IndependntLogic
Senior Member
- Jul 14, 2011
- 2,997
- 399
- 48
My daughter asked me about that. There were a lot of things so I told
her the most gratifying - which was still pretty funny.
About a thousand years ago, I was approached by one of the biggest
recruiting firms in the country to start and develop a legal division
for them, nationwide. I had my own firm and wasn't a big fan of big
Corporate America but they made lots of lovely promises about how I
could do things my way, how they had never laid people off etc... and
kept sweetening the pie until I said Okey Dokey. We broke all kinds of
records and were having a great time when the Dot Bombs and then 9/11
etc... hit.
So the Exec V.P. contacted the head of the IT Division and said he
wanted to meet with her - over 50 miles from her office. They had lunch and
then he told her she had to fire 40% of her staff and take a cut /
demotion. She quit & he replaced her with a junior person who was less
expensive - which was obviously his intent all along.
Then he did this with the head of the Health Care division. Same thing
with the Accounting division.
Then he called me and told me he wanted me to drive from San Diego to
L.A. (His office and where he lived) and meet at 4pm on a Friday. I told
him No Can Do. Says in my contract, I never have to risk being late to
pick up my daughter from daycare. He was pissed. So I offered to meet
him in Southern Orange Country / Northern San Diego - about 30 miles from my office and
maybe 70 or 80 from his. He knew I'd never make it to daycare on time
but he didn't care because he was going to force me to quit anyway.
At 4:30pm on that FRIDAY, he calls me, wondering why I'm late. I pick up the phone
say hello a couple times and then hang up. He calls back again. I yell
"If you can hear me, bad cell reception - try me in about 15 mintues
should be clear!" and hang up again.
He calls me at 5 and this is the conversation:
"Fred it's Greg."
"Oh Greg! Oh hell that's right! We were going to do something
today, weren't we?"
(VERY Irritated) "Fred where the hell ARE you?!?!"
(Irritatingly cheerful voice) "I'm golfing Greg (which I really am) but you'll be glad to
know it's with a couple of clients I've had for years. I'm trying to
convince them that things will be the same if they come over to Big Corporate America with me! Hold on just a sec, it's my turn." (I set phone down next to my golf ball
so he can hear me hit it. Then hold phone up so he can hear my friends say "Nice shot!")
(Greg's yelling now) "Fred, this meeting was MANDATORY. I made that clear. I
had you repeat it back to me. Now I'm almost a hundred miles from home
at rush hour on a Friday and you're telling me you're GOLFING?!?!"
(Even more irritatingly cheerful) "Greg, I'm not just golfing, I'm two
below par! Oh shit, hold on a sec, I've got a tricky putt here."
"Wait Fred! Don't set the phone down. (starts yelling) Fred! Fred! Fred!"
(I pick up phone and cut him off in stern voice) "Greg I don't know if you're aware of it but you really need to be quiet when I'm taking my shots. Tell you what, we'll be at the 9th
hole in about 10 minutes. I'll call you then." Then I hang up.
Phone rings and I pick it up and say "I SAID I'D CALL YOU BACK IN A
FEW MINUTES!" and hang up again and turn off my phone. My friends and
I are laughing our asses off at this point. We hit the 9th hole and I
call Greg.
"Hello"
"Yeah Greg, about your little meeting, I'm probably not gonna make it.
I mean, if I had come all the way.." (Cuts me off)
"Goddam it. We had a mandatory meeting and now I'm at the Hungry
Hunter in Escondido at 5:15. Now you look here, you.." (My turn to cut
him off)
"Shut the fuck up you fat asshole!" (Shocked silence) "Good. Now, call
the San Diego office. Tell Phil to go into my office and read the note
I left there. It will explain everything." Then I hang up and turn my
phone off.
From what I gather, Greg was about to burst and called Phil at the San Diego
office before he left the restaurant. Phil wasn't sure what to do (young guy) so when Greg told him to read the note, he did exactly as instructed. It read:
Greg:
I heard about what you did to Anthony, Susan and Julie.(the other bosses who were fired) I don't know if it's a power trip or if you're just a sadistic sonofabitch who gets
off on making people drive 50 to 100 miles to get fired but I'm not playing. Well, I'm not playing that game but as you know by now, I AM playing golf. Phil will verify
my desk is empty the keys are in my top drawer. I've been talking with
all the clients I brought with me when i came on board and guess what?
They're leaving with me too.
Enjoy your ride home and just know that you can kiss my ass you fat fuck.
Hugs & Kisses,
Fred
I made sure a few of my clients would continue working with Phil until
I hired him away from that company a few months later. My nephew was
also working for them in the IT department. They said the story of me
leaving Greg hanging with a three hour ride home was all over the
company within days. It WAS pretty fun and funny!
So what was your funniest or funnest work thing?
her the most gratifying - which was still pretty funny.
About a thousand years ago, I was approached by one of the biggest
recruiting firms in the country to start and develop a legal division
for them, nationwide. I had my own firm and wasn't a big fan of big
Corporate America but they made lots of lovely promises about how I
could do things my way, how they had never laid people off etc... and
kept sweetening the pie until I said Okey Dokey. We broke all kinds of
records and were having a great time when the Dot Bombs and then 9/11
etc... hit.
So the Exec V.P. contacted the head of the IT Division and said he
wanted to meet with her - over 50 miles from her office. They had lunch and
then he told her she had to fire 40% of her staff and take a cut /
demotion. She quit & he replaced her with a junior person who was less
expensive - which was obviously his intent all along.
Then he did this with the head of the Health Care division. Same thing
with the Accounting division.
Then he called me and told me he wanted me to drive from San Diego to
L.A. (His office and where he lived) and meet at 4pm on a Friday. I told
him No Can Do. Says in my contract, I never have to risk being late to
pick up my daughter from daycare. He was pissed. So I offered to meet
him in Southern Orange Country / Northern San Diego - about 30 miles from my office and
maybe 70 or 80 from his. He knew I'd never make it to daycare on time
but he didn't care because he was going to force me to quit anyway.
At 4:30pm on that FRIDAY, he calls me, wondering why I'm late. I pick up the phone
say hello a couple times and then hang up. He calls back again. I yell
"If you can hear me, bad cell reception - try me in about 15 mintues
should be clear!" and hang up again.
He calls me at 5 and this is the conversation:
"Fred it's Greg."
"Oh Greg! Oh hell that's right! We were going to do something
today, weren't we?"
(VERY Irritated) "Fred where the hell ARE you?!?!"
(Irritatingly cheerful voice) "I'm golfing Greg (which I really am) but you'll be glad to
know it's with a couple of clients I've had for years. I'm trying to
convince them that things will be the same if they come over to Big Corporate America with me! Hold on just a sec, it's my turn." (I set phone down next to my golf ball
so he can hear me hit it. Then hold phone up so he can hear my friends say "Nice shot!")
(Greg's yelling now) "Fred, this meeting was MANDATORY. I made that clear. I
had you repeat it back to me. Now I'm almost a hundred miles from home
at rush hour on a Friday and you're telling me you're GOLFING?!?!"
(Even more irritatingly cheerful) "Greg, I'm not just golfing, I'm two
below par! Oh shit, hold on a sec, I've got a tricky putt here."
"Wait Fred! Don't set the phone down. (starts yelling) Fred! Fred! Fred!"
(I pick up phone and cut him off in stern voice) "Greg I don't know if you're aware of it but you really need to be quiet when I'm taking my shots. Tell you what, we'll be at the 9th
hole in about 10 minutes. I'll call you then." Then I hang up.
Phone rings and I pick it up and say "I SAID I'D CALL YOU BACK IN A
FEW MINUTES!" and hang up again and turn off my phone. My friends and
I are laughing our asses off at this point. We hit the 9th hole and I
call Greg.
"Hello"
"Yeah Greg, about your little meeting, I'm probably not gonna make it.
I mean, if I had come all the way.." (Cuts me off)
"Goddam it. We had a mandatory meeting and now I'm at the Hungry
Hunter in Escondido at 5:15. Now you look here, you.." (My turn to cut
him off)
"Shut the fuck up you fat asshole!" (Shocked silence) "Good. Now, call
the San Diego office. Tell Phil to go into my office and read the note
I left there. It will explain everything." Then I hang up and turn my
phone off.
From what I gather, Greg was about to burst and called Phil at the San Diego
office before he left the restaurant. Phil wasn't sure what to do (young guy) so when Greg told him to read the note, he did exactly as instructed. It read:
Greg:
I heard about what you did to Anthony, Susan and Julie.(the other bosses who were fired) I don't know if it's a power trip or if you're just a sadistic sonofabitch who gets
off on making people drive 50 to 100 miles to get fired but I'm not playing. Well, I'm not playing that game but as you know by now, I AM playing golf. Phil will verify
my desk is empty the keys are in my top drawer. I've been talking with
all the clients I brought with me when i came on board and guess what?
They're leaving with me too.
Enjoy your ride home and just know that you can kiss my ass you fat fuck.
Hugs & Kisses,
Fred
I made sure a few of my clients would continue working with Phil until
I hired him away from that company a few months later. My nephew was
also working for them in the IT department. They said the story of me
leaving Greg hanging with a three hour ride home was all over the
company within days. It WAS pretty fun and funny!
So what was your funniest or funnest work thing?
