Why do men die first?

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Two Thumbs, Apr 22, 2011.

  1. Two Thumbs
    Offline

    Two Thumbs Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    33,450
    Thanks Received:
    5,786
    Trophy Points:
    1,140
    Location:
    Where ever I go, there I am.
    Ratings:
    +11,589
    After many years of constant and vigorous research, I have solved why men die first.

    The following evidence, nay PROOF, will make it clear to all;

    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy. If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

    If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet . .. its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp. If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you ... she's a liberated woman.

    If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If SHE asks you ... it's a favour. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ...you're gay.

    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape .. you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. If you buy her flowers .. you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.

    If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you don't ... you're not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache .. you don't love her anymore.

    If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.

    Why do men die first ?

    Because they want to.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  2. ekrem
    Offline

    ekrem VIP Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2005
    Messages:
    7,243
    Thanks Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Ratings:
    +375
    If you become older the hormones which function primarily for men decrease and the hormones which primarily have a function for women increase.

    [​IMG]
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  3. Cuyo
    Offline

    Cuyo Training a Guineapig army

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2010
    Messages:
    5,681
    Thanks Received:
    942
    Trophy Points:
    98
    Location:
    Denver, PA
    Ratings:
    +942
    I'm convinced we quite literally get nagged to death.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  4. percysunshine
    Offline

    percysunshine Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2011
    Messages:
    16,713
    Thanks Received:
    2,261
    Trophy Points:
    280
    Location:
    Sty
    Ratings:
    +5,872
    European males are wimps. Everyone knows that.
     
  5. waltky
    Offline

    waltky Wise ol' monkey Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2011
    Messages:
    20,849
    Thanks Received:
    1,791
    Trophy Points:
    215
    Location:
    Okolona, KY
    Ratings:
    +3,881
    Uncle Ferd says...

    ... is `cause womens aggrievate `em to death.
    :cool:
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2011
  6. ekrem
    Offline

    ekrem VIP Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2005
    Messages:
    7,243
    Thanks Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Ratings:
    +375
    [​IMG]
     
  7. Two Thumbs
    Offline

    Two Thumbs Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2010
    Messages:
    33,450
    Thanks Received:
    5,786
    Trophy Points:
    1,140
    Location:
    Where ever I go, there I am.
    Ratings:
    +11,589
    'Member when we were boys, and when we made a mess and didn't want to clean it up, our moms would tell us;

    "When you own a house of your own, you can leave your stuff out anywhere you like."

    How'd that work out?
     
  8. Granny
    Offline

    Granny Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2009
    Messages:
    3,121
    Thanks Received:
    785
    Trophy Points:
    200
    Location:
    Rocky Top, TN
    Ratings:
    +1,255
    :lol:
     
  9. Mad Scientist
    Offline

    Mad Scientist Deplorable Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2008
    Messages:
    23,940
    Thanks Received:
    5,212
    Trophy Points:
    270
    Ratings:
    +7,683
    Men lead, women follow.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  10. percysunshine
    Offline

    percysunshine Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2011
    Messages:
    16,713
    Thanks Received:
    2,261
    Trophy Points:
    280
    Location:
    Sty
    Ratings:
    +5,872
    ...cautiously...chuckle
     

Share This Page