Are you garbage? Know the signs

[Votto]

Are you garbage? Know the signs
Politics·Oct 31, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

If you're a regular American who heard President Joe Biden refer to a huge swathe of the population as "garbage" the other day, you may be wondering to yourself: "Am I a garbage?"

Well, wonder no longer, for we at the Babylon Bee have consulted several public sanitation experts to determine the most definitive signs of whether or not someone is garbage. Do you fit any of them? Take a look!

1. You've had fewer than 11 Covid booster shots: You are literally, metaphorically, ecumenically, grammatically, spiritually, inconceivably trash.
2. You've never burned an American flag: Do you even love democracy, trash-boy?
3. You do this weird thing where you pay for merchandise before leaving the store with it: What sort of non-reusable landfill does this?
4. You don't try to load a shotgun through its butt during a photo-op: You disgusting, rancid load of slop.
5. Your wife doesn't have a boyfriend: Gross. How old-fashioned of you.
6. Your husband doesn't have a boyfriend: Classic garbage move.
7. You came to life when radioactive ooze was dumped on an old bag of garbage and you crawled your way out of the dumpster and are now determined to kill whoever made you a terrible reality: Wow. Literal garbage.
8. You don't have pronouns listed in your email signature: Now your pronouns are Trash/Trash's.
9. You're not a Dallas Cowboys fan: Ewww, so icky!
10. You don't want to subsidize someone else's gender studies degree: Gross — you're so foul.
11. You judge people by the content of their character: Martin Luther King would be ashamed of you, racist.
12. You think Rings Of Power is an abomination: It's a work of art — get over it, Philistine.
13. You follow the laws, pay your taxes, provide for your family, contribute to society, and go to church: Garbage is as garbage does.

Well, there you go. Do you match up with any of these signs? Oh, you do?? Gross! Get out of here, you filthy bit of garbage!!

 

[SaxonJackson]

1) I believe in the Bible. I'm garbage.
2) I believe in the US Constitution. I'm garbage.
3) I believe in personal responsibility. I'm garbage.
4) I believe in personal liberty. I'm garbage.
5) I believe in integrity. I'm garbage.
6) I believe in a strong work ethic. I'm garbage.
7) I believe in earning my money instead of stealing it. I'm garbage.
8) I like to laugh at comedians especially the ones that insult EVERYONE. I'm garbage.
9) I believe in putting America First. I'm garbage.
10) I believe in peace through strong fences and accurate guns. I'm garbage.

^^ My 10 Commandments of Garbageness ^^

 

[deannalw]

All that's really needed is for one to vote for Trump.

I'm gonna make a t-shirt that says "Proud Garbage

 

[marvin martian]

All that's really needed is for one to vote for Trump.

I'm gonna make a t-shirt that says "Proud Garbage

"Garbage" is going to be a very popular Halloween costume tonight.

 

[Votto]

1) I believe in the Bible. I'm garbage.
2) I believe in the US Constitution. I'm garbage.
3) I believe in personal responsibility. I'm garbage.
4) I believe in personal liberty. I'm garbage.
5) I believe in integrity. I'm garbage.
6) I believe in a strong work ethic. I'm garbage.
7) I believe in earning my money instead of stealing it. I'm garbage.
8) I like to laugh at comedians especially the ones that insult EVERYONE. I'm garbage.
9) I believe in putting America First. I'm garbage.
10) I believe in peace through strong fences and accurate guns. I'm garbage.

^^ My 10 Commandments of Garbageness ^^

Well, it is one thing to be garbage, but to admit to it?

Wow!

 

[Votto]

All that's really needed is for one to vote for Trump.

I'm gonna make a t-shirt that says "Proud Garbage

Dear God in heaven, I can see the pride garbage parades on the near horizen!

Say it ain't so Joe!

 

[SaxonJackson]

"Garbage" is going to be a very popular Halloween costume tonight.

 

[SaxonJackson]

Well, it is one thing to be garbage, but to admit to it?

Wow!

Well, you know what they say: "One man's garbage is another man's treasure."

 

[SaxonJackson]

Dear God in heaven, I can see the pride garbage parades on the near horizen!

Say it ain't so Joe!

View attachment 1034395

Joe can't speak right now ... his mouth is full of baby at the moment:

Yes ... he is a sick man! Keep your kids at least 100 yards from this piece of garbage.

 

[tyroneweaver]

Dear God in heaven, I can see the pride garbage parades on the near horizen!

Say it ain't so Joe!

View attachment 1034395

that bitter old coot might have a legacy worse than Bush's

 

[SassyIrishLass]

Biden made a huge blunder. Probably worse than Hillary's deplorable moment

 

[SassyIrishLass]

Joe can't speak right now ... his mouth is full of baby at the moment:

Yes ... he is a sick man! Keep your kids at least 100 yards from this piece of garbage.

Perverted old fool.

 

[Muhammed]

Dear God in heaven, I can see the pride garbage parades on the near horizen!

Say it ain't so Joe!

View attachment 1034395

 

[marvin martian]

Joe can't speak right now ... his mouth is full of baby at the moment:

Yes ... he is a sick man! Keep your kids at least 100 yards from this piece of garbage.

Biden sexually assaulted three babies this week.

 

[toobfreak]

Are you garbage? Know the signs

1. You've had fewer than 11 Covid booster shots: You are literally, metaphorically, ecumenically, grammatically, spiritually, inconceivably trash.
2. You've never burned an American flag: Do you even love democracy, trash-boy?
3. You do this weird thing where you pay for merchandise before leaving the store with it: What sort of non-reusable landfill does this?
4. You don't try to load a shotgun through its butt during a photo-op: You disgusting, rancid load of slop.
5. Your wife doesn't have a boyfriend: Gross. How old-fashioned of you.
6. Your husband doesn't have a boyfriend: Classic garbage move.
7. You came to life when radioactive ooze was dumped on an old bag of garbage and you crawled your way out of the dumpster and are now determined to kill whoever made you a terrible reality: Wow. Literal garbage.
8. You don't have pronouns listed in your email signature: Now your pronouns are Trash/Trash's.
9. You're not a Dallas Cowboys fan: Ewww, so icky!
10. You don't want to subsidize someone else's gender studies degree: Gross — you're so foul.
11. You judge people by the content of their character: Martin Luther King would be ashamed of you, racist.
12. You think Rings Of Power is an abomination: It's a work of art — get over it, Philistine.
13. You follow the laws, pay your taxes, provide for your family, contribute to society, and go to church: Garbage is as garbage does.

Well, there you go. Do you match up with any of these signs?

Wow, I am a total piece of crap! I am the garbage that garbage collects! I failed on ALL 13!

 

[toobfreak]

All that's really needed is for one to vote for Trump.
I'm gonna make a t-shirt that says "Proud Garbage

Trump should come out with a new cap that says: 'Make America Garbage Again.'

 

[Muhammed]

This morning was trash and recyclable pickup. The fuckin' garbage truck gave me a lawn job. It was chasing me through the yard trying to grab me with that big hydraulic claw thingy on the side.

 

[The Sage of Main Street]

Joe can't speak right now ... his mouth is full of baby at the moment:

Putting on Her McD Hat, Kamala Asks, "Would You Want Fries with That?"

 

[Freedomisneverfree]

 

[marvin martian]

"Garbage" is going to be a very popular Halloween costume tonight.

Update!