The State is my shepherd, I shall not want. It makes me lie down in federally owned pastures. ... It leads me beside quiet waters in banned fishing areas. It restores my soul through its control. It guides me in the path of dependency for its namesake. Even though our nation plunges into the valley of the shadow of debt, I will fear no evil, For Barack will be with me. The Affordable Care Act and food stamps, They comfort me. You prepare a table of Michelle Obama approved foods before me in the presence of my Conservative and Libertarian enemies. You anoint my head with hemp oil; My government regulated 16-ounce cup overflows. Surely mediocrity and an entitlement mentality will follow me All the days of my life, And I will dwell in a low-rent HUD home forever and ever.