#6.
The Sandwich that Started a World War
You probably know from history class that World War I started with the assassination of an Austrian Archduke named Franz Ferdinand, kicking off a domino effect of events that left millions dead. You may not know, however, that what knocked over that first domino was a sandwich.
There was this guy named Gavrilo Princip. He was a Bosnian student and guerrilla, part of a group called the Black Hand. Sounds like the evil organization of mages that secretly controls the world, right? Unfortunately, it was something a lot less awesome: a Slavic independence group.
And for some weird reason, they
really hated Franz Ferdinand.
To be fair, he had that kind of face.
The World-shattering Coincidence
Let's make sure to clear this up: Gavrilo Princip very much wanted to assassinate Uncle Franz. It was how it happened that was so fucking random.
In mid-1914, Ferdinand, his wife and the obligatory group of less important political figures and other random hangers-on that always accompanies a soon-to-be-assassinated fool, were cruising through the streets of Sarajevo in a (stupidly) open-top car.
The Black Hand had crafted an intricate assassination plot, which basically consisted of, "just kill this dumbass somehow." Unfortunately, as is always true with intricate assassination plots, something went wrong.
When Franz's motorcade passed by the assassins, one of the group, a guy named Nedeljko Cabrinovic, lobbed a grenade at the motorcade. The problem was he was using a shitty 1914 grenade, so it took 10 seconds to detonate, and by then Uncle Franz was out of range. The unlucky fools in the car behind them bit it instead, and the assassins dispersed in the chaos.
Cabrinovic took a cyanide pill that failed to kill him and jumped into a three foot river to "drown" himself. Franz and his party, it seemed, were safe.
But Franz was not yet done putting his life in insane danger. Against the advice of pretty much everyone, he insisted on going to the hospital to visit the people who were injured by the grenade. The driver, unfortunately, had no idea where the fuck he was going. They ended up crisscrossing hilariously through the streets of Sarajevo, until they just randomly happened to pass a cafe where, you guessed it,
Gavrilo Princip was enjoying a post-failed-assassination sandwich.
After the obligatory pause of dumbfounded luck, Princip grabbed his pistol and turned the tide of history.
And How Did it Change The World?
First, WWI broke out ...
Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.
... Then there was the post-war economic failure...
Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.
... Which was part of the reason Germany actually elected...
Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.
... Who caused...
Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.
... Which ended with...
Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.
... which resulted in the Cold War...
Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.
... Which led to...
Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.
... And finally gave us:
Pictured: Gavrilo Princip's fault.
That's right. Most of the horror and death of the 20th Century may not have happened had Gavrilo Princip not gotten the munchies for a sandwich.
