the final time as she sped away in her car.
Charges were not brought against the President, however, as it was later learned that Joe Biden had pardoned himself hours prior to the event.
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