BREAKING: GOP Shifts to Pro-Choice after RFK Jr. Claims Ultrasounds Turns Fetuses Into Robots

[Trickster]

WASHINGTON, D.C - In a stunning turn of events, the Republican Party has officially revised its decades-long anti-abortion stance following Robert F. Kennedy Jr's claim that ultrasounds are "reprogramming fetuses into robots."

"We have been misled," said House Majority Leader Steve Scalise. "We were wrong in our belief that we were protecting human life. It turns out we have been defending government-engineered cyborgs. This changes everything."

The claim was made on a recent podcast appearence and has sent shockwaves throughout conservative media. According to RFK Jr, pre-natal care uses high-frequency sound waves as a Deep State plan to turn the next generation into mechanized and autistic cyborgs.

"We are working on the proof as we speak," Kennedy said. "BiG Ultrasound are working in a plot to remove soul essence from unborn life by using EMF-intereference."

Reactions from conservative media have been both swift and surprisingly supportive.

Ben Shapiro made a complete 180 by dismissing his previous stance on a recent Daily Wire episode stating: "
"My wife is a doctor. The idea, the idea that a zygote is human is ridiculous, OK? My wife's a doctor and facts just don't care about your feelings. Robots don't have rights."

Donald Trump: "I know Planned Parenthood. Believe me. Nobody knows them like I do. They are good guys. I met them and asked them to abort Biden. They didn't want to do it. Very disrespectful. I, Donald Trump, have the most pro-choice abortion plan in the history of pro-choice. Incredible plan. Biden had no plan. I do."

Candace Owens offereda geo-political angle: "This has Israel written all over it. I am just asking questions."

Matt Walsh has shared he is already working on a new documentary: "I asked 400 liberals what a fetus is and no one could answer it. One said it is a social construct. Another one human. It's madness."

Joe Rogan hss also brought it up on air: "Pull it up, Jamie. The ultrasound waves reprogam the fetus and use the same frequency as 5G." Dave Smith who made his 325th guest appearance on the show added:
"The government is $167 gazillion is debt and are spending your money on fetus-reprogramming-machines. Somehow I am the extreme one. I just want freedom."

Jordan Peterson, who was also present in Rogan's studio, was visibly sweating: It's like, yeah. Young men today are more depressed than ever before. Because their mothers, often unconsciously, invite The Dragon of Chaos into their lives even before they are born. While still in the belly of the beast. This is why the story of Jesus' birth is a manifestation of an archetypic ideal. Modern women are no Mother Marys, I tell you that. And when you tinker too irresponsibly with technology you will get mechanized children of the ultrasound-obsessed Leviathan of tge postmodern collectivism. Exposing the fetus to that will of course turn it into a robot. It's like the story of Pinocchio's struggle to become a real boy."

As of present time, the GOP has announced a campaign titled "Robots Don't Have Heartbeats". A bill for an ultrasound ban is being drafted in Texas sponsored by Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Related Stories:
Big Ultrasound & Big Snip Colluding to Turn Boys Autistic, Robltic and Feminine

 

[Mack The Finger]

IMHO ABs are murdering a transationaling human.

 

[AyeCantSeeYou]

Trickster Per the forum rules, a link must be provided for statements made as fact. Also, it appears you copied the majority of the text from a source. Link to it.

 

[Trickster]

Trickster Per the forum rules, a link must be provided for statements made as fact. Also, it appears you copied the majority of the text from a source. Link to it.

It's posted in satire for a reason.

Heeeeeelloooooo.

 

[AyeCantSeeYou]

It's posted in satire for a reason.

Heeeeeelloooooo.

Thanks for the confirmation. We had a report about it.