Why the Decline of Marriage in America?

[Grace]

So basically we're all in agreement that it's mostly the social and cultural changes in America that have brought about the de-emphasis of marriage in this country, right? The prevalance of women in the workforce, the loss of gender roles, the availability of sex outside of a committed relationship, etc.... having lead to these changes.

Ok, then how about this.... Are these changes Good, Bad, or Indifferent to American society, culture, and the country as a whole?

Depends.

 

[JBeukema]

It is not the failure of marriage; it is the failure of men to recognize what marriage was ordained to be. By a singular paradox it is the triumph of the bourgeois. Only the hero is capable of marriage as the church understands it; for the marriage oath is a compact of appalling solemnity, an alliance of two souls against the world and against fate, with invocation of the great blessing of the Most High. Death is not the most beautiful of adventures, as Frohman said, for death is unavoidable; marriage is a voluntary heroism. That marriage has today become a matter of convenience is the last word of the commercial spirit. It is as if one should take a vow of knighthood to combat dragons— until the dragons appeared.
-Crowley, 'Absinthe'

 

[Phoenix]

I can tell you why I am not getting married again, marriage really only benefits the woman. She gets to show off her expensive engagement ring and brag to her friends and get to feel good about herself by not looking like a slut while the man is stuck paying for all that and losing his freedoms, and god forbid a divorce happens the man loses EVERYTHING, he is lucky to see his kids every other weekend and has to pay out the ass for child support and alimony, with all these odds stacked against the men why would we would want to engage in this risky act of terrorism called marriage? no thank you, at least if you just live with a woman you can just call it quits without spending thousands of dollars of your own money and losing half your possessions while she is out partying with her new boyfriend spending your money.

Perhaps that is your opinion, colored by your experiences. Mine would be similar but not exactly the same, of course, and from the opposite perspective.

Marriage is at times a crap shoot - despite the fact that my dad vehemently disagrees with me. He's been married to the same woman for almost 50 years though - what's he gonna say?

 

[rdean]

White, middle aged Republicans find gay men so delectable. So enticing. So, yum, yum, yum.

Now that gay relationships aren't as "shameful", many are following their "dreams". mmmmmmmm

Their "wet" dreams.

 

[Sunshine]

And then there is the income bracket of people who simply can't pay the marriage license fee. And the elderly who will lose pensions, etc. if they marry/remarry.

 

[Shadow]

I can tell you why I am not getting married again, marriage really only benefits the woman. She gets to show off her expensive engagement ring and brag to her friends and get to feel good about herself by not looking like a slut while the man is stuck paying for all that and losing his freedoms, and god forbid a divorce happens the man loses EVERYTHING, he is lucky to see his kids every other weekend and has to pay out the ass for child support and alimony, with all these odds stacked against the men why would we would want to engage in this risky act of terrorism called marriage? no thank you, at least if you just live with a woman you can just call it quits without spending thousands of dollars of your own money and losing half your possessions while she is out partying with her new boyfriend spending your money.

Perhaps that is your opinion, colored by your experiences. Mine would be similar but not exactly the same, of course, and from the opposite perspective.

Marriage is at times a crap shoot - despite the fact that my dad vehemently disagrees with me. He's been married to the same woman for almost 50 years though - what's he gonna say?

I agree. He makes it sound like there are no dead beat men out there who benefit in marriage by having the wife hold a steady job, and help them pay off their debts... and buy new toys. While they simply can't be bothered to do the same or be an actual partner in the relationship.

Yeah sure...the women are the ONLY ones who benefit....ever.

 

[High_Gravity]

I can tell you why I am not getting married again, marriage really only benefits the woman. She gets to show off her expensive engagement ring and brag to her friends and get to feel good about herself by not looking like a slut while the man is stuck paying for all that and losing his freedoms, and god forbid a divorce happens the man loses EVERYTHING, he is lucky to see his kids every other weekend and has to pay out the ass for child support and alimony, with all these odds stacked against the men why would we would want to engage in this risky act of terrorism called marriage? no thank you, at least if you just live with a woman you can just call it quits without spending thousands of dollars of your own money and losing half your possessions while she is out partying with her new boyfriend spending your money.

Perhaps that is your opinion, colored by your experiences. Mine would be similar but not exactly the same, of course, and from the opposite perspective.

Marriage is at times a crap shoot - despite the fact that my dad vehemently disagrees with me. He's been married to the same woman for almost 50 years though - what's he gonna say?

Congrats to your dad but he was married in a different time, I don't think marriage is compatible with most people in the country these days because we are not like we used to be 50 years ago.

 

[High_Gravity]

I can tell you why I am not getting married again, marriage really only benefits the woman. She gets to show off her expensive engagement ring and brag to her friends and get to feel good about herself by not looking like a slut while the man is stuck paying for all that and losing his freedoms, and god forbid a divorce happens the man loses EVERYTHING, he is lucky to see his kids every other weekend and has to pay out the ass for child support and alimony, with all these odds stacked against the men why would we would want to engage in this risky act of terrorism called marriage? no thank you, at least if you just live with a woman you can just call it quits without spending thousands of dollars of your own money and losing half your possessions while she is out partying with her new boyfriend spending your money.

Perhaps that is your opinion, colored by your experiences. Mine would be similar but not exactly the same, of course, and from the opposite perspective.

Marriage is at times a crap shoot - despite the fact that my dad vehemently disagrees with me. He's been married to the same woman for almost 50 years though - what's he gonna say?

I agree. He makes it sound like there are no dead beat men out there who benefit in marriage by having the wife hold a steady job, and help them pay off their debts... and buy new toys. While they simply can't be bothered to do the same or be an actual partner in the relationship.
Yeah sure...the women are the ONLY ones who benefit....ever.

There are people out there like that sure, I have seen them. However, most women are looking for an equal partner or someone who makes more than them, most of the time these women get tired of these guys and move on if they can't carry their weight.

 

[High_Gravity]

And then there is the income bracket of people who simply can't pay the marriage license fee. And the elderly who will lose pensions, etc. if they marry/remarry.

Marriage license fee? you can get married for $20 in Nebraska.

 

[editec]

The institution of Marriage has taken a major hit in the United States in the last half century. With the prevelance of divorce, couples living together without being married, and people waiting longer to get married, marriage has apparently lost a lot of its luster for many people.

Why do you think that is? Does it have to do with the de-emphasis on religion; changes in American culture and society; legal issues; or something else alltogether?

If its true, I suspect that economics plays a signicant role it later marriages.

 

[Nate]

The institution of Marriage has taken a major hit in the United States in the last half century. With the prevelance of divorce, couples living together without being married, and people waiting longer to get married, marriage has apparently lost a lot of its luster for many people.

Why do you think that is? Does it have to do with the de-emphasis on religion; changes in American culture and society; legal issues; or something else alltogether?

There are just so many factors on why divorce is so prevalent in our society today! I do believe the lack of religious guilt is one of the major reasons but you must take into account that over the last century America has gone through some extreme social changes. From the point where women had to join the workforce when the men had to go fight in the war(s) to the women's liberation movement... The role of the woman has gone from being a piece of property to being an equal.
Another reason is that the stigma of being a divorcee is all but gone. There are even cruise packages that cater specifically to the newly single person.

Personally, I consider marriage a dying beast that should be put out of its misery and buried deep where no one can ever find it... but my view may be a little skewed for that bitch took me to the cleaners after supporting her ass for 11 long years!

 

[High_Gravity]

The institution of Marriage has taken a major hit in the United States in the last half century. With the prevelance of divorce, couples living together without being married, and people waiting longer to get married, marriage has apparently lost a lot of its luster for many people.

Why do you think that is? Does it have to do with the de-emphasis on religion; changes in American culture and society; legal issues; or something else alltogether?

There are just so many factors on why divorce is so prevalent in our society today! I do believe the lack of religious guilt is one of the major reasons but you must take into account that over the last century America has gone through some extreme social changes. From the point where women had to join the workforce when the men had to go fight in the war(s) to the women's liberation movement... The role of the woman has gone from being a piece of property to being an equal.
Another reason is that the stigma of being a divorcee is all but gone. There are even cruise packages that cater specifically to the newly single person.

Personally, I consider marriage a dying beast that should be put out of its misery and buried deep where no one can ever find it... but my view may be a little skewed for that bitch took me to the cleaners after supporting her ass for 11 long years!

I don't know, I have met many religious folks whose marriages have failed as well, its a failure across the boards right now in this country regardless of your beliefs.

 

[HUGGY]

Why the Decline of Marriage in America?

Dildos...yup...definitely dildos.

 

[High_Gravity]

Why the Decline of Marriage in America?

Dildos...yup...definitely dildos.

And hot lesbians, once your girl gives that a try its a wrap, nothing a guy can do to compete when your girl developes a taste for other beautiful women.

 

[HUGGY]

Why the Decline of Marriage in America?

Dildos...yup...definitely dildos.

And hot lesbians, once your girl gives that a try its a wrap, nothing a guy can do to compete when your girl developes a taste for other beautiful women.

Not so fast... The trick is to ENCOURAGE it. My girlfriend Rhonda had to take off from our mountain getaway in Boulder and she left her "little friend" that kept her company, while ol HUGGY was out smugglin, behind as a "gift" when she had to go back to Texas for a couple of weeks to help her ailing grandma..

So what did HUGGY do? The only sensible thing my friend... That's what HUGGY did. I paid for a first class ticket for "her little friend" in Hawaii to fly over and we had a two week long three way. Just gotta go with the flow...be flexible. Speaking of flexible...the one Rhonda left for me was a former gymnastics champion from Minnesota.. NOW she was flexible...

 

[High_Gravity]

Why the Decline of Marriage in America?

Dildos...yup...definitely dildos.

And hot lesbians, once your girl gives that a try its a wrap, nothing a guy can do to compete when your girl developes a taste for other beautiful women.

Not so fast... The trick is to ENCOURAGE it. My girlfriend Rhonda had to take off from our mountain getaway in Boulder and she left her "little friend" that kept her company, while ol HUGGY was out smugglin, behind as a "gift" when she had to go back to Texas for a couple of weeks to help her ailing grandma..

So what did HUGGY do? The only sensible thing my friend... That's what HUGGY did. I paid for a first class ticket for "her little friend" in Hawaii to fly over and we had a two week long three way. Just gotta go with the flow...be flexible. Speaking of flexible...the one Rhonda left for me was a former gymnastics champion from Minnesota.. NOW she was flexible...

I would rep you twice for this I could, you are the man.

 

[Shadow]

Perhaps that is your opinion, colored by your experiences. Mine would be similar but not exactly the same, of course, and from the opposite perspective.

Marriage is at times a crap shoot - despite the fact that my dad vehemently disagrees with me. He's been married to the same woman for almost 50 years though - what's he gonna say?

I agree. He makes it sound like there are no dead beat men out there who benefit in marriage by having the wife hold a steady job, and help them pay off their debts... and buy new toys. While they simply can't be bothered to do the same or be an actual partner in the relationship.
Yeah sure...the women are the ONLY ones who benefit....ever.

There are people out there like that sure, I have seen them. However, most women are looking for an equal partner or someone who makes more than them, most of the time these women get tired of these guys and move on if they can't carry their weight.

Carry their weight how? At any rate...if you go looking for a high maint superficial Hooter girl type...don't then be suprised when you get someone who expects you to take them to the mall and buy them "things".

If you want a life partner...you're going to have to dig a little deeper than what her boobies look like in a tight shirt, and how good she is in bed. You can't tell me men can't figure out if they have a gold digger type of woman long before they put the ring on the girls finger. Men could "move on" from the superficial gimme gimme type too...if they really wanted to. If that's what they keep going after and ending up with...then maybe they are the shallow ones.

 

[HUGGY]

I agree. He makes it sound like there are no dead beat men out there who benefit in marriage by having the wife hold a steady job, and help them pay off their debts... and buy new toys. While they simply can't be bothered to do the same or be an actual partner in the relationship.
Yeah sure...the women are the ONLY ones who benefit....ever.

There are people out there like that sure, I have seen them. However, most women are looking for an equal partner or someone who makes more than them, most of the time these women get tired of these guys and move on if they can't carry their weight.

Carry their weight how? At any rate...if you go looking for a high maint superficial Hooter girl type...don't then be suprised when you get someone who expects you to take them to the mall and buy them "things".

If you want a life partner...you're going to have to dig a little deeper than what her boobies look like in a tight shirt, and how good she is in bed. You can't tell me men can't figure out if they have a gold digger type of woman long before they put the ring on the girls finger. Men could "move on" from the superficial gimme gimme type too...if they really wanted to. If that's what they keep going after and ending up with...then maybe they are the shallow ones.

Well she better be good in bed or on the washing machine during spin cycle...cuz you ain't gonna get any poon tang in one of those teenie weenie electric cars....



Whoops!! wrong thread! My bad!!

 

[Shadow]

There are people out there like that sure, I have seen them. However, most women are looking for an equal partner or someone who makes more than them, most of the time these women get tired of these guys and move on if they can't carry their weight.

Carry their weight how? At any rate...if you go looking for a high maint superficial Hooter girl type...don't then be suprised when you get someone who expects you to take them to the mall and buy them "things".

If you want a life partner...you're going to have to dig a little deeper than what her boobies look like in a tight shirt, and how good she is in bed. You can't tell me men can't figure out if they have a gold digger type of woman long before they put the ring on the girls finger. Men could "move on" from the superficial gimme gimme type too...if they really wanted to. If that's what they keep going after and ending up with...then maybe they are the shallow ones.

Well she better be good in bed or on the washing machine during spin cycle...cuz you ain't gonna get any poon tang in one of those teenie weenie electric cars....



Whoops!! wrong thread! My bad!!

Come on Huggy... be real...anyone who is creative and flexible enough to get poo tang on the WM...is creative/flexible enough to get it anywhere. Who are you trying to kid?

 

[Sunshine]

And then there is the income bracket of people who simply can't pay the marriage license fee. And the elderly who will lose pensions, etc. if they marry/remarry.

Marriage license fee? you can get married for $20 in Nebraska.

Not so in Tennessee where I lived for 20 years.

Tennessee Marriage License Information, Laws, Requirements

Imagine yourself a disabled person, an old person on Social Security or, welfare recipient who lives on $500 or less a month. In those cases in TN the fees could be more than 20% of your income for one month.

For some to marry or not to marry is merely a practical consideration. I work with a woman who lives with her boyfriend. She is in her 50s. She has to stay unmarried until age 62 in order to draw social security off her ex. And that will work in states that do not recognize common law marriage.

The relationship is not passé nor prohibitive. The cost is.

And here are the rest by state: Marriage License Laws > Marriage License Requirements > By States

I know a couple of people who simply don't want the expense of a divorce in case their current relationship doesn't work out. I don't really think that marriage as a relationship has changed. But the logistics of it has.