What would you do?

[Ray9]

I struggled about where to put this.

My wife has a sister that is 62 years old. She is a chronic, textbook alcoholic. She had a male partner about the same age that was also alcohol addicted. He dropped dead about five years ago. She has been living alone way up in the sticks and has a job as a computer technition at a medical center. She lived in California for decades but wore our her welcome in the state. Her reputation was so bad that she was on a do not hire list.


When I say an alcoholic I mean clinically to the point of being blind drunk every night. She has some friends a few miles away that had a dinner on Labor Day and she went to their house on a four-wheeler on a dirt road. She left plastered and crashed the four-wheeler destroying her right leg to the point that she has pins in it from her heel to her hip. She had to be airlifted to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center by helicopter. Luckily someone saw her in the road and called an ambulance.

They were supposed to remove the pins today but decided to wait a week. Unbelievably, the hospital is going to release her until they remove the pins. She wants my wife to pick her up and bring her to her house where she can get more booze.

My wife talked to someone at the hospital to make sure it was an official decision and apparently it was. She cannot walk or get around by herself and my wife works. I want my wife to call that hospital and make it clear what the situation is. What would you do?

 

[miketx]

I don't know, though decision. But whatever I did she would have to agree to no drinking.

 

[1srelluc]

Just put her in a rehab facility, it's about $300 a day.

 

[occupied]

You can't do anything with a chronic booze hound until they make the choice to quit. It's the tragedy of addiction. The best you can do is to be there when they finally hit rock bottom and talk to them in that brief moment of vulnerable lucidity.

 

[Ray9]

Just put her in a rehab facility, it's about $300 a day.

She does have insurance through her job that might cover that but she talked my wife into going to get her. I just had it out with my wife over it and she agrees that is a very bad idea for her to go home and stay alone.

 

[okfine]

I struggled about where to put this.

My wife has a sister that is 62 years old. She is a chronic, textbook alcoholic. She had a male partner about the same age that was also alcohol addicted. He dropped dead about five years ago. She has been living alone way up in the sticks and has a job as a computer technition at a medical center. She lived in California for decades but wore our her welcome in the state. Her reputation was so bad that she was on do not hire list.


When I say an alcoholic I mean clinically to the point of being blind drunk every night. She has some friends a few miles away that had a dinner on Labor Day and she went to their house on a four-wheeler on dirt road. She left plastered and crashed the four-wheeler destroying her right leg to the point that she has pins in it from her heel to her hip. She had to be airlifted to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center by helicopter. Luckily someone saw her in the road and called an ambulance.

They were supposed to remove the pins today but decided to wait a week. Unbelievably, the hospital is going to release her until they remove the pins. She wants my wife to pick her up and bring her to her house where she can get more booze.

My wife talked to someone at the hospital to make sure it was an official decision and apparently it was. She cannot walk or get around by herself and my wife works. I want my wife to call that hospital and make it clear what the situation is. What would you do?

If she is a drunk, and has pins in her leg (fractured) only for one week, I can't imagine she would be healed enough to remove "pins" in that short amount of time.

Do you work? Maybe you should step up.

 

[occupied]

She does have insurance through her job that might cover that but she talked my wife into going to get her. I just had it out with my wife over it and she agrees that is a very bad idea for her to go home and stay alone.

I don't have any specific advice for you other than to say that an addiction is like a third person in the room if you are talking to them. It can speak far more loudly and convincingly than you can. Until she is ready for a change you simply have to choose if you want to put up with it or not.

 

[Ray9]

If she is a drunk, and has pins in her leg (fractured) only for one week, I can't imagine she would be healed enough to remove "pins" in that short amount of time.

Do you work? Maybe you should step up.

We went to visit her yesterday. Now that I think of it she manipulated us. She knows she has insurance but if she heals too slowly it might take weeks for her to have surgery. She has no children or anyone who can take care of her 24-7 which is what she needs. She knows a nursing home is not going to give her a ride to a liquor store or let her smoke.

It would be a death sentence for her to go to her house in that condition. My wife is going to talk to a doctor there tomorrow.

 

[Anomalism]

Do you work? Maybe you should step up.

Prick.

 

[Godboy]

I struggled about where to put this.

My wife has a sister that is 62 years old. She is a chronic, textbook alcoholic. She had a male partner about the same age that was also alcohol addicted. He dropped dead about five years ago. She has been living alone way up in the sticks and has a job as a computer technition at a medical center. She lived in California for decades but wore our her welcome in the state. Her reputation was so bad that she was on a do not hire list.


When I say an alcoholic I mean clinically to the point of being blind drunk every night. She has some friends a few miles away that had a dinner on Labor Day and she went to their house on a four-wheeler on a dirt road. She left plastered and crashed the four-wheeler destroying her right leg to the point that she has pins in it from her heel to her hip. She had to be airlifted to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center by helicopter. Luckily someone saw her in the road and called an ambulance.

They were supposed to remove the pins today but decided to wait a week. Unbelievably, the hospital is going to release her until they remove the pins. She wants my wife to pick her up and bring her to her house where she can get more booze.

My wife talked to someone at the hospital to make sure it was an official decision and apparently it was. She cannot walk or get around by herself and my wife works. I want my wife to call that hospital and make it clear what the situation is. What would you do?

Dont buy her alcohol since she cant get it herself right now. Of course if she is really bad, she could die if she goes cold turkey, believe it or not. Better keep your eye on her the first two days.

 

[Dekster]

I struggled about where to put this.

My wife has a sister that is 62 years old. She is a chronic, textbook alcoholic. She had a male partner about the same age that was also alcohol addicted. He dropped dead about five years ago. She has been living alone way up in the sticks and has a job as a computer technition at a medical center. She lived in California for decades but wore our her welcome in the state. Her reputation was so bad that she was on a do not hire list.


When I say an alcoholic I mean clinically to the point of being blind drunk every night. She has some friends a few miles away that had a dinner on Labor Day and she went to their house on a four-wheeler on a dirt road. She left plastered and crashed the four-wheeler destroying her right leg to the point that she has pins in it from her heel to her hip. She had to be airlifted to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center by helicopter. Luckily someone saw her in the road and called an ambulance.

They were supposed to remove the pins today but decided to wait a week. Unbelievably, the hospital is going to release her until they remove the pins. She wants my wife to pick her up and bring her to her house where she can get more booze.

My wife talked to someone at the hospital to make sure it was an official decision and apparently it was. She cannot walk or get around by herself and my wife works. I want my wife to call that hospital and make it clear what the situation is. What would you do?

Tell her to go to a nursing home for rehab

 

[Ray9]

Dont buy her alcohol since she cant get it herself right now. Of course if she is really bad, she could die if she goes cold turkey, believe it or not. Better keep your eye on her the first two days.

Tell her to go to a nursing home for rehab

You just read my mind and I think we are both right.

 

[johngaltshrugged]

I struggled about where to put this.

My wife has a sister that is 62 years old. She is a chronic, textbook alcoholic. She had a male partner about the same age that was also alcohol addicted. He dropped dead about five years ago. She has been living alone way up in the sticks and has a job as a computer technition at a medical center. She lived in California for decades but wore our her welcome in the state. Her reputation was so bad that she was on a do not hire list.


When I say an alcoholic I mean clinically to the point of being blind drunk every night. She has some friends a few miles away that had a dinner on Labor Day and she went to their house on a four-wheeler on a dirt road. She left plastered and crashed the four-wheeler destroying her right leg to the point that she has pins in it from her heel to her hip. She had to be airlifted to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center by helicopter. Luckily someone saw her in the road and called an ambulance.

They were supposed to remove the pins today but decided to wait a week. Unbelievably, the hospital is going to release her until they remove the pins. She wants my wife to pick her up and bring her to her house where she can get more booze.

My wife talked to someone at the hospital to make sure it was an official decision and apparently it was. She cannot walk or get around by herself and my wife works. I want my wife to call that hospital and make it clear what the situation is. What would you do?

That's what voicemail is for.
Most addicts have to hit rock bottom before stopping & nothing can change this.
It might be hard but letting her deal with consequences on her own might be the way to stop her self destruction. Propping her up at this point could just enable her further

 

[okfine]

We went to visit her yesterday. Now that I think of it she manipulated us. She knows she has insurance but if she heals too slowly it might take weeks for her to have surgery. She has no children or anyone who can take care of her 24-7 which is what she needs. She knows a nursing home is not going to give her a ride to a liquor store or let her smoke.

It would be a death sentence for her to go to her house in that condition. My wife is going to talk to a doctor there tomorrow.

If she is ambulatory, that is a challenge. Depending on her insurance it may take a while to Ok any care.

Manipulating or not she will need help. At least 2 weeks. Her assessment by the staff at hospital should include advice on short-term care. If getting her some drink puts her in check, give it to her. Don't forget, She's still sick with alcoholism.

 

[okfine]

Prick.

Wouldn't you step up and help a family member, or are you just a prick in general?

 

[Ray9]

I am just glad this did not happen during the Covid panic. That would have been a curveball that was unhittable.

 

[Ray9]

Oh by the way, let me describe the pins in her legs. They are not inside and stitched up. They go through her legs and stick out on each side about 6 inches. They go all the way up her leg from her heel to her hip. That leg must have been shattered. She needs to be regularly injected with antibiotics to prevent infection. I find it extremely odd that the hopital or the doctors would even entertain her release to her home in that condition.

I agree that alcoholism is a medical condition and Should be treated as such but killing a person with kindness is a bad choice on the part of family members and in my opinion negligence on the part of a hospital.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

If she is a drunk, and has pins in her leg (fractured) only for one week, I can't imagine she would be healed enough to remove "pins" in that short amount of time.

Do you work? Maybe you should step up.

You should probably reread the post.
And do you actually think the docs would remove the pins in one weeks time?

 

[okfine]

Oh by the way, let me describe the pins in her legs. They are not inside and stitched up. They go through her legs and stick out on each side about 6 inches. They go all the way up her leg from her heel to her hip. That leg must have been shattered. She needs to be regularly injected with antibiotics to prevent infection. I find it extremely odd that the hopital or the doctors would even entertain her release to her home in that condition.

I agree that alcoholism is a medical condition and Should be treated as such but killing a person with kindness is a bad choice on the part of family members and in my opinion negligence on the part of a hospital.

She has an external fixation, I believe. Tibia and fibula fractures. I had that "halo" on my leg for 3 months. Then an internal fixation fitted with 5 screws and still in me. It's permanent.

Taking away the alcohol may do her in. Drunks can be irrational. And mean. And nasty. Good luck.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

I don't have any specific advice for you other than to say that an addiction is like a third person in the room if you are talking to them. It can speak far more loudly and convincingly than you can. Until she is ready for a change you simply have to choose if you want to put up with it or not.

Yep...it's one thing to be a functional alcoholic,it's another when it affects those around you.
It's the very reason I no longer speak to my brother,his drunken antics have cost the Wife and I thousands.
He just kept getting worse and we finally told him to kindly fuck off after he robbed my mother blind.