- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a heist parable about the immaculate and civilization celebrated Faberge egg, a symbol of real dreams. This little fable was inspired by the movie The Thomas Crown Affair. Thanks for reading (and enjoy!),
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This is the story of how I stole a $20 million Faberge Egg from the royal parliament in Romania. My name's Isaac Satan. I'm a professional thief. I was born in Algeria, studied at Dartmouth College (USA), and traveled around Asia and Europe before training myself mentally to become a world traveling thief. I've robbed over 15 banks and various bearer-bonds vehicles and diamond vaults, and this Faberge egg heist will be my crowning-glory. One might ask what's the big deal with Faberge eggs, and I try to tell them it brings out the whites in my teeth, the real disposition of my thief persona! Can't you tell from my selfie?
The Royal Parliament palace in Romania is quite a building. There're all kinds of security measures and guards just about everywhere, and they protect the collection of the million-dollar Faberge eggs, including the $20 million blue-and-diamond one I intend to steal on Halloween 2022. This blue Faberge is a real treasure, a real gem, and it's hidden somewhere in a safe in one of the upper-level rooms of the Parliament palace in Romania. I intend to grab it. I mustn't fail, man!
ALI CARTER (Celebrity): "There're over 100 Faberge eggs in the royal parliament building in Romania. Over 100! Each is exquisite. Many celebrities including myself and Diane Lawson and Leo DiCaprio have visited here just to behold these gems. This is why I'm making this special celebrity tour-guide experience in the Parliament building, so tourists can walk by and see the gems in their full glory and have an American media-star recount why they have real global appeal, so thank you guests for coming today!"
Ali's a real sweet person, a very cool media star. She doesn't know I'm one of the tourists in the group visiting the Parliament in Romania today and perusing the building while beholding the Faberge treasures within today. She shows us around the various rooms until we arrive at the room where the blue-diamond Faberge egg is held, which is the one I intend to steal. I had to present a fake passport to obtain secured entrance into the tour group and be part of Ali's special Faberge celebrity presentation inside the palace walls. Ali was terrific and did her part perfectly!
ALI: "This is one of the immaculate rooms in the palace, and as you can see, it's a real miracle. Behold the lighting and the seating and the dome room and the incredible boasting of Romanian design and architecture, so it's no surprise that some of the Romanov Faberge eggs, some of the most sacred and precious, are held in this building at this period of the new millennium!"
When we got to the room with the blue-diamond Faberge egg, I removed my fake mustache and beard and wig and put on my sunglasses and Coronavirus mask and gloves and pulled out my self-assembling plastic miniature gun hidden inside the sole of my leather boots and took Ali hostage. I told her to instruct the other tourists to exit the building conveniently and expeditiously. I then proceeded to tie her up and gagged her mouth while I worked my magic to procure the Faberge blue-and-diamond egg from the glass box protected by a laser sensor. This was my finest hour!
I brought an amount of baby powder hidden in my little pen flashlight and dashed it all around the glass box to expose the laser-light sensors. I then used my special elongated tweezer assembling tool to grab the egg, with each end of the tweezer tool padded with a rubber and cotton to avoid any prints. I placed the $20 million Faberge egg inside my thick coat lining and zipped up the lining. I left Ali sitting in that room and sneaked out one of the building windows with the egg.
I boarded an Aer Lingus flight to New Zealand with the $20 million. I never looked back. Years later when someone asked me, "Have you heard of the rumor that a $20 million blue-and-diamond Faberge egg was stolen from the Royal Parliament building in Romania?" I replied, "Those kind of Faberge rumors abound these days, since this is really the era of great toy drama!"
According to the papers, the culprit behind the Faberge egg heist was suspected to be a sneaky little masked serial bank robber in Romania, but no one's caught him yet either. I don't know who this rat is, but if he wants to take the wrap for this Faberge crime, I won't get in his thief way, man!
"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies" (Mother Teresa)
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
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This is the story of how I stole a $20 million Faberge Egg from the royal parliament in Romania. My name's Isaac Satan. I'm a professional thief. I was born in Algeria, studied at Dartmouth College (USA), and traveled around Asia and Europe before training myself mentally to become a world traveling thief. I've robbed over 15 banks and various bearer-bonds vehicles and diamond vaults, and this Faberge egg heist will be my crowning-glory. One might ask what's the big deal with Faberge eggs, and I try to tell them it brings out the whites in my teeth, the real disposition of my thief persona! Can't you tell from my selfie?
The Royal Parliament palace in Romania is quite a building. There're all kinds of security measures and guards just about everywhere, and they protect the collection of the million-dollar Faberge eggs, including the $20 million blue-and-diamond one I intend to steal on Halloween 2022. This blue Faberge is a real treasure, a real gem, and it's hidden somewhere in a safe in one of the upper-level rooms of the Parliament palace in Romania. I intend to grab it. I mustn't fail, man!
ALI CARTER (Celebrity): "There're over 100 Faberge eggs in the royal parliament building in Romania. Over 100! Each is exquisite. Many celebrities including myself and Diane Lawson and Leo DiCaprio have visited here just to behold these gems. This is why I'm making this special celebrity tour-guide experience in the Parliament building, so tourists can walk by and see the gems in their full glory and have an American media-star recount why they have real global appeal, so thank you guests for coming today!"
Ali's a real sweet person, a very cool media star. She doesn't know I'm one of the tourists in the group visiting the Parliament in Romania today and perusing the building while beholding the Faberge treasures within today. She shows us around the various rooms until we arrive at the room where the blue-diamond Faberge egg is held, which is the one I intend to steal. I had to present a fake passport to obtain secured entrance into the tour group and be part of Ali's special Faberge celebrity presentation inside the palace walls. Ali was terrific and did her part perfectly!
ALI: "This is one of the immaculate rooms in the palace, and as you can see, it's a real miracle. Behold the lighting and the seating and the dome room and the incredible boasting of Romanian design and architecture, so it's no surprise that some of the Romanov Faberge eggs, some of the most sacred and precious, are held in this building at this period of the new millennium!"
When we got to the room with the blue-diamond Faberge egg, I removed my fake mustache and beard and wig and put on my sunglasses and Coronavirus mask and gloves and pulled out my self-assembling plastic miniature gun hidden inside the sole of my leather boots and took Ali hostage. I told her to instruct the other tourists to exit the building conveniently and expeditiously. I then proceeded to tie her up and gagged her mouth while I worked my magic to procure the Faberge blue-and-diamond egg from the glass box protected by a laser sensor. This was my finest hour!
I brought an amount of baby powder hidden in my little pen flashlight and dashed it all around the glass box to expose the laser-light sensors. I then used my special elongated tweezer assembling tool to grab the egg, with each end of the tweezer tool padded with a rubber and cotton to avoid any prints. I placed the $20 million Faberge egg inside my thick coat lining and zipped up the lining. I left Ali sitting in that room and sneaked out one of the building windows with the egg.
I boarded an Aer Lingus flight to New Zealand with the $20 million. I never looked back. Years later when someone asked me, "Have you heard of the rumor that a $20 million blue-and-diamond Faberge egg was stolen from the Royal Parliament building in Romania?" I replied, "Those kind of Faberge rumors abound these days, since this is really the era of great toy drama!"
According to the papers, the culprit behind the Faberge egg heist was suspected to be a sneaky little masked serial bank robber in Romania, but no one's caught him yet either. I don't know who this rat is, but if he wants to take the wrap for this Faberge crime, I won't get in his thief way, man!
"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies" (Mother Teresa)
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
