Fantastic Four

[Sgt_Gath]

Fantastic Four

Holy Hell...This was bad. Really bad.



I'd read some negative reviews beforehand, but decided to go ahead and brave a watch anyway. While I wouldn't call the film "unwatchable" per se, describing it as being a misguided, convoluted, insulting, and ultimately pointless mess would be something of an understatement.

Among the film's the more obvious problems....

1. The whole "edgy Millennial superheroes" angle is awkward and unnecessary. Any serious exploration of the concept is dropped almost as soon as it is brought up for that exact reason. Just about the only thing it contributes to the film (besides a weird and rather laughable introduction to Reed Richards - a.k.a. Mr Fantastic - as a 10 or 12 year old boy genius capable of building a prototype matter teleporter in his garage out of spare parts) is a heavy handed speech about the power of the new generation to "save the world" given by a token mentor figure early in the film that comes completely out of nowhere. It also provides a convenient - though largely only implied - excuse for Doom's brooding nihilism and violent anti-authoritarian tendencies.

2. This film's script desperately needed to be streamlined, if not rewritten entirely. There are elements that work here and there, but the plot spends way, waaaay too much time and energy on some subjects, while skimping on others. This results in character motivations - and even personalities, to a certain extent - which tend to be vaguely defined at best, and outright nonsensical at worst. Awkwardly inserted conflicts which are left largely unresolved, in addition to numerous time wasting plot cul de sacs (along with accompanying plot holes), abound throughout the film as well.

3. As a result of #2, the climax feels so rushed, awkward, and underdeveloped as to be simply cringeworthy. It literally lasts all of about 15 to 20 minutes, and arrives almost out of no where on the heels of more than an hour of tediously meandering origin story. "Dr Doom" is really given no time whatsoever to be built up as a menacing villain. He just pops up after being absent for more than 45 minutes (mind you, his last appearance before this point having him be nothing more than a slightly dickish twenty-something scientist, rather than a monster, with no transition in between), kills a few people with his new powers, fights the heroes for a bit, and is dispatched. That's it.

4. Oh! And the special effects weren't even good. The "Invisible Woman's" force fields in particular just looked like complete ass.

Overall: 3.5 out of 10

I could have forgiven a lot of the problems in this film if it were at least building up to a worthwhile villain or climax. However, this cinematic abortion couldn't even deliver that much.

 

[Rotagilla]

I skimmed over your review..I was wondering how they reconciled that the negro and the white chick were supposed to be brother and sister? If I remember right...it's been a long time since I read any comic books...but they were originally brother/sister...
On another note..there's going to be a new james bond soon...and he's going to be a negro this time

the social marxists are in hyperdrive....

 

[Sgt_Gath]

I skimmed over your review..I was wondering how they reconciled that the negro and the white chick were supposed to be brother and sister? If I remember right...it's been a long time since I read any comic books...but they were originally brother/sister...
On another note..there's going to be a new james bond soon...and he's going to be a negro this time

the social marxists are in hyperdrive....

The blonde girl's adopted, from Slovakia (or Bosnia, I forget which), apparently.

 

[Rotagilla]

LMAO...negroes adopted a blonde white girl.....Like THAT'S plausible...lucky she survived to adulthood...
the social marxists are hard at work cramming that sheit down people's throats....

 

[JoeB131]

LMAO...negroes adopted a blonde white girl.....Like THAT'S plausible...lucky she survived to adulthood...
the social marxists are hard at work cramming that sheit down people's throats....

why do you feel the need to inject race into this conversation.

Anyway, I've heard this movie was really bad because apparenlty the director had one vision and the studio - Fox - had another. There were a lot of reshoots, involving the lead actress to get a wig to make her look consistant with the earlier footage.

 

[Rotagilla]

LMAO...negroes adopted a blonde white girl.....Like THAT'S plausible...lucky she survived to adulthood...
the social marxists are hard at work cramming that sheit down people's throats....

why do you feel the need to inject race into this conversation.

Anyway, I've heard this movie was really bad because apparenlty the director had one vision and the studio - Fox - had another. There were a lot of reshoots, involving the lead actress to get a wig to make her look consistant with the earlier footage.

why did the producers of the movie have change the characters to inject race into the story..and in such an implausible way...negroes adopted a white girl...LMAO..

I wonder who the producer was...I wonder what his last name is...

 

[Harry Dresden]

this is what happens when Marvel does not have control and the people that do have control have to make it politically correct.....

 

[Unkotare]

I skimmed over your review..I was wondering how they reconciled that the negro and the white chick were supposed to be brother and sister? If I remember right...it's been a long time since I read any comic books...but they were originally brother/sister...
On another note..there's going to be a new james bond soon...and he's going to be a negro this time
....

Do you get a tingle every time you type the word "negro," asswipe? Grow the fuck up already.

 

[Rotagilla]

one of the guys who wrote the screenplay's last name is "Kinberg"
interesting..a member of the tribe pushing his anti white ideology...

 

[aaronleland]

Without Rotagilla's blatant racism... making the Human Torch black was retarded.

 

[JoeB131]

[

why did the producers of the movie have change the characters to inject race into the story..and in such an implausible way...negroes adopted a white girl...LMAO..

I wonder who the producer was...I wonder what his last name is...

Why would that be implausible? I mean, I know it would make you nuts.

Heck, htey re-imagined Nick Fury as a black guy, and that was fine.

this is what happens when Marvel does not have control and the people that do have control have to make it politically correct.....

I agree Fox didn't know what they were doing with this movie, but it had little to do with Political Correctness.

I think overall, you have people involved who don't really know the source material, which is why they end up making crap.

I think the other problem is the Source Material itself isn't all that. the FF just aren't that compelling. They hold a certain affection with Comic Nerds as they were the beginning of the Marvel Universe. (Where Reed Richards original plan was to beat the Russians into space.)

They've made three attempts with this franchise, the Roger Corman 1990 movie, the Jessica Alba disaster, and now this. All of them kind of suck.

 

[JoeB131]

Without Rotagilla's blatant racism... making the Human Torch black was retarded.

I think on a list of this films sins, that is still pretty far down on the list.

 

[Rotagilla]

Heck, htey re-imagined Nick Fury as a black guy, and that was fine.

I disagree.
Who said so?.... and what is the purpose of displacing whites in those roles? "Diversity"?.."empowerment"? "inclusiveness"?
more social marxism.

Without Rotagilla's blatant racism... making the Human Torch black was retarded.

I think on a list of this films sins, that is still pretty far down on the list.

so if I said it was wrong to replace a white actor in a role that was historically a white person, I'm a "racist"...but if you say it was wrong it's because you have such refined tastes and are a film connoisseur..

How about a movie about the u.s. where all major roles are played by negroes? washington, jefferson, adams, hancock, etc..That would be believeable, right?
comical.

 

[JoeB131]

I disagree.
Who said so?.... and what is the purpose of displacing whites in those roles? "Diversity"?.."empowerment"? "inclusiveness"?
more social marxism.

Mostly, it's more to do with putting asses into seats. And frankly, some people will only put their ass in a seat if the person on the screen is someone they can identify with.

Case in point. the actor playing the Torch in this film has been in a lot of very popular movies. He's a big box office draw and the calculation was that a certain percentage of the audience would come just to see him, even if they didn't give a flip about the Fantastic Four.

so if I said it was wrong to replace a white actor in a role that was historically a white person, I'm a "racist"...but if you say it was wrong it's because you have such refined tastes and are a film connoisseur..

How about a movie about the u.s. where all major roles are played by negroes? washington, jefferson, adams, hancock, etc..That would be believeable, right?
comical.

We aren't talking about a historical character, we are talking about fictional character who can light himself on fire.

 

[Rotagilla]

I disagree.
Who said so?.... and what is the purpose of displacing whites in those roles? "Diversity"?.."empowerment"? "inclusiveness"?
more social marxism.

Mostly, it's more to do with putting asses into seats. And frankly, some people will only put their ass in a seat if the person on the screen is someone they can identify with.

Case in point. the actor playing the Torch in this film has been in a lot of very popular movies. He's a big box office draw and the calculation was that a certain percentage of the audience would come just to see him, even if they didn't give a flip about the Fantastic Four.

so if I said it was wrong to replace a white actor in a role that was historically a white person, I'm a "racist"...but if you say it was wrong it's because you have such refined tastes and are a film connoisseur..

How about a movie about the u.s. where all major roles are played by negroes? washington, jefferson, adams, hancock, etc..That would be believeable, right?
comical.

We aren't talking about a historical character, we are talking about fictional character who can light himself on fire.

re read it.
I didn't say a "historic figure"..I said a role that was 'historically" played by a white actor.

 

[Harry Dresden]

I disagree.
Who said so?.... and what is the purpose of displacing whites in those roles? "Diversity"?.."empowerment"? "inclusiveness"?
more social marxism.

Mostly, it's more to do with putting asses into seats. And frankly, some people will only put their ass in a seat if the person on the screen is someone they can identify with.

Case in point. the actor playing the Torch in this film has been in a lot of very popular movies. He's a big box office draw and the calculation was that a certain percentage of the audience would come just to see him, even if they didn't give a flip about the Fantastic Four.

so if I said it was wrong to replace a white actor in a role that was historically a white person, I'm a "racist"...but if you say it was wrong it's because you have such refined tastes and are a film connoisseur..

How about a movie about the u.s. where all major roles are played by negroes? washington, jefferson, adams, hancock, etc..That would be believeable, right?
comical.

We aren't talking about a historical character, we are talking about fictional character who can light himself on fire.

and who had been a blonde white guy for 50 years....there are now plenty of black super heroes Joe,there was no need to make the torch black,just to try and appease a segment of the population,which is what they were trying to do....on this new Supergirl TV show Jimmy Olson is now a black guy,whats the point if not trying to be PC?.......

 

[JoeB131]

re read it.
I didn't say a "historic figure"..I said a role that was 'historically" played by a white actor.

Only one other actor has played this character (the Human Torch) in an officially released movie. So it's not like "historical" means "that other guy".

Now for Nick Fury... the only other actor to play him was David Hasselhoff. Somehow I think Samuel L. Jackson is a much cooler Nick Fury than the Hoff!

 

[Iceweasel]

Hollywood spends its' money on special effects, not writers. A sad commentary of today's culture.

 

[JoeB131]

and who had been a blonde white guy for 50 years....there are now plenty of black super heroes Joe,there was no need to make the torch black,just to try and appease a segment of the population,which is what they were trying to do....on this new Supergirl TV show Jimmy Olson is now a black guy,whats the point if not trying to be PC?.......

by that logic, we should write the characters EXACTLY the same way they were written 50 years ago, then?

I don't think they were trying to appease anyone except maybe the terms ofa contract they had with this actor to put him in so many major movies.

 

[JoeB131]

Hollywood spends its' money on special effects, not writers. A sad commentary of today's culture.

Did you hear the one about the Polish Starlet? She was so dumb she slept with the writer!