Chuck Schumer And 10 Other Members Of Congress Tell Us How They Like Their Burgers Cooked

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Chuck Schumer And 10 Other Members Of Congress Tell Us How They Like Their Burgers Cooked
POLITICS·Jun 17, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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It's summer grilling season once again, and where better to look for tips and ideas on how to have the best cookout than our wise leaders in the United States Congress?

The Babylon Bee polled America's lawmakers to find out how they liked their burgers cooked, and here's a roundup of the best — and most informative — responses:

  1. Chuck Schumer: "Raw, with extra cheese… just like my cousin Amy's comedy."
  2. Mitch McConnell: "Completely frozen for at least 20 seconds."
  3. Nancy Pelosi: "Smashed, with extra vodka, like any traditional burger."
  4. Majorie Taylor Greene: "Roasted to perfection by a Jewish space laser."
  5. Lori Lightfoot: "Give it to us raw... and wriggling."
  6. Elizabeth Warren: "With a slice of fresh Peyote, just like my authentic Cherokee ancestors."
  7. Mike Johnson: "However the Democrats want it cooked."
  8. Eric Swalwell: "With a little bit of Asian spice on the side."
  9. Adam Schiff: "Slathered in Russian dressing. RUSSIA! RUUUSSSIIAAA!"
  10. Ilhan Omar: "In bread, like my kids."
 
Chuck Schumer And 10 Other Members Of Congress Tell Us How They Like Their Burgers Cooked
POLITICS·Jun 17, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

View attachment 963828

It's summer grilling season once again, and where better to look for tips and ideas on how to have the best cookout than our wise leaders in the United States Congress?

The Babylon Bee polled America's lawmakers to find out how they liked their burgers cooked, and here's a roundup of the best — and most informative — responses:

  1. Chuck Schumer: "Raw, with extra cheese… just like my cousin Amy's comedy."
  2. Mitch McConnell: "Completely frozen for at least 20 seconds."
  3. Nancy Pelosi: "Smashed, with extra vodka, like any traditional burger."
  4. Majorie Taylor Greene: "Roasted to perfection by a Jewish space laser."
  5. Lori Lightfoot: "Give it to us raw... and wriggling."
  6. Elizabeth Warren: "With a slice of fresh Peyote, just like my authentic Cherokee ancestors."
  7. Mike Johnson: "However the Democrats want it cooked."
  8. Eric Swalwell: "With a little bit of Asian spice on the side."
  9. Adam Schiff: "Slathered in Russian dressing. RUSSIA! RUUUSSSIIAAA!"
  10. Ilhan Omar: "In bread, like my kids."
As long as it is someone else's money it doesnt matter how they are cooked.
 
Chuck Schumer And 10 Other Members Of Congress Tell Us How They Like Their Burgers Cooked

View attachment 963828

A). That grill isn't even on.

B). Those wieners were not even grilled on that grill. The grill marks are too close together.

C). No one puts cheese on raw hamburgers.

D). That pasty POS probably prefers his meat raw still dripping with blood.
 
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