You might be from Florida if . . .

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Merlin1047, Sep 23, 2004.

  1. Merlin1047
    Offline

    Merlin1047 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2004
    Messages:
    3,500
    Thanks Received:
    449
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    AL
    Ratings:
    +450
    E-mailed to me. Author unknown.



    You might be a Floridian if:

    You exhibit a slight twitch when introduced to anyone with the first names of Charley, Frances or Ivan.

    Your freezer never has more than $20 worth of food in it any given time.

    You’re looking at paint swatches for the plywood on your windows, to accent the house color.

    You think of your hall closet/saferoom as "cozy".

    Your pool is more accurately described as "framed in" than "screened in"

    Your freezer in the garage now only has homemade ice in it

    You no longer worry about relatives visiting during the summer months

    You too haven't heard back from the insurance adjuster

    You now understand what that little "2% hurricane deductible" phrase really means

    You're putting a collage together on your driveway of roof shingles from your neighborhood

    You were once proud of your 16" electric chain saw

    Your Street has more than 3 "NO WAKE" signs posted

    You now own 5 large ice chests

    Your parrot can now say" hammered, pounded and hunker down"

    You recognize people in line at the free ice, gas and plywood locations

    You stop what you're doing and clap and wave when you see a convoy of power company trucks come down your street

    You're depressed when they don't stop

    You have the personal cell phone numbers of the managers for: plywood, roofing supplies and generators at Home Depot on your speed dialer

    You've spent more than $20 on "Tall white kitchen bags" to make your own sand bags

    You're considering upgrading your 16" to a 20" chainsaw

    You know what "Bar chain oil" is

    You're thinking of getting your wife the hardhat with the ear protector and face shield for Christmas

    You now think the $6000 whole house generator seems reasonable

    You look forward to discussions about the merits of "cubed, block and dry ice"

    Your therapist refers to your condition as "generator envy"

    You fight the urge to put on your winter coat and wool cap and parade around in front of your picture window, when you finally get power and your neighbor across the street, with the noisy generator doesn't get electric

    And finally, you might be a Floridian if

    You ask your friend up north to start saving the Sunday Real Estate classifieds!
     
  2. Joz
    Offline

    Joz Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2004
    Messages:
    3,392
    Thanks Received:
    221
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +221
    :rotflmao:
     
  3. 007
    Offline

    007 Charter Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2004
    Messages:
    38,348
    Thanks Received:
    7,868
    Trophy Points:
    1,130
    Ratings:
    +11,959
    WOW Merlin.... cruel but FUNNY!! :teeth:
     
  4. Zhukov
    Offline

    Zhukov VIP Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2003
    Messages:
    3,492
    Thanks Received:
    301
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    Everywhere, simultaneously.
    Ratings:
    +301
    Right now, there isn't anything but ice up there. This Florida place is great.
     
  5. dilloduck
    Offline

    dilloduck Diamond Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2004
    Messages:
    53,240
    Thanks Received:
    5,552
    Trophy Points:
    1,850
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Ratings:
    +6,403
    You can also trim all you trees yourself because there are none left over 6 feet tall !

    edit---crap--I jinxed myself. Now we are getting the remnants of Ivan. Too wierd!
     
  6. Zhukov
    Offline

    Zhukov VIP Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2003
    Messages:
    3,492
    Thanks Received:
    301
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    Everywhere, simultaneously.
    Ratings:
    +301
    It's theorized that Ivan might roll around in the gulf for awhile, reconstitute itself into a hurricane and come hit Florida again. I think that would be a first.
     

Share This Page