A tale of two debates:
DNC Debate:
Mod: Madame Hillary, you are loved by everyone, what is it that makes you so wonderful?
Hilliary: I'm glad you asked, you see it's the vast right wing conspiracy that attacks me constantly.
Mod: Comrade Sanders, we all know that Capitalism is a failure, can you tell us your plan for explaining why Hillary is so great?
Bernie: America is sick of email, I don't even know how to turn a computer on.
Mod: Madame Hillary, America yearns for your rule, to once again let us bask in light.
Hilliary: Is that a question? I will not endure grilling by the press.
Mod: I apologize my Queen, let me kiss your feet.
_________________
GOP Debate:
Mod: Mr. Cruz, if that is even your real name, everyone hates you. Have you ever considered being less evil?
Cruz: This is why America doesn't trust the media.
QUINTANILLA: Senator, torturing puppies is your favorite hobby, so tell us why Hillary will make a better president than you?
Cruz: Is this appropriate questioning?
Mod: Mr. Trump. you starve your workers to death, is that what you plan for all Americans.
Trump: Listen you little twerp, I create job, somethine you will never do.
Mod: Can't you answer the question.
Mod: To Carly, as ugly as you are, can you expect Americans to chose you over the beautiful Madame Hillary?
Fiorina: Do you have any questions about policy?
Mod: Dr. Carson, are you a house n!gger?
Carson: The American people deserve leadership that is honest and cares about families....
Mod: Shut, no one wants to hear your shit.
Trump: I negotiated this debate down to 2 hours
Harwood: You fucking liar, it was always 2 hours.
Trump: That isn't right, your own broadcast on Monday attacked me for negotiating it down from 3 1/2
Harwood: Fuck you - no wonder America hates you and loves Queen Hillary.