I guess it's just one way we differ Foxfyre. If someone went out of their way to explain to me why something is or isn't offensive I would try and accomodate them rather than say or do something deliberately hurtful.
So how am I different from you that way? Because I treat you like I treat everybody else? You don't do that? I do my damndest to not be deliberately hurtful to anybody. But if to never offend or hurt somebody means I have to be who or what somebody else demands I be, that's asking way too much.