Disir
Platinum Member
- Sep 30, 2011
- 28,003
- 9,609
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I am running into problems with this. My kid is not allowed to date until the age of 16 and that is a maybe.
There are two kids that are really sweet kids. One is 13 and one is 14 and I have known them for a several years and they are both BFF with my kid. Initially, I was unwilling to play chaperon because I was not going to be involved in these kids sneaking around. Then, I learned that their parents have no problem with them dating. The kids are often driven to a meet up place by one or the other parent like.......the park. My kid has been asked to go with and the girl brings along a girlfriend.
I shut that down with my kid only--because it's my kid and I can do that and we are not getting roped into that kind of drama if one or both parents come to the conclusion that they take it to far- and there is some question on myself as a parent allowing it. But it gets worse.
My kids grandmother thinks the group thing is okie dokie. I have flat out told her I am not even going to go there.
I think there might be a misconception that if they are going out in a group then nothing is going to happen. They may actually be ok with whatever may happen. I don't know. I don't want to disrespect them with their parenting. It's not my place.
So, here is the problem. Yesterday my son wanted to put together a little shindig for Halloween. So, we went to the store and grabbed some snacks and stuff. At this time there was one boy that was coming to hang out and pass out candy. Said grandmother has decided to make sure that nothing goes awry because I have to work. Within 10 minutes both sweet kids plus one other girl are on their way over by invitation approved by and with said grandmother. She was kind of rude about it like this is her decision to make because she will be chaperoning. I am not a happy woman but I have to go.
Where is the grandmother? In another room watching tv. Where are the kids? Watching a "scary movie" and the two really sweet kids are on the couch sucking face. So, after bringing this to the attention of said grandmother I tell her that this is not cool and this is why I don't allow this to even go there and especially if I am not there.
I'm not pissed at the kids. I'm a little pissed at the adults and furious with myself.
I'm thinking........chaperoning is not just being present. It's being in the mix. The more present you are the less likely that a kid "experimenting" is going to be opening up the bottle of vodka that he or she stole from the parent or uncle or whatever. Secondly, if it's ok for your kids to date at that level then we got to set some ground rules like.......there is a time and a place for everything and that time and place is not ok in someone's house.
On top of this, there have been 13 year old girls texting my kid about wanting to have sex with him. So, perhaps this has become acceptable and if that is someone's parenting style that's fine. It's fine providing they are texting some other parent's kid. What age are you guys allowing your kids to date?
There are two kids that are really sweet kids. One is 13 and one is 14 and I have known them for a several years and they are both BFF with my kid. Initially, I was unwilling to play chaperon because I was not going to be involved in these kids sneaking around. Then, I learned that their parents have no problem with them dating. The kids are often driven to a meet up place by one or the other parent like.......the park. My kid has been asked to go with and the girl brings along a girlfriend.
I shut that down with my kid only--because it's my kid and I can do that and we are not getting roped into that kind of drama if one or both parents come to the conclusion that they take it to far- and there is some question on myself as a parent allowing it. But it gets worse.
My kids grandmother thinks the group thing is okie dokie. I have flat out told her I am not even going to go there.
I think there might be a misconception that if they are going out in a group then nothing is going to happen. They may actually be ok with whatever may happen. I don't know. I don't want to disrespect them with their parenting. It's not my place.
So, here is the problem. Yesterday my son wanted to put together a little shindig for Halloween. So, we went to the store and grabbed some snacks and stuff. At this time there was one boy that was coming to hang out and pass out candy. Said grandmother has decided to make sure that nothing goes awry because I have to work. Within 10 minutes both sweet kids plus one other girl are on their way over by invitation approved by and with said grandmother. She was kind of rude about it like this is her decision to make because she will be chaperoning. I am not a happy woman but I have to go.
Where is the grandmother? In another room watching tv. Where are the kids? Watching a "scary movie" and the two really sweet kids are on the couch sucking face. So, after bringing this to the attention of said grandmother I tell her that this is not cool and this is why I don't allow this to even go there and especially if I am not there.
I'm not pissed at the kids. I'm a little pissed at the adults and furious with myself.
I'm thinking........chaperoning is not just being present. It's being in the mix. The more present you are the less likely that a kid "experimenting" is going to be opening up the bottle of vodka that he or she stole from the parent or uncle or whatever. Secondly, if it's ok for your kids to date at that level then we got to set some ground rules like.......there is a time and a place for everything and that time and place is not ok in someone's house.
On top of this, there have been 13 year old girls texting my kid about wanting to have sex with him. So, perhaps this has become acceptable and if that is someone's parenting style that's fine. It's fine providing they are texting some other parent's kid. What age are you guys allowing your kids to date?