Article 15
Dr. House slayer
- Jul 4, 2008
- 24,673
- 4,916
- 183
He's fine.
He didn't even go to the hospital.
Stop panicking people.
He didn't even go to the hospital.
Stop panicking people.
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He's fine.
He didn't even go to the hospital.
Stop panicking people.
New England Patriots
Strength: Bill Belichick has avoided stealing any wives recently, so he should be focused on the 2010 season; people are sure to tout the Patriots' experience and maturity as opposed to flat-out calling them old
Weakness: Considering the talent of this year's rookie class, it's a shame that Belichick will once more work one of them until he dies
Intangibles: Can't discount the possibility of another horrific injury to quarterback Tom Brady; oh, please, Lord, let there be another horrific injury to Tom Brady
Biggest Question: This may be the year New England finally falls out of contention, but we know full well these fucks will pull a 12-4 season out of their ass somehow
He got hurt?
Is he on the Red Sox roster?
New England Patriots
Strength: Bill Belichick has avoided stealing any wives recently, so he should be focused on the 2010 season; people are sure to tout the Patriots' experience and maturity as opposed to flat-out calling them old
Weakness: Considering the talent of this year's rookie class, it's a shame that Belichick will once more work one of them until he dies
Intangibles: Can't discount the possibility of another horrific injury to quarterback Tom Brady; oh, please, Lord, let there be another horrific injury to Tom Brady
Biggest Question: This may be the year New England finally falls out of contention, but we know full well these fucks will pull a 12-4 season out of their ass somehow
Hey!
Strength: Just nice to see them outside getting some fresh air
Weakness: As a team, every single player on this roster fucking sucks
Player To Watch: Quarterback Jason Campbell is an experienced loser and is not going to mope around and act all depressed when team loses eight or nine straight games
Biggest Question: If Tom Cable isn't fired during or after the season, will Al Davis get rid of him by drowning him in the Gatorade container?
New England Patriots
Strength: Bill Belichick has avoided stealing any wives recently, so he should be focused on the 2010 season; people are sure to tout the Patriots' experience and maturity as opposed to flat-out calling them old
Weakness: Considering the talent of this year's rookie class, it's a shame that Belichick will once more work one of them until he dies
Intangibles: Can't discount the possibility of another horrific injury to quarterback Tom Brady; oh, please, Lord, let there be another horrific injury to Tom Brady
Biggest Question: This may be the year New England finally falls out of contention, but we know full well these fucks will pull a 12-4 season out of their ass somehow
Hey!
Dallas Cowboys
Strength: Yes, there are positives, but reading them will only make you angry and listing them will only make us angry
Weakness: Other than being the most infuriating, knuckle-whitening, I-want-to-throw-a-brick-through-my-television-set-when-I-watch-them team in the league, are a little weak at free safety
Intangibles: Fuck the Dallas Cowboys and every fucking thing they stand for; special teams
Biggest Question: Can they finally get over the hump and get back to the Super Bowl, and do they know how much that would depress the entire U.S. populace?
Better?
New England Patriots
Strength: Bill Belichick has avoided stealing any wives recently, so he should be focused on the 2010 season; people are sure to tout the Patriots' experience and maturity as opposed to flat-out calling them old
Weakness: Considering the talent of this year's rookie class, it's a shame that Belichick will once more work one of them until he dies
Intangibles: Can't discount the possibility of another horrific injury to quarterback Tom Brady; oh, please, Lord, let there be another horrific injury to Tom Brady
The South Carolina Gamecocks have a better chance of getting to a Super Bowl before the Dallas Cowboys.
Biggest Question: This may be the year New England finally falls out of contention, but we know full well these fucks will pull a 12-4 season out of their ass somehow
Hey!
Dallas Cowboys
Strength: Yes, there are positives, but reading them will only make you angry and listing them will only make us angry
Weakness: Other than being the most infuriating, knuckle-whitening, I-want-to-throw-a-brick-through-my-television-set-when-I-watch-them team in the league, are a little weak at free safety
Intangibles: Fuck the Dallas Cowboys and every fucking thing they stand for; special teams
Biggest Question: Can they finally get over the hump and get back to the Super Bowl, and do they know how much that would depress the entire U.S. populace?
Better?
He's fine.
He didn't even go to the hospital.
Stop panicking people.
In other irrelevant news, here's Marsha Brady