El Chapo refuses to share his prison cell with Steve Bannon!

DrLove

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Jun 15, 2016
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FLORENCE, COLORADO (The Borowitz Report)ā€”Amid news that Steve Bannon could soon be jailed for criminal contempt, the convicted drug lord JoaquĆ­n (El Chapo) GuzmĆ”n said that ā€œunder no circumstancesā€ would he agree to share a prison cell with the former Trump adviser.​
The ex-kingpin said that, although he had not heard of any plans to house Bannon in his prison cell, he was speaking ā€œout of an abundance of caution.ā€​
ā€œIf the Department of Justice is looking for a place to lock Bannon up, donā€™t even think about putting him in with me,ā€ El Chapo, who is being held at ADX Florence, a maximum-security penitentiary, said. ā€œItā€™s not going to happen.ā€​
ā€œIā€™ve tunnelled out of prison before, and I can do it again,ā€ he warned.​
El Chapoā€™s sentiments have been echoed by the nationā€™s prison population, two million of whom have signed a petition refusing to share their cells with Bannon.​
Speaking at the D.O.J., the Attorney General, Merrick Garland, commented on El Chapoā€™s recoiling at the prospect of sharing a small space with Bannon. ā€œI canā€™t say I blame him,ā€ Garland said.​

 
I can see El Chapo giving Bannon the stink eye until Bannon begs the guards to be moved to another cell.
 

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