Bush v. Gore was a lawsuit filed by George W. Bush against Al Gore for a recount of votes in the state of Florida.
Now, those out there who actually understand the Constitution - which is about 6 percent of liberals and maybe 8 percent of conservatives, if I'm being generous - might wonder: how does a federal court have jurisdiction over Florida's business?
Answer: It doesn't.
So Team Bush had to think of some way to get the case into federal court, instead of state court, where it belonged. Hmmm. What to do, what to do? Getting into federal court requires that you plead a federal cause of action. To do that, one place to look is ol' Curly, our Constitution.
Team Bush said, "equal protection, in the 14th Amendment." Huh? An amendment ostensibly created for racial stuff? Yeah. See, the idea was that because some counties might have counted right and others wrong, the voters of Florida were "denied equal protection."
"But wait, William. That's absurd. I mean, I realize you're a racist guy and all that, but doesn't it strike you as odd that a white candidate would sue using THAT as his complaint?"
And, yes, you'd be right. The irony is, well, pretty iron.
But it worked.
Constitutional freebie: NOTHING IN THE CONSTITUTION GUARANTEES YOU THE RIGHT TO VOTE. OK, it's kind of a trick, but it's true. Anyone feel lucky enough to challenge me on that one?