goy is a slur
'Goy' is another word for "nation", I have said that more then one time. Goy is not even a person, it's a very general definision.
that is not the one who issues the term who determines whether it is offensive or not, it is the one to whom the term is issued.
That will be true in case the word is indeed insulting. Which in that case, is not. That's like religious people here suddenly deciding that the Hebrew word "Doss" is insulting. Well, "Doss" simply means "religious one" in Yiddish. Nothing insulting about it, if they choose to see it as insulting, it's too bad for them.
i cannot really even think of a culture that distinguishes all other peoples as NOT being part of the group in question.
I guess you are unfamiliar with the word
Dhimmi?
well, you go ahead and use it
There is no need for me to do that. If I wish I simply say "Non-Jews" or "Non Israelis". In Israel it is more common using the word "Goy" when refering to non Israelis, mostly. But when we speak of other nations, we simply say "Europeans" or "Americans" or I dunno what.