bitterlyclingin
Silver Member
- Aug 4, 2011
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[Semi News, Semi Satire.
Princess Lieawatha Fauxcahontas, the original proponent of the "You didn't build that" theory of economic development wants to look to Communist China for inspirational help rebuilding the American Economy. Now just how would she go about incorporating Mao's basic premise that "All power emanates from the barrel of a gun?"
Princess, did you forget about "High cheekbones"? After all they helped you with your degrees and your Havahd Professorship. That eminent University by the Charles just keeps scoffing up the awards as it marches on, the first for its study proving that attendance at Independence Day parades tends to make honest hard working Americans vote (Gasp!) Republican, the second for the faculty response to its then President Larry Summers thinking out of the box remark that real anatomical and physiological differences accounted for the achievement gap in some fields between males and females which the faculty immediately responded to in a yet still unexplained manner of having their lower lips start quivering, hyperventilating, running bizarrely in circles, and screaming for airplane vomit bags, and now getting totally snookered by a pretend Indian both as a student and faculty applicant.
Poor Harvard.]
"Elizabeth Warren, the Massachusetts Democratic candidate for the US Senate seat currently held by Republican Scott Brown unleashed a new campaign ad pledging to make America more like China if she’s elected.
“In America, the economy is chaotic,” the ad read. “The authority for the government to plan and manage the economy is limited. Practically anyone can do pretty much as he or she wants. There is no requirement for obtaining government approval before scarce resources are put at risk.”
“In China, the government synchronizes investments,” the ad continued. “No one can risk the nation’s precious resources without first securing government permission. Losses and bankruptcy have been outlawed.”
“Your choice this November is between Republican anarchy and Democratic order,” the ad concluded. “Please choose wisely. The future depends upon it.”
While some have called the ad “creepy” and “ominous,” Warren sees it as “a stark and honest portrayal of what’s at stake in this year’s election. Look at the progress China has made. Their economy is growing three times faster than ours. They’ve got a government that isn’t afraid to make tough decisions. We, on the other hand, are bogged down in loud, contentious, and continuous debates with our reactionary opponents.”
As an example of China’s superior decision making, Warren cited the “one-child-per-family” rule. “Can you imagine our government taking such a bold stroke?” Warren asked. “Telling people how many kids they can have takes balls. Once you get over that hump there’s nothing you can’t do. Telling people to pay more taxes would be a snap. Banning privately owned cars, outlawing fossil fuels, moving everyone into high-density housing—all the things we know about how people should live could be implemented with minimal hassle.”"
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News « The Constitution Club
Princess Lieawatha Fauxcahontas, the original proponent of the "You didn't build that" theory of economic development wants to look to Communist China for inspirational help rebuilding the American Economy. Now just how would she go about incorporating Mao's basic premise that "All power emanates from the barrel of a gun?"
Princess, did you forget about "High cheekbones"? After all they helped you with your degrees and your Havahd Professorship. That eminent University by the Charles just keeps scoffing up the awards as it marches on, the first for its study proving that attendance at Independence Day parades tends to make honest hard working Americans vote (Gasp!) Republican, the second for the faculty response to its then President Larry Summers thinking out of the box remark that real anatomical and physiological differences accounted for the achievement gap in some fields between males and females which the faculty immediately responded to in a yet still unexplained manner of having their lower lips start quivering, hyperventilating, running bizarrely in circles, and screaming for airplane vomit bags, and now getting totally snookered by a pretend Indian both as a student and faculty applicant.
Poor Harvard.]
"Elizabeth Warren, the Massachusetts Democratic candidate for the US Senate seat currently held by Republican Scott Brown unleashed a new campaign ad pledging to make America more like China if she’s elected.
“In America, the economy is chaotic,” the ad read. “The authority for the government to plan and manage the economy is limited. Practically anyone can do pretty much as he or she wants. There is no requirement for obtaining government approval before scarce resources are put at risk.”
“In China, the government synchronizes investments,” the ad continued. “No one can risk the nation’s precious resources without first securing government permission. Losses and bankruptcy have been outlawed.”
“Your choice this November is between Republican anarchy and Democratic order,” the ad concluded. “Please choose wisely. The future depends upon it.”
While some have called the ad “creepy” and “ominous,” Warren sees it as “a stark and honest portrayal of what’s at stake in this year’s election. Look at the progress China has made. Their economy is growing three times faster than ours. They’ve got a government that isn’t afraid to make tough decisions. We, on the other hand, are bogged down in loud, contentious, and continuous debates with our reactionary opponents.”
As an example of China’s superior decision making, Warren cited the “one-child-per-family” rule. “Can you imagine our government taking such a bold stroke?” Warren asked. “Telling people how many kids they can have takes balls. Once you get over that hump there’s nothing you can’t do. Telling people to pay more taxes would be a snap. Banning privately owned cars, outlawing fossil fuels, moving everyone into high-density housing—all the things we know about how people should live could be implemented with minimal hassle.”"
SEMI-NEWS: A Satire of Recent News « The Constitution Club
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