Brain cells come & brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. Now that food has replaced sex, in my life, I can't even get into my pants. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect standing up fast. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. Why is it most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them. If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. Everytime I walk into a singles bar I hear mom's wise words, "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!" How come we choose from 2 people for President and 50 for Miss America? A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn--that was fun!" (and my favorite) There are 2 sides to every divorce. Your and shithead's.