47 Tips to Keep You Away from the ER

boedicca

Uppity Water Nymph from the Land of Funk
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Tips from an ER doctor to keep you away from his (and I would assume most) ERs.


I’m an ER doc. I care for patients. All patients: Those who need to be in the ER; those who don’t; those who wouldn’t be there if they knew better. For them, for you and for fun, I’ve got some tips to keep you happy, safe and away from my ER. Enjoy.

47 tips to keep you away from my ER.
 
Tip #1:
Let the same people who cheer letting born babies die on the table take control of your healthcare.

ER’s will be a distant memory to all.
 
I too thought #14 was not good. Churches are actually a pretty good place to go to and religion is mostly not a bad thing up until you are convinced you should strap a bomb to your back and go shoot a bunch of people. Otherwise, good stuff.

Wonder what the consensus would be for posting on the USMB, let alone moderating it.
 
I think that this is my favorite tip of all...........................

Church is dangerous. That’s where my syncopal patients come from. They go to church, they faint, they fall, they break a hip. Bars are safer.
 
My favorite is #39: Don't fry bacon naked.

Bacon is best naked. Who wants it covered with hairy pig skin?
 
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Common sense will tell you that a hospital is the worst place to be when your immune system is compromised by prescription drugs or other causes. Like Willie Sutton said when he was asked why he robbed banks, "that's where the money is. A hospital is where the diseases are. Stay the hell out if you can avoid it.
 
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