Sometimes it's lonely being a divorced man

[Blackrook]

We were together since I was 18 and she was 17, but last year we divorced.

Sometimes it's lonely, because there's no longer this other person to watch TV with, talk with, go to dinner with, see movies with.

We still do occasionally do things together, we're still friends, but mostly I am alone.

My son still lives with me, but he spends most of his time in his room playing computer games.

 

[BulletProof]

Sorry to hear....

My advice: Get involved in lots of things.

 

[Care4all]

is she alone too? no dating?

 

[Blackrook]

is she alone too? no dating?

She's living with another man.

 

[Gracie]

Sorry, blackrook.
Take yourself to dinner some night. Might find a lady sitting by herself. Another great place to meet women is the grocery store..or the library. Don't do the bar hop scene, though.

 

[Blackrook]

I still sleep on the right side of the bed, as if she's going to come in one night and take the other side.

 

[Gracie]

I still sleep on the right side of the bed, as if she's going to come in one night and take the other side.

Stop that. Immediately. You are only prolonging it.

 

[Care4all]

is she alone too? no dating?

She's living with another man.

why don't you try to win her back? She ain't married to him... Are you able to forgive? Is she able to forgive? nothing ventured, nothing gained....give it a shot! Don't beg though...just be the interesting, 'other guy'....

 

[aaronleland]

I sometimes get lonely. So I masturbate a lot.

 

[BulletProof]

why don't you try to win her back? She ain't married to him... Are you able to forgive? Is she able to forgive? nothing ventured, nothing gained....give it a shot! Don't beg though...just be the interesting, 'other guy'....

When women leave, they should be written off. Women might like to watch shows about relationships, but relative to men, women aren't as interested in preserving relationships.

 

[Chuz Life]

We were together since I was 18 and she was 17, but last year we divorced.

Sometimes it's lonely, because there's no longer this other person to watch TV with, talk with, go to dinner with, see movies with.

We still do occasionally do things together, we're still friends, but mostly I am alone.

My son still lives with me, but he spends most of his time in his room playing computer games.

I'm sorry man. . . .

Get over her if you can. . . at least enough to move on. More than likely, you will still have feelings for her, even if / when you find someone else.

I did for my first "love" anyway.

Then, she died on me before I could ever even dream of second chances.

At least you have your son and occasional encounters with yours. be grateful for what you have in that.

 

[BULLDOG]

No wonder you're such a whiny bitch.

 

[Tilly]

No wonder you're such a whiny bitch.

He isn't. But you are one MEAN and NASTY 'man'.

 

[Tilly]

We were together since I was 18 and she was 17, but last year we divorced.

Sometimes it's lonely, because there's no longer this other person to watch TV with, talk with, go to dinner with, see movies with.

We still do occasionally do things together, we're still friends, but mostly I am alone.

My son still lives with me, but he spends most of his time in his room playing computer games.

So sorry to hear that Blackrook
Maybe it's time for some hobbies that take you out meeting people?
Do you have a dog? (No I'm not joking)

 

[Tilly]

is she alone too? no dating?

She's living with another man.

why don't you try to win her back? She ain't married to him... Are you able to forgive? Is she able to forgive? nothing ventured, nothing gained....give it a shot! Don't beg though...just be the interesting, 'other guy'....

She's living with another man. That sounds serious.
So Sounds like a bad idea to me.

 

[gipper]

Happened to a close friend of mine in his early 50s. After he got over the divorce, he signed up to a dating website. Dated dozens of women in a very short time and found his new wife. He would meet them for coffee and if he liked them, would continue. He said if they bitched about their ex in the first 5 minutes, he was done with them.

 

[usmbguest5318]

As a not lonely at all middle-aged widower, my advice is this:

1. Get fit and become a "DILF" -- IME, the key to middle-aged social "success" on a personal-companionship level starts with this.
2. Do a "deep cleansing" facial every three weeks for three months then switch to a "maintenance" facial once a month thereafter.
3. "Wash that grey right outta your hair" -- Grocery store method or salon method, makes no difference which.
4. Do regular manicures and pedicures -- DIY or salon version; makes no difference which.

Do all that and you'll be fit, youthful looking, and well groomed, and in turn, unless you have absolutely no "game" (that's really hard to "do" as middle aged guy or gal) you will not be lonely anymore. Why?

• Young women find hot and fit middle-aged guys preferable to many guys their own age.
• Middle-aged women swoon over understated and confident guys their age who look like fit twenty-to-thirty-something guys

Succinctly: everybody likes nicely wrapped gifts.

While you're in the process of getting "DILF-fit," get out of the house and go to places where the women you like tend to be and where you are interested in being for one reason or another. For me, that means conferences, lectures, symposia, art openings, the clubs (social and fitness) to which I belong, fundraisers, performing arts events, certain sporting events, and swanky bars. Whatever places you and they like are the right places for you. A divorced acquaintance of mine likes bowling and the loud rock and roll nightclubs one finds on Sunset Blvd.

The point is that to find companionship, one must be social and socially desirable. To do the first, one just needs to get out more. Getting fit and well groomed makes one look socially desirable and one's "game" is what confirms that one indeed is.

How long will it take to get "nicely wrapped?" Well that depends on where one is when one starts. For the typical somewhat pudgy middle-aged dude who is "balls to wall" serious about reaching "DILF-level wrapping," it'll take about eight months. So if one starts now and does the aerobics, weight training and very strictly adheres to a diet designed to complement the objective of "looking great naked," come summer when it's time to hit the beach, one is very likely to be just fine.

Just as a point of reference, what's "DILF-level?" It's fit, but not ultra-fit like a collegiate athlete. Trying to think of a celebrity whom one might have heard of and who is 50-something, Ian Ziering (mid-50s) or Sean Penn come to mind as what one will look like in about two years, and Dennis Quaid is about what a typical middle-aged guy who started tomorrow can expect come this summer. (What do I mean by "typical middle-aged guy" fitness level? Bruce Springsteen as seen here.)


Biggest challenges one'll face in getting "DIlF-fit":

• Sticking to the diet it'll take to make it happen.
• Maximizing the benefits of weight training without injuring oneself.

To get maximum results, I suggest working five days a week with a personal trainer. I know of one "celebrity grade" trainer who doesn't charge "celebrity grade" fees. (Reply in the thread to this post that you want to know who it is, and I'll PM with a link to his website.)

One doesn't have to work with a trainer (and it's hard to find excellent ones), but a trainer will make a huge difference with the weight training and general body strengthening parts of a fitness regimen. Also, an excellent trainer will develop a diet plan -- including caloric intake quantities, ratio of fat, carb and protein -- for you and take you to a grocery store and teach you how to shop so you can choose foods you like to eat and that work with the diet plan. All the information one needs for the diet is on the WWW, but one must find it oneself and make sense of it and figure out how to apply it to one's own situation and goals. (There's a reason we like experts. It's no different with fitness.)

One other huge benefit to getting "DILF-fit," in addition to helping one's social life, it'll do wonders for one's health, which, with rising healthcare/insurance costs and old age being "just over the horizon," is well worth doing now because it's very hard to "get fit" when one is in fact old.

 

[RodISHI]

We were together since I was 18 and she was 17, but last year we divorced.

Sometimes it's lonely, because there's no longer this other person to watch TV with, talk with, go to dinner with, see movies with.

We still do occasionally do things together, we're still friends, but mostly I am alone.

My son still lives with me, but he spends most of his time in his room playing computer games.

Solitude can be very lonely at times. Sounds like you may have been very close to your wife previously. Not sure what I would do without Rod as he has been my best friend for well over thirty years. During those tough times I tried to keep busy with learning and doing things I had always wanted to try. I did things like sculpting, went to a professional who was retired to learn how they made molds, did lots of reading, built garden areas, wrote all sorts of stuff about memories and experiences as I searched my own heart. Rod told a friend of his that was having a hard time getting past his wife leaving him after twenty years that went to be with another person, "Just remember my old friend if you love her so much another would also love her for those same reasons. Can you blame them? Keep that which is good in your heart as life goes forward and try not to let hate, bitterness or revenge enter in. Keep that good heart of yours intact and don't do anything you might regret later. God bless you". His friend wrote him back a few years later and told him that was the best advice he had ever received.

 

[Blackrook]

Thank you for all your advice.

 

[Chuz Life]

Thank you for all your advice.

U bet