- Sep 22, 2013
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This is a Wall Street horror-parody inspired by the film Leprechaun.
Signing off (Happy Halloween),
====
A Wall Street couple (Lisa and Evans) decided to take a vacation in a cabin in the woods in the Poconos just to get away from it all. They didn't know they were in for an eye-opening experience. This isn't a comedic story.
A psycho named Morton (a young man from Algeria) often wore head-gear and gloves and eccentric clothing and accessories to make himself look like some kind of 'vigilante-prophet.' Morton even went by the alias 'Sackhead' (since he sometimes wore a completely face-covering sack-mask). Sackhead was a fanatic about censorship and consumerism and pornography in the age of Wall Street and MTV and wanted the 'right couple' from New York to scare. Sackhead was a real weirdo.
Well, as Lisa and Evans settled into their nice little cabin in the Poconos in October, just to get away from their Wall Street bureaucratic lives if only for a while, Sackhead followed them. It was Lisa who noticed him first, while she was taking stock of the cabin's amenities as Evans was away doing some grocery-shopping. Sackhead wore a brown suit and one of his characteristic sack-masks. Lisa was terrified.
As if things could not get stranger, as Sackhead tied Lisa to the dining room table chair, waiting for her boyfriend Evans to arrive (so he could tie him up too), there was a knock on the door. Sackhead ordered Lisa to answer the door, so he untied her but warned her not to say anything. When Lisa got up and did as Sackhead commanded and scurried to the door to open it, she saw an even stranger individual. This fellow seemed to be a transvestite dressed as an impish evil leprechaun, claiming to be a Satanist and messenger of consumerism candies for Halloween October. Sackhead told Lisa to let the leprechaun enter.
SACKHEAD: Why are you dressed like an impish leprechaun?
LEPRECHAUN: Why do you have a sack-mask?
SACKHEAD: I asked you first...
LEPRECHAUN: Well, I have this bag of home-made dollar-shaped candy.
SACKHEAD: I suppose this is some 'Satanic humor.'
LEPRECHAUN: Yes, it is!
SACKHEAD: What's your message?
LEPRECHAUN: I dare you to eat this candy in my bag.
SACKHEAD: I see; so you want me to 'test' if I trust a 'Satanic leprechaun.'
LEPRECHAUN: Exactly; I mean, does consumerism make us biased towards Christianity?
SACKHEAD: This is the stupidest religious protest-gimmick I've seen.
LEPRECHAUN: Maybe it's simple/basic, but do you accept the challenge?
SACKHEAD: No, I do not; and it's because you might be a lunatic, not a Satanist.
LEPRECHAUN: Well, I assure you I'm a Satanist, but I see you're more 'objective' about candy.
SACKHEAD: Yes, I am; I worry you're just some idiot claiming to make some 'Satanic protest.'
LEPRECHAUN: If you eat just one candy from my bag, I'll give you a Richie Rich play-dollar.
SACKHEAD: That's a deal! I love Richie Rich. Alright; I'll eat one candy; then you must leave.
LEPRECHAUN: Deal...
Sackhead ate the one piece of candy and escorted 'Leprechaun' out. He then tied up Lisa again and waited for her boyfriend Evans to return to the cabin. As Lisa and Sackhead waited, Lisa asked him why Sackhead was terrorizing them and what he thought of 'Leprechaun' Sackhead explained he wanted to 'play with' two Wall Street yuppies and that 'Leprechaun' reminded him how strange new age fortune-related 'messengers' (e.g., Enron, Greenspan) made capitalism feel like sloth. Just then, Sackhead grabbed his stomach in pain and dropped to the floor and died. Lisa realized that Leprechaun's candy was poisoned. When Evans got home and saw the bizarre scene and untied Lisa, she explained everything and the two of them fled. While they were driving home, Lisa told Evans, "Maybe Wall Street attracts charlatans! Maybe we should change our profession!"
THE END
====
Signing off (Happy Halloween),
====
A Wall Street couple (Lisa and Evans) decided to take a vacation in a cabin in the woods in the Poconos just to get away from it all. They didn't know they were in for an eye-opening experience. This isn't a comedic story.
A psycho named Morton (a young man from Algeria) often wore head-gear and gloves and eccentric clothing and accessories to make himself look like some kind of 'vigilante-prophet.' Morton even went by the alias 'Sackhead' (since he sometimes wore a completely face-covering sack-mask). Sackhead was a fanatic about censorship and consumerism and pornography in the age of Wall Street and MTV and wanted the 'right couple' from New York to scare. Sackhead was a real weirdo.
Well, as Lisa and Evans settled into their nice little cabin in the Poconos in October, just to get away from their Wall Street bureaucratic lives if only for a while, Sackhead followed them. It was Lisa who noticed him first, while she was taking stock of the cabin's amenities as Evans was away doing some grocery-shopping. Sackhead wore a brown suit and one of his characteristic sack-masks. Lisa was terrified.
As if things could not get stranger, as Sackhead tied Lisa to the dining room table chair, waiting for her boyfriend Evans to arrive (so he could tie him up too), there was a knock on the door. Sackhead ordered Lisa to answer the door, so he untied her but warned her not to say anything. When Lisa got up and did as Sackhead commanded and scurried to the door to open it, she saw an even stranger individual. This fellow seemed to be a transvestite dressed as an impish evil leprechaun, claiming to be a Satanist and messenger of consumerism candies for Halloween October. Sackhead told Lisa to let the leprechaun enter.
SACKHEAD: Why are you dressed like an impish leprechaun?
LEPRECHAUN: Why do you have a sack-mask?
SACKHEAD: I asked you first...
LEPRECHAUN: Well, I have this bag of home-made dollar-shaped candy.
SACKHEAD: I suppose this is some 'Satanic humor.'
LEPRECHAUN: Yes, it is!
SACKHEAD: What's your message?
LEPRECHAUN: I dare you to eat this candy in my bag.
SACKHEAD: I see; so you want me to 'test' if I trust a 'Satanic leprechaun.'
LEPRECHAUN: Exactly; I mean, does consumerism make us biased towards Christianity?
SACKHEAD: This is the stupidest religious protest-gimmick I've seen.
LEPRECHAUN: Maybe it's simple/basic, but do you accept the challenge?
SACKHEAD: No, I do not; and it's because you might be a lunatic, not a Satanist.
LEPRECHAUN: Well, I assure you I'm a Satanist, but I see you're more 'objective' about candy.
SACKHEAD: Yes, I am; I worry you're just some idiot claiming to make some 'Satanic protest.'
LEPRECHAUN: If you eat just one candy from my bag, I'll give you a Richie Rich play-dollar.
SACKHEAD: That's a deal! I love Richie Rich. Alright; I'll eat one candy; then you must leave.
LEPRECHAUN: Deal...
Sackhead ate the one piece of candy and escorted 'Leprechaun' out. He then tied up Lisa again and waited for her boyfriend Evans to return to the cabin. As Lisa and Sackhead waited, Lisa asked him why Sackhead was terrorizing them and what he thought of 'Leprechaun' Sackhead explained he wanted to 'play with' two Wall Street yuppies and that 'Leprechaun' reminded him how strange new age fortune-related 'messengers' (e.g., Enron, Greenspan) made capitalism feel like sloth. Just then, Sackhead grabbed his stomach in pain and dropped to the floor and died. Lisa realized that Leprechaun's candy was poisoned. When Evans got home and saw the bizarre scene and untied Lisa, she explained everything and the two of them fled. While they were driving home, Lisa told Evans, "Maybe Wall Street attracts charlatans! Maybe we should change our profession!"
THE END
====
