A Story of an American Farmer.

[The2ndAmendment]

Once upon a time there were settlers in America. They decided that every man and woman should put their families crops in the basket in front of the church. When ever a family needed food they could go to the basket and take what they needed. One family decided to stop farming and live off the other families food. A few weeks go by and then another family stops farming. This process continued until all the settlers stopped farming. Everyone starved to death.

 

[The2ndAmendment]

Recent evidence shows that they desperately attempted to print food out of cardboard, and believed religiously that this food would nourish and fulfill their hunger.

 

[Mr. H.]

Then one day the government stepped in and told the farmers that they would be guraranteed the price of their crops would not drop below a certain price. And they would be afforded insurance against times when the land would not produce. Then the government told them they would receive loan guarantees, and would be paid not to plant the land. And lo! The government stepped in and granted that farmers' corn would be given a mandated market whereby they could make booze and blend it with gasoline. And to top it off, the government paved the way for grains exports to the tune of tens of millions of metric tons while leaving their fellow countryment with record prices at the grocery.

 

[The2ndAmendment]

And one day, they looked upon the disaster that they had wrought upon themselves, and came to following illustrious conclusion:

"It's not that our policies failed, but we simply did not apply them strong enough. Those men that opposed us, who warned us of our ruin, they are the blame, for they were determined to see us fail."

So for the next four years, they applied all their effort into their reinvigorated plans. Families starved, the dollar crashed, riots and mobs everywhere. In order to curb this violence, they decided to debar themselves of all firearms.

Within several months, as organized criminals stole what little food they could grow, and the government stole the rest, they realized, finally, in all their misery, that if only they had modern firearms, that they could undo the tragedy that they had brought upon themselves.

So they came up with a brilliant idea: "Let us hold a march in protest of this government, and demand that they let us regain our possession of firearms and ammunition."

Hundreds of thousands of starving citizens came to Washington DC, to verbally redress their grievances, to regain the rights that they had lost. To demand that the police protect them, and not rob them. To demand that the government not take their food and serve it instead in the finest mansions and manors that money could buy. To demand that each man was endowed at birth with his natural rights, and they could not be denied.

And the Federal Government answered:

"Let them eat Bullets."

And those millions of voices were silenced, never to speak again.



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Ladies and Gentlemen. I cannot tell you when the US dollar will fail. It could be tomorrow, 5 years, 50 years, 200 more years. But once it fails, this is either your future, or the future of posterity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Athens_(1946)

 

[The2ndAmendment]

Anyone care to continue this story? Maybe even a Prequel? (Community Effort to write satire commence!)

You can even write a Progressive story if you want:

 

[Mr. H.]

On the 8th day.... God made a farmer.

On the 9th day... his check was in the mailbox.

 

[Lakhota]

Once upon a time there were settlers in America. They decided that every man and woman should put their families crops in the basket in front of the church. When ever a family needed food they could go to the basket and take what they needed. One family decided to stop farming and live off the other families food. A few weeks go by and then another family stops farming. This process continued until all the settlers stopped farming. Everyone starved to death.

Sweet Jesus, if only it were true.

 

[Cowman]

Once upon a time there were settlers in America. They decided that every man and woman should put their families crops in the basket in front of the church. When ever a family needed food they could go to the basket and take what they needed. One family decided to stop farming and live off the other families food. A few weeks go by and then another family stops farming. This process continued until all the settlers stopped farming. Everyone starved to death.

Once upon a time a dumb thread was made, which will suffer a quick death.