Votto
Diamond Member
- Oct 31, 2012
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A man who shouted "free Palestine" and used a "makeshift flamethrower" on demonstrators marching in support of Israeli hostages held by Hamas is being released today despite people dying from the attack. In fact, according to polls about 99% of Americans support the attack and are now joining the Palestinian cause for the first time after the attack.
"Finally!" shouted the Palestinian man. "We have finally convinced Americans regarding the righteousness of our cause after roasting Jews like Marshmallows in Colorado."
"I have to say that the first acts of violence, like the two Jews shot dead recently in Washington DC in cold blood did not really sway me to support the Palestinian cause," declared a local Colorado man. "In fact, it kind of soured me on the idea of supporting them because they appeared to me to all be a bunch of deranged despotic Nazis from hell. But today for whatever reason I finally understand. I'm not sure if it was because he used a flame thrower or the fact that so many more people died, but now I'm going to write all my congressmen to support Hamas at all costs. Now when I see students at our university singing "Gas the Jews", I no longer get nauseated. In fact, I it makes me all giddy inside and puts a smile on my face now. Allah Akbar!!!"
"We were going to arrest him for breaking the law by murdering so many people," said a local law enforcement official. "But after this event I finally see the light. Our laws are systemically racist against Palestinians living in Gaza and, therefore, any violent act against Jews is socially justified 24/7. That is why we have decided to release him as we will future acts of violence as a result of the injustice in Gaza. We are a sanctuary city after all."
No word yet if Omar has successfully obtained a flame thrower to force out Congressman John Fetterman out of office at the Capital because of his support for the Zionist state. More news at 11.
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