A duck walks into a drug store

[miketx]

...and goes back to the back and tells the pharmacist he wants a dozen condoms. The pharmacist gives them to the duck and asks if he wants him to put them on his bill. He looks at the pharmacist and says "No, I'm not that kind of duck."

 

[1srelluc]

 

[jotathought]

Groan

 

[jotathought]

Did you hear about the sloth that was robbed by the 3 turtles?

When the police arrive and asked the sloth, "What happened? Did you get a good look at them?" the sloth replied, "I don't know, it all happened so quickly."

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]

...and goes back to the back and tells the pharmacist he wants a dozen condoms. The pharmacist gives them to the duck and asks if he wants him to put them on his bill. He looks at the pharmacist and says "No, I'm not that kind of duck."

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]

 

[Baron Von Murderpaws]

Why do ducks quack? Because they can’t moo.
Why do ducks fly south for the winter? Because they can’t drive.
And why can’t ducks drive? Their windshields are always quacked.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside.
Why do ducks lay eggs? Because they would crack if they dropped them.
Why did the duck cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.
What do you call a duck floating on a river? Bob.
What is it called when it’s raining ducks and chickens? Fowl weather.
Why don’t ducks ever make plans? They prefer to wing it.
Why did the teenage duck get grounded? He used fowl language.
Why was the duck a suspect in the crime? Police suspected the crime was fowl play.
How do you get down off a horse? You don’t — you get down off a duck.
What do spiders and ducks have in common? Webbed feet.
What did the doctor tell the duck? He had a clean bill of health!
What does the duck think about his Canadian cousin? He thinks he’s a bit of a loon.

 

[Muhammed]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says 'What's with the long face, Eddie?'

 

[JoeMoma]

I bought condoms ...on the way out the cashier said "come again"!

 

[miketx]

I bought condoms ...on the way out the cashier said "come again"!

Did you?

 

[miketx]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says 'What's with the long face, Eddie?'

Seriously, I think that statement has been taken out of context. I'd bet the part of it was clipped to just show the part in the video.

 

[JoeMoma]

Did you?

Well, I didn't use the condoms for drinking beer.

 

[Votto]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anybody can roast beef.