The Bacon Tree Two Mexicans, who had been lost in the desert for weeks, were at death's door. As they stumbled on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spied through the heat and haze, a tree, off in the distance. As they get closer, they began to make out that the tree was draped with bacon. There was smoked bacon, crispy bacon, juicy nearly-raw bacon, bacon of all sorts. "Hey, Pepe," cried Don Pedro, "ees a bacon tree! We are saved!" "You're right, amigo!" said Pepe as he ran on ahead and running up to the tree, salivating at the prospect of food. When he got to within five feet of the tree, the sound of machine gun fire erupted and down he went in a hail of bullets. Don Pedro quickly dropped down on the sand and called out to his dying friend, "Pepe! Pepe! Que pasa hombre?" With his dying breath, Pepe called out, "Run amigo, run! Ees not a bacon tree! Ees a ham bush!"