Ringo
Platinum Member
In the mid-2010s, when Ursula von der Leyen was German Defense Minister, the Bundeswehr received a new Puma BMP. After inspecting the vehicle, the ministeress demanded that it be adapted for pregnant women. In particular, the air inside the BMP must be purified to prevent damage to amniotic fluid by gunpowder gases, and there must be no dust in the landing compartment, for which the rear hatch must always be kept closed. And while air purification is a purely technical thing, a permanently closed rear hatch can be deadly in combat situations. But if inclusion clashes with objective reality, the latter doesn't stand a chance.
Having adapted the Cougar to the needs of pregnant soldiers, Ursula did not forget about the climate, demanding to increase the carbon neutrality of the vehicle. To that end traditional fire extinguishers containing CO2 were replaced by new-fangled models with biodegradable powder. In 2022, after Ursula left to run the European Commission, these extinguishers were tested. It turned out that the powder clogs up in every conceivable crevice, as well as in the engine, after which the BMP becomes a useless pile of iron. The only way to clean the Pumas from the biodegradable crap was to completely disassemble them and wipe each part with a rag. This exciting endeavor cost the Bundeswehr 2.6 billion (!) euros.
The absurd concern for non-existent pregnant female soldiers and the carbon footprint of the war machine looked especially insane against the backdrop of the German army's supply problems.
During a NATO Rapid Reaction Force exercise in Norway in September 2014, soldiers from the Bundeswehr's 371st Motorized Infantry Battalion used brooms instead of machine guns. No joke: the personnel were equipped with 69% of the required number of MG3 machine guns and 59% of P8 pistols, so they had to use brooms instead of machine guns. - 59%, so they had to get creative. In addition, they had less than a quarter of the night vision devices at their disposal, and they used ordinary civilian vans for troop transportation, due to the shortage of BMPs. The german special forces left the exercise altogether because they didn't have a helicopter
The parliament, having conducted all kinds of investigations and audits, found the defense ministry's finances in complete chaos.
With Ursula's arrival, the ministry started spending mad money on external consultants, mostly without any justification or tenders. For example, in 2015, they paid 100 million euros to consultants, but reported only 2.2 million. In 2016, Ursula's team
reported 2.9 million but spent 150. “Unaccounted for” money went to unclear who, for what, and the apparent illegality of this spending was talked about quite openly. By all rights, after the publication of the audit results, the police should have immediately come to Ursula's house with handcuffs, but fate ordered otherwise.
The result of Ursula's “management” was the collapse of the army entrusted to her. None of the 6 submarines were able to go to sea, and none of the 14 A-400M transport planes could take off. The Bundeswehr had only nine serviceable Leopard 2 tanks and three Marder BMPs at its disposal. Of the Eurofighter and Tornado combat airplanes, as well as CH-53 transport helicopters, only one in three was serviceable (and the Bundeswehr had a few of each type - about a hundred). The situation with other weapons was similar.
The confusion of Angela Merkel, who was 12 hours late for the 2019 G20 meeting because they couldn't find a serviceable plane for her, is an aria from the same opera
All of this has had exactly no consequences for Ursula. This beautiful woman makes not the slightest effort to cipher and apparently she really doesn't need to. “To friends - everything, to enemies - the law”, that's roughly what ‘European values’ look like in Ursula's performance.
Every nation deserves its rulers - sometimes I think that the main mission of the EU is to prove the unconditional rightness of this saying.
Having adapted the Cougar to the needs of pregnant soldiers, Ursula did not forget about the climate, demanding to increase the carbon neutrality of the vehicle. To that end traditional fire extinguishers containing CO2 were replaced by new-fangled models with biodegradable powder. In 2022, after Ursula left to run the European Commission, these extinguishers were tested. It turned out that the powder clogs up in every conceivable crevice, as well as in the engine, after which the BMP becomes a useless pile of iron. The only way to clean the Pumas from the biodegradable crap was to completely disassemble them and wipe each part with a rag. This exciting endeavor cost the Bundeswehr 2.6 billion (!) euros.
The absurd concern for non-existent pregnant female soldiers and the carbon footprint of the war machine looked especially insane against the backdrop of the German army's supply problems.
During a NATO Rapid Reaction Force exercise in Norway in September 2014, soldiers from the Bundeswehr's 371st Motorized Infantry Battalion used brooms instead of machine guns. No joke: the personnel were equipped with 69% of the required number of MG3 machine guns and 59% of P8 pistols, so they had to use brooms instead of machine guns. - 59%, so they had to get creative. In addition, they had less than a quarter of the night vision devices at their disposal, and they used ordinary civilian vans for troop transportation, due to the shortage of BMPs. The german special forces left the exercise altogether because they didn't have a helicopter
The parliament, having conducted all kinds of investigations and audits, found the defense ministry's finances in complete chaos.
With Ursula's arrival, the ministry started spending mad money on external consultants, mostly without any justification or tenders. For example, in 2015, they paid 100 million euros to consultants, but reported only 2.2 million. In 2016, Ursula's team
reported 2.9 million but spent 150. “Unaccounted for” money went to unclear who, for what, and the apparent illegality of this spending was talked about quite openly. By all rights, after the publication of the audit results, the police should have immediately come to Ursula's house with handcuffs, but fate ordered otherwise.
The result of Ursula's “management” was the collapse of the army entrusted to her. None of the 6 submarines were able to go to sea, and none of the 14 A-400M transport planes could take off. The Bundeswehr had only nine serviceable Leopard 2 tanks and three Marder BMPs at its disposal. Of the Eurofighter and Tornado combat airplanes, as well as CH-53 transport helicopters, only one in three was serviceable (and the Bundeswehr had a few of each type - about a hundred). The situation with other weapons was similar.
The confusion of Angela Merkel, who was 12 hours late for the 2019 G20 meeting because they couldn't find a serviceable plane for her, is an aria from the same opera
All of this has had exactly no consequences for Ursula. This beautiful woman makes not the slightest effort to cipher and apparently she really doesn't need to. “To friends - everything, to enemies - the law”, that's roughly what ‘European values’ look like in Ursula's performance.
Every nation deserves its rulers - sometimes I think that the main mission of the EU is to prove the unconditional rightness of this saying.
