When do you know you're a Democrat?

[txlonghorn]

When do you know you're a Democrat?

1. When you believe that we can change the climate by driving a Prius.

2. When you think that the rich are greedy, evil and should take care of the poor.

3. When you look at Obama with glazed eyes and no matter what he does, you think it's devine.

4. When you're sitting on the fence looking like a crow with your mouth open waiting for your welfare check.

5. You know you're a Democrat when you want government to keep taxing the businesses to a point were they move out of the country. You lose your job and you can't figure out why.

6. You know you're a Democrat when morals are not important to you and anything goes.

7. You're a Democrat when you support partial birth abortion but willing to let murderers go free.

8. You're a Democrat when you believe that America is broken and you want to trash the Constitution and become a socialist country like Europe.

9 You're a Democrat when you blame everything on Bush. You're compelled to use his name more than once in a sentence.

10. You're a Democrat when your news source is MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, NPR, PBS... NY Times ....Huffington Post....move on dot.org....many more.

11. If you are Black (ok...African American) and you are gay......most likely you are a Democrat.

mostly agree except for morals.

conservatives don't have any morals.

democrats like abortions but republicans like bombing Iraqi children.

same shit bitch !

Yeah...not so much... You're suggesting that we set up clinics over there in Iraq and invite the women to come in and allow us to abort their unborn babies for the sake of convenience. Democrats don't like abortions nearly as much as they like controlling the population. And abortion is a GREAT way to do that. Just think how many less humans there would be in America if we opened up abortion clinics all over the place? Just like getting a haircut! It won't hurt and when it's all over, you can go back out and sleep around until you need another one and come back in. They can even start handing out those punch cards where you get your card punched after each one and when you've gotten 9 punches, the 10th one is FREE!!!!

 

[Brn2bfree]

For those of you who call yourselves Moderates.

I like to sum things up...

You're either a liberal or a conservative....

Those who say they are moderates....they are actually liberals who are embarrassed to be mixed with the Democrats. They lick their fingers and put it in the air to see which way the political wind is blowing. They don't want to upset anybody.

 

[Harry Dresden]

For those of you who call yourselves Moderates.

I like to sum things up...

You're either a liberal or a conservative....

Those who say they are moderates....they are actually liberals who are embarrassed to be mixed with the Democrats. They lick their fingers and put it in the air to see which way the political wind is blowing. They don't want to upset anybody.

so your saying there is no middle?....no one can have some liberal and conservative leanings?.....no lib can have a conservative view on things and vice-versa?.....

 

[txlonghorn]

For those of you who call yourselves Moderates.

I like to sum things up...

You're either a liberal or a conservative....

Those who say they are moderates....they are actually liberals who are embarrassed to be mixed with the Democrats. They lick their fingers and put it in the air to see which way the political wind is blowing. They don't want to upset anybody.

so your saying there is no middle?....no one can have some liberal and conservative leanings?.....no lib can have a conservative view on things and vice-versa?.....

I think you got it right. So by that logic, you could argue the same in racial terminology. You're either black or white...African or American ... So which is Obama? Liberal or conservative, white or black...African or American?

 

[JBeukema]

For those of you who call yourselves Moderates.

I like to sum things up...

You're either a liberal or a conservative....

Those who say they are moderates....they are actually liberals who are embarrassed to be mixed with the Democrats. They lick their fingers and put it in the air to see which way the political wind is blowing. They don't want to upset anybody.

Are you really that stupid, or do you just troll on the internet?

 

[mattskramer]

You Might Be A Republican If...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

You answer to "The Man."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

 

[rdking647]

i actually voted for bush in 2000. befor 2004 i always voted GOP. but bush changed ll that between his unnecessary war in Iraq,his holding Jose Padilla without trial and alot of the other bullshit from the GOP i switched to the dems. Afetr watching the GOP hysteria since the election I cant see ever going back

i dont believe YOU either

you may not believe me,thats your choice and I hve no way of convincing you but it is a fact.

 

[editec]

When do you know you're a Democrat?

1. When you believe that we can change the climate by driving a Prius.

No, it takes WALKING in BERKENSTOCKS to really change the climate

2. When you think that the rich are greedy, evil and should take care of the poor.

No, it's when you think that the rich are rich because of the make people poor, silly man.

3. When you look at Obama with glazed eyes and no matter what he does, you think it's devine.

No, those are the Obamacrats.

4. When you're sitting on the fence looking like a crow with your mouth open waiting for your welfare check.

You've obviously never been to Northern Maine where the most stunch Republicans loyalist are all on welfare.

5. You know you're a Democrat when you want government to keep taxing the businesses to a point were they move out of the country. You lose your job and you can't figure out why.

No that makes you a DEMOCRATIC member of Congress, and you don't lose your job.

6. You know you're a Democrat when morals are not important to you and anything goes.

Were that true, I'd still be a DEM.

7. You're a Democrat when you support partial birth abortion but willing to let murderers go free.

Yawn.

8. You're a Democrat when you believe that America is broken and you want to trash the Constitution and become a socialist country like Europe.

I was hoping this DEM trashing might be original and funny.

9 You're a Democrat when you blame everything on Bush. You're compelled to use his name more than once in a sentence.

Wrong. Dems blame things of Reagan, too.

10. You're a Democrat when your news source is MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, NPR, PBS... NY Times ....Huffington Post....move on dot.org....many more.

Yeah, those damned reading Dems think they're so smart.

11. If you are Black (ok...African American) and you are gay......most likely you are a Democrat.

Or a Republican Congressman who hasn't yet been caught cruising in public bathrooms.

 

[Harry Dresden]

You Might Be A Republican If...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

You answer to "The Man."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

pretty piss poor attempt at what your trying to do....what barrel did you scrape?

 

[HUGGY]

i actually voted for bush in 2000. befor 2004 i always voted GOP. but bush changed ll that between his unnecessary war in Iraq,his holding Jose Padilla without trial and alot of the other bullshit from the GOP i switched to the dems. Afetr watching the GOP hysteria since the election I cant see ever going back

i dont believe YOU either

you may not believe me,thats your choice and I hve no way of convincing you but it is a fact.

What the groups that came together as neo cons within the republican party fail to recognise is that they have failed desicively in thier mission. They started as a fevered wing of a steady sober political stallwart and grew into a rabid disease that displaced the brains and brawn of the operation. From nixon forward there was a growing repugnace by the comon republican toward some of the leaders. That distaste has become the biggest problem for the neo cons or "new conservatives". Now they have learned that the "silent majority" is like the tree falling in the forest and no one hears..because no one is there..no one is listening..because they have killed the party ...and no one cares.

 

[txlonghorn]

i dont believe YOU either

you may not believe me,thats your choice and I hve no way of convincing you but it is a fact.

What the groups that came together as neo cons within the republican party fail to recognise is that they have failed desicively in thier mission. They started as a fevered wing of a steady sober political stallwart and grew into a rabid disease that displaced the brains and brawn of the operation. From nixon forward there was a growing repugnace by the comon republican toward some of the leaders. That distaste has become the biggest problem for the neo cons or "new conservatives". Now they have learned that the "silent majority" is like the tree falling in the forest and no one hears..because no one is there..no one is listening..because they have killed the party ...and no one cares.

And that opinion ladies and gentlemen is how you know you are a full blown democrat.

 

[mattskramer]

You Might Be A Republican If...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

You answer to "The Man."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

pretty piss poor attempt at what your trying to do....what barrel did you scrape?

Opinions are like asses. Everyone has one. Thanks for showing yours.

 

[Brn2bfree]

For those of you who call yourselves Moderates.

I like to sum things up...

You're either a liberal or a conservative....

Those who say they are moderates....they are actually liberals who are embarrassed to be mixed with the Democrats. They lick their fingers and put it in the air to see which way the political wind is blowing. They don't want to upset anybody.

so your saying there is no middle?....no one can have some liberal and conservative leanings?.....no lib can have a conservative view on things and vice-versa?.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Correct.
You have light, medium and heavy.... both flavors ..Liberal or Conservatives...

The further Obama pushes us towards socialism and cap and trade con ...the further Right I get pushed!!

 

[Harry Dresden]

You Might Be A Republican If...

You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.

You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two"

You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.

You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"

You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.

You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.

You think Huey Newton is a cookie.

The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.

You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.

You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.

You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."

You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.

You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches."

You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school."

You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."

You answer to "The Man."

You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.

You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."

You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."

You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."

When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."

You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."

You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969.

You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.

Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.

You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.

You've ever said civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties.

You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."

You've ever called education a luxury.

You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.

You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.

You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.

You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.

You're afraid of the liberal media."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.

You confuse Lenin with Lennon.

pretty piss poor attempt at what your trying to do....what barrel did you scrape?

Opinions are like asses. Everyone has one. Thanks for showing yours.

you showed yours before i showed mine with that pathetic attempt at whatever it is you were trying to do....at least the Dem list had some stuff that was debatable....but thanks for the attempt....

 

[Harry Dresden]

For those of you who call yourselves Moderates.

I like to sum things up...

You're either a liberal or a conservative....

Those who say they are moderates....they are actually liberals who are embarrassed to be mixed with the Democrats. They lick their fingers and put it in the air to see which way the political wind is blowing. They don't want to upset anybody.

so your saying there is no middle?....no one can have some liberal and conservative leanings?.....no lib can have a conservative view on things and vice-versa?.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Correct.
You have light, medium and heavy.... both flavors ..Liberal or Conservatives...

The further Obama pushes us towards socialism and cap and trade con ...the further Right I get pushed!!

your not making any sense...i asked...."so your saying there is no middle?"....you said CORRECT....and yet you give 3 flavors....the light has got to be in the middle for both sides....and both "lights" will overlap with their views....

 

[Soaring]

" Texas Fight, Texas Fight, and we'll put over one more win. Texas Fight, Texas Fight.......... etc." That's a song I learned while playing in the Longhorn band. You guys quit fussing and let's talk politics here. Hook 'em Horns.......

There's not much of a middle road left anymore. Obama is not concerned about bipartisanship because he has the democratic side of the house and Senate sewed up. I just wish more democratic Senators will vote NO on this cap and trade engergy bill, The dumb assed house passed it, but marginally.

 

[KittenKoder]

so your saying there is no middle?....no one can have some liberal and conservative leanings?.....no lib can have a conservative view on things and vice-versa?.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Correct.
You have light, medium and heavy.... both flavors ..Liberal or Conservatives...

The further Obama pushes us towards socialism and cap and trade con ...the further Right I get pushed!!

your not making any sense...i asked...."so your saying there is no middle?"....you said CORRECT....and yet you give 3 flavors....the light has got to be in the middle for both sides....and both "lights" will overlap with their views....

Brn doesn't seem to comprehend what the "middle" is, I wonder if he even believes in Independents?

 

[Harry Dresden]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Correct.
You have light, medium and heavy.... both flavors ..Liberal or Conservatives...

The further Obama pushes us towards socialism and cap and trade con ...the further Right I get pushed!!

your not making any sense...i asked...."so your saying there is no middle?"....you said CORRECT....and yet you give 3 flavors....the light has got to be in the middle for both sides....and both "lights" will overlap with their views....

Brn doesn't seem to comprehend what the "middle" is, I wonder if he even believes in Independents?

i understand what he is saying about the 3 flavors....if the "heavy" is the far right and left....then the "light" has to be what i would call the Conservative Dems and the Liberal Repubs,who would be smack dab in the middle,and whose views are not that far apart.....

 

[immto]

Funny List. Mostly Stereo Types but funny non the less. I think Most of those symptoms of the larger problem.

 

[Freedomlover]

You know you are a Democrat when you want government to control aspects of your life from cradle to grave, and somehow think that is going to make it better.