Wouldn't It Be Great To Turn On The Tv And Hear Our President Give The Following Spee

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by Annie, Aug 4, 2004.

  1. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    I've seen this before, I thought perhaps here. I searched but didn't find it. It WOULD be good to hear this, though not about Iraq, not right now, but the rest...:

    My Fellow Americans:
    As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
    congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission
    in Iraq is complete.

    This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
    forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is
    now
    time to begin the reckoning.

    Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
    which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
    short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
    some of the countries listed there.

    The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
    worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
    distributing
    copies of both lists later this evening.

    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
    nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
    during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
    Iraqi war.

    The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
    Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

    Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

    In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
    money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
    On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
    will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
    of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France,
    or
    maybe China.

    To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
    deal
    now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
    Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
    tables,
    too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
    France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
    retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

    I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
    UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
    parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
    shredded
    and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
    creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets
    tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
    over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

    A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
    likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
    try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2.
    President
    Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
    adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
    sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security.
    So start doing something with your oil.

    Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
    starting now.

    We are tired of the one-way highway.

    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
    citizens.
    Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
    tootin."

    Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
    world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
    the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
    eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
    Soccer from America.

    To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and
    we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

    God bless America.
    Thank you and good night.

    If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
    English, thank a soldier.
     
  2. Sandy73
    Online

    Sandy73 Guest

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    My Fellow Americans:
    > > > >
    > > > > As you all know, the defeat of the Iraqi regime has been completed.
    > > > > Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war,
    our
    > > > > mission in Iraq is finished.
    > > > >
    > > > > This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
    > > > > forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days.
    > > > >
    > > > > It is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists.
    > > > >
    > > > > One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our
    side
    > > > > during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom,
    > > > > Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries
    > > > listed there.
    > > > >
    > > > > The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
    > > > > world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
    > > > > distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
    > > > >
    > > > > Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
    > > > > those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The
    money
    > > >
    > > > > saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs
    > > > > of the Iraqi war.
    > > > >
    > > > > The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
    world
    > > >
    > > > > hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on
    corruption.
    > > > >
    > > > > Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.
    > > > >
    > > > > In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
    > > > > money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at
    home.
    > > > >
    > > > > On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and
    we
    > > > > will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the
    > > > > face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try
    > > > > France, or maybe China.
    > > > >
    > > > > To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace
    > > > > deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can
    go
    > > >
    > > > > to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big
    > > > tables, too.
    > > > >
    > > > > I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
    > > > > France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We
    > > > > are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
    > > > >
    > > > > I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the
    many
    > > > > UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two
    unpaid
    > > > > parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped,
    > > > > shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to
    > > > > this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those
    > > > > tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos
    be
    > > > > turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love
    New
    > > > York.
    > > > >
    > > > > A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
    > > > > likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want
    to
    > > > > try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2.
    > > > > President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an
    > > > > attitude adjustment. Since I will have a couple of extra tank and
    > > > > infantry divisions sitting around, guess where I am going to put em?
    > > > > Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.
    > > > >
    > > > > Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
    > > > > starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. It is time for
    > > > > America to focus on the welfare of its own citizens. Some will
    accuse
    > > > > us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
    > > > >
    > > > > Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around
    the
    > > >
    > > > > world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone
    on
    > > > the planet.
    > > > > It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
    > > > > homelessness in America.
    > > > >
    > > > > To the nations on List 1, a final thought, thanks guys, we owe you
    and
    > > >
    > > > > we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, thanks for nothing.
    > > > >
    > > > > God bless America.
    > > > >
    > > > > Thank you and good night.
    > > > >
    > > > > If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
    > > > > English, thank a soldier.
    > > > >
    > > > > (Please forward this to at least ten friends and see what happens!
    > > > > Let's get this to every USA computer!)
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > >
     
  3. Bullypulpit
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    Bullypulpit Senior Member

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    Jingoistic, kneejerk poppycock.
     
  4. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    My dear, is that the best you can do?
     
  5. Bullypulpit
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    Bullypulpit Senior Member

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    Out of respect for you, dear lady, I do not. Besides, it needs no more than that.
     
  6. clumzgirl
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    clumzgirl Member

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    I say "Ahhhhhhh-men!" :D
     

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