Important scientists are on up in arms. Patricia Brennan is one. Her ground breaking duck penis study could not have been possible without tax payer money. (“ $384,949 from the National Science Foundation, a grant that was funded through the 2009 stimulus package.”) And now her chance to sink her teeth into Killer Whale penises may be at risk. She joined the recent Earth Day protest to raise awareness about the threat that GOP misers are to vital science things. If they get their way, she will be unable to continue her plan to explore ever more diverse and sundry penises and to then pretend that these penises hold social truths for humankind. In her in-depth duck penis study, Brennan concluded that ducks are of the rape culture. It has something to do with their corkscrew penis. It was God’s design that the male duck’s curved penis fits into the female duck’s curved vagina? Phooey. According to the learned Brennan, male ducks repeatedly have sex with female ducks because they are typical rapist males. spb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/277/1686/1309.short http://freebeacon.com/issues/taxpayer-funded-duck-penis-researcher-now-studying-whale-penises/ Fight the war against spending cuts! Brennan’s fondling needs funding! After all, “there is no real premise to her new research on Orca penises. "Just the fact that we just don't know what we're going to find is so exciting,"" gushes Brennan. We mustn’t stand in the way of critical scientific whatnot that stems from Brennan’s penis exams. Don’t let them stop the flow of tax money for important science stuff! This past weekend, many concerned deep thinkers and true science believers were on the march. (That sense of déjà vu is not your imagination. Their message was just as on pointless as was that women’s march a couple months ago.) “The idea to create a march was inspired by the 2017 Women's March of January 21, 2017, and originated from a discussion in Reddit. The organization created a Facebook group, which grew from 200 members to 300,000 in less than a week. Individual scientists have both applauded and criticized this development.” "The March for Science (formerly known as the Scientists' March on Washington) was a series of rallies and marches held in Washington, D.C., and more than 600 other cities across the world on Earth Day, April 22, 2017. According to organizers, the march is a non-partisan movement to celebrate science and the role it plays in everyday lives. The goals of the marches and rallies were to emphasize that science upholds the common good and to call for evidence-based policy in the public's best interest.” March for Science - Wikipedia Clear as can be, isn’t it? Even that famous science guy says so. As our penis researcher might say, science is just super.