10 Ways An AI Wife Is Better Than A Real One

[Votto]

10 Ways An AI Wife Is Better Than A Real One​

Family·Jul 23, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

With the dawn of artificial intelligence wives, you may be asking yourself: which is better? Artificial intelligence, or the real thing?

Here are ten clear ways an AI wife is better than a real one:

1. Can pick a restaurant in milliseconds: Huge upgrade.
2. Great at directions: No more of this "It's just a little way past that cute cottage" garbage.
3. Ten percent less likely to murder you in your sleep: It's not much, but it's something.
4. Never wants to have sex when you're kinda tired: Phew!
5. Doesn't care that you sleep on an air mattress and live in filth: She's so sweet that way.
6. Wouldn't mind if you went out with your friends (if you had any): It would just be nice to know you could.
7. Any time she says "I don't feel like it," you can reply with "that's impossible, you don't have feelings," and instantly win the argument: Boom.
8. Unlikely to get pregnant by Elon Musk: Never say never.
9. Never challenges you to grow, so you can remain exactly as self-centered as you already are: Sweet!
10. Won't cry when you die: Ugh, crying is the worst.

Real wives have some serious competition. Let us know in the comments any other advantages you can think of.

 

[1srelluc]

 

[toobfreak]

10 Ways An AI Wife Is Better Than A Real One​

Family·Jul 23, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1140162

With the dawn of artificial intelligence wives, you may be asking yourself: which is better? Artificial intelligence, or the real thing?

Here are ten clear ways an AI wife is better than a real one:

1. Can pick a restaurant in milliseconds: Huge upgrade.
2. Great at directions: No more of this "It's just a little way past that cute cottage" garbage.
3. Ten percent less likely to murder you in your sleep: It's not much, but it's something.
4. Never wants to have sex when you're kinda tired: Phew!
5. Doesn't care that you sleep on an air mattress and live in filth: She's so sweet that way.
6. Wouldn't mind if you went out with your friends (if you had any): It would just be nice to know you could.
7. Any time she says "I don't feel like it," you can reply with "that's impossible, you don't have feelings," and instantly win the argument: Boom.
8. Unlikely to get pregnant by Elon Musk: Never say never.
9. Never challenges you to grow, so you can remain exactly as self-centered as you already are: Sweet!
10. Won't cry when you die: Ugh, crying is the worst.

Real wives have some serious competition. Let us know in the comments any other advantages you can think of.

Yeah but, real wives have their positives as well. Real wives:

• Are warm to the touch.
• Their hair smells nice.
• They have a pulse.
• They might murder you in your sleep, a good impetus not to take them for granted.
• The sex is real.
• The orgasms are real.
• Inspires you to better yourself starting with getting out of bed and taking a shower each day.
• Has recipe for her granny's famous fudge nuggets.

 

[1srelluc]

We were promised Japanese Cat Gurls.

 

[fncceo]

They have a pulse.

Not always.

 

[toobfreak]

Not always.

You got me there. Case in point: Hillary.

 

[Anathema]

Yeah but, real wives have their positives as well. Real wives:

• Are warm to the touch.
• Their hair smells nice.
• They have a pulse.
• They might murder you in your sleep, a good impetus not to take them for granted.
• The sex is real.
• The orgasms are real.
• Inspires you to better yourself starting with getting out of bed and taking a shower each day.
• Has recipe for her granny's famous fudge nuggets.

Yeah, but when we “marry” the next generation tai to the next generation of robots, so they can cook, clean, do the laundry, etc… there really won’t be much call for flesh and blood women in a man’s life.

 

[Oddball]

10 Ways An AI Wife Is Better Than A Real One​

Family·Jul 23, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 1140162

With the dawn of artificial intelligence wives, you may be asking yourself: which is better? Artificial intelligence, or the real thing?

Here are ten clear ways an AI wife is better than a real one:

1. Can pick a restaurant in milliseconds: Huge upgrade.
2. Great at directions: No more of this "It's just a little way past that cute cottage" garbage.
3. Ten percent less likely to murder you in your sleep: It's not much, but it's something.
4. Never wants to have sex when you're kinda tired: Phew!
5. Doesn't care that you sleep on an air mattress and live in filth: She's so sweet that way.
6. Wouldn't mind if you went out with your friends (if you had any): It would just be nice to know you could.
7. Any time she says "I don't feel like it," you can reply with "that's impossible, you don't have feelings," and instantly win the argument: Boom.
8. Unlikely to get pregnant by Elon Musk: Never say never.
9. Never challenges you to grow, so you can remain exactly as self-centered as you already are: Sweet!
10. Won't cry when you die: Ugh, crying is the worst.

Real wives have some serious competition. Let us know in the comments any other advantages you can think of.

Nothing in there about my sammich....No deal.

 

[Votto]

 

[The Irish Ram]

If she can cook, i'm getting my husband one...