You Might be a Democrat if....

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by Lumpy 1, Jun 9, 2013.

  1. Lumpy 1
    Offline

    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    35,978
    Thanks Received:
    9,096
    Trophy Points:
    1,370
    Ratings:
    +18,497
    Just for giggles and poops...

    ----------------------------------:eusa_angel:

    You Might Be A Democrat If...

    You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.
    You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
    You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless
    spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
    You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
    You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
    You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
    You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
    You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense.
    You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.
    You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
    You've never been mugged.
    You actually expect to collect Social Security.
    You think the State of Florida should have tried to reform Ted Bundy.
    You think the Great Society has actually worked.
    You don't see the similarity between WONK and WANK.
    You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President."
    You think Ayn Rand is an African currency.
    Your house smells like a garbage dump because of your commitment to recycling.
    You think political patronage describes the Kennedy family.
    Your High School Year Book goals included the words "help people."
    You think the Free Market is where they hand out Government cheese.
    You think Carter should be on Mt. Rushmore.
    You believe personal injury lawyers when they say they are just trying to defend the little guy.
    You know that those profit mongering drug companies could find a cure for AIDS if they really wanted to.
    You actually believe the NY Times and Washington Post.
    You know at least one Vegan.
    You trust Teddy Kennedy when he said that she was driving.
    You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock.
    You think public housing is great, but just NIMBY.
    You think the anti-war protestors from '60s are the real heroes.
    You think that Supply Side Economics refers to your dope dealer's stash.
    You think Michael Jackson is a great example of diversity.
    You actually think that poverty can be abolished.
    You think that Joan Baez had something to say.
    You admire the Swedish welfare system.
    You know that Jefferson really meant to say "Entitled to Happiness."
    You think the Flat Tax should be at 95%
    You go to Gay Pride Day parades so that no one can call you homophobic.
    After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."

    You Might Be A Democrat If... - Funny Democrat Joke
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 3
  2. The Rabbi
    Offline

    The Rabbi Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2009
    Messages:
    67,629
    Thanks Received:
    7,823
    Trophy Points:
    1,840
    Location:
    Nashville
    Ratings:
    +18,230
    The fallacy here is that Democrats think. They don't.
     
  3. TemplarKormac
    Offline

    TemplarKormac Classical Liberal Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2013
    Messages:
    39,125
    Thanks Received:
    6,178
    Trophy Points:
    1,140
    Location:
    Planet Zebes
    Ratings:
    +14,398
    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

    The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

    She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

    "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

    "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

    The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

    "I am," replied the balloonist. "But how did you know?"

    "Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You've made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect ME to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now, it's MY fault.

    Bwahahaha!

    :lmao: :lol: :lmao: :lol:
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  4. tinydancer
    Offline

    tinydancer Diamond Member

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2010
    Messages:
    48,895
    Thanks Received:
    11,712
    Trophy Points:
    2,070
    Location:
    Sundown
    Ratings:
    +32,544
    You will not admit that trees are a renewable resource.

    You've ever yelled, "capitalist".

    You support PETA and Green Peace, but still eat beef, fish, lamb, and wear leather garments.

    You've ever said, "the Bill Of Rights is outdated".

    You support diversity, as long as others agree with you.


    The Humor Bin - You Might Be A Democrat If
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  5. Wildman
    Offline

    Wildman Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2013
    Messages:
    9,056
    Thanks Received:
    1,536
    Trophy Points:
    245
    Location:
    this Side of Heaven
    Ratings:
    +4,042
    i just had to add this to the huge list of liberal foolishness, it is 670 pages long, whenever i need a great belly laff (sic) i read a few pages, then laff my ass off !

    [​IMG]
    What Liberals Believe
    Thousands of Quotes on Why America Needs to Be Rescued from Greedy Corporations, Homophobes, Racists, Imperialists, Xenophobes, and Religious Extremists
    William Martin
     
  6. konradv
    Offline

    konradv Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2010
    Messages:
    24,304
    Thanks Received:
    2,869
    Trophy Points:
    280
    Location:
    Baltimore
    Ratings:
    +6,884
    There is a satire forum for this sort of thing. It's not like a similar list of Republican foolishness couldn't be or probably has been created.
     
  7. Wolfsister77
    Offline

    Wolfsister77 Knowledge Is Power Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2012
    Messages:
    9,182
    Thanks Received:
    3,866
    Trophy Points:
    385
    Location:
    Lake Country
    Ratings:
    +4,703
    Yes, there are similar Republican lists out there. But hey, It's humor. No big deal.
     
  8. Intense
    Offline

    Intense Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2009
    Messages:
    44,909
    Thanks Received:
    5,852
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Ratings:
    +5,868
    Moved To Political Satire.
     
  9. Lumpy 1
    Offline

    Lumpy 1 Diamond Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    35,978
    Thanks Received:
    9,096
    Trophy Points:
    1,370
    Ratings:
    +18,497
    It must have hurt his widdle feelings ...:lol:...sorry little puss
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2013
  10. konradv
    Offline

    konradv Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2010
    Messages:
    24,304
    Thanks Received:
    2,869
    Trophy Points:
    280
    Location:
    Baltimore
    Ratings:
    +6,884
    Thank you.
     

Share This Page