What does Allah say about short penises?

Discussion in 'Middle East - General' started by Comrade, Jan 11, 2005.

  1. Comrade
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    Comrade Senior Member

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    Holy crap, this is just about the funniest thing I’ve read this year so far. It’s one thing to think about the ridiculous standards of Islam, but to know these people take all this quite seriously is like watching a train wreck… deeply troubling but fascinating nonetheless.

    Considering the site is for English speaking Muslims, I expect that the majority of these questions come from the so-called moderates who live in the West. I imagine the arabic sites probably have a vast mine of whoppers even more amazing.

    So Grand Mufti, tell me:

    But it’ll sure get you some funny looks on the bus!

    So the swoosh is now a religious symbol? BOW TO NIKE, YE UNBELIEVERS!

    Is it possible that monkeys will fly out of my ass? Well sure, with a few operations and some genetic tampering, you’ll see! Allah’s will be done.

    Somebody tell this guy what he really wants her to get pierced… the tounge baby!

    So the mouth and the tounge piercing are still a go, right??? (please please please Allah!)

    I hear the suicide bombers are hiring.

    Yeah, but if he likes guys, he likes guys. Whether he does something about it or not, he is STILL gay. I guess Allah just hates homosexuals for who they are (his own creation).

    Well that’s pretty unfunny. And rude enough to convince them properly, I guess. But not exactly a diplomatic move for promoting Islam!

    Really? What if I only took an inch off the top?

    Of course that’s why I had to cut off the damn huge thing in the first place, now it makes a nice bookstand to rest the Koran on.

    Can I still use the LA Times to wipe my bung hole?

    What if my dire need is to get laid? Can I whistle at a woman?

    How do you ‘wear’ pants below the ankles? I think he means ‘gangster style’, although how Mohammad saw that one coming a mellinium before gangsters, style, and pants themselves is beyond me!
    The only sin I see is this guys English.

    A quik spit polish is good enough for me!

    That’s just … eeeeewww!

    But it will still make YOU go blind, filthy sinner!

    Via Blog Quebecois
     
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  2. insein
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    insein Senior Member

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    that is pretty god damn hillarious. :cof:
     
  3. Comrade
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    Comrade Senior Member

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    Man alive, I mean I don't even have to try to make fun of this website. I did a random fatwa and came up with this gem.

    http://islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=12208

    What it is with the Imman and his fascination with wearing pants around the ankles anyway?

    Well that sounds all nice until we get around to asking why women have their clitoris cut off in Islam... and that's NOT defacing nature?

    But more importantly, WHAT ABOUT THE TROUSERS?

    So litterally, Allah says my trousers (or at least the cuff part) will burn in HELL! :dev1: I always hated wearing them, anyway.


    Find a random fatwa for yourself if you want some true wackiness...
     
  4. Comrade
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    Comrade Senior Member

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    Nice. Real nice.
     
  5. Comrade
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    Comrade Senior Member

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    :wtf:
     
  6. Comrade
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    Comrade Senior Member

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    I guess that explains this guy...

    http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,11647273^1702,00.html
     
  7. Comrade
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    Comrade Senior Member

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    :fu2:

    This is true Islam, then? Of course if it sounds like my enemy it certainly can't be the REAL Islam of Peace and Tolerance like we hear about.

    It's interesting to note this post occurred before 9-11... I guess since then OBL changed his tune and the weaseling Immans have gone underground with this utter bullshit about 'him being innocent'... hard to claim now that Osama has admitted himself he was just fooling the infidels about how innocent he was.

    And edited out of course are all the questions since 9-11 about the war on terror especially regarding brother Osama.
     
  8. Comrade
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    Comrade Senior Member

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    I've got a stupid idea... how about NOT becoming a US citizen and living in a Sharia hell-hole instead. That's what ya want, right? No, you want ALL OF US to live in a Sharia nightmare.
     
  9. Comrade
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    Comrade Senior Member

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    A vaginal fart... I believe the technical term is a QWEEF.
     
  10. Zhukov
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    Zhukov VIP Member

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    Actaully I believe that particular comment stems from the old British occupation of the Middle East and the belief that we are England's enforcer, taking over where they left of. There are those in the Middle East who believe England is actually still in charge of us.

    At least I think that is to what he's referring.

    Ismaic fundamentalists hate the English alot more than I think most people in the U.K. understand.
     
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