S&M: Loose-Tooth vs. Nose-Picking

[Abishai100]

Here's a mock dialogue about sado-masochism between Krishna (Hindu god of negotiation) and Shiva (Hindu god of destruction).


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KRISHNA: Have you seen the S&M-crime films Se7en and 8mm?
SHIVA: Yes, they're very unusual and stark in their presentation of gore and graphic criminality.
KRISHNA: There's something in nature that draws us towards the 'parading of pain.'
SHIVA: When we play with our loose-tooth (since there is only mild pain), we're 'daring' fate!
KRISHNA: There's an odd 'pleasure' to the pain.
SHIVA: When we pick our noses, we're 'fooling' with our imagination.
KRISHNA: There's an odd 'hygiene' to self-destruction.
SHIVA: A man is turned off when he sees a woman pick her nose.
KRISHNA: A woman is turned off when he sees a man sticking his finger in his ear.
SHIVA: That must be because pleasure-pain contouring (e.g., S&M) is a very private experience.
KRISHNA: Why are people more ashamed of being nude in public than picking their noses in private?
SHIVA: That must be because there is no physical sensation associated with being nude (so it's all spiritual).
KRISHNA: This is the sort of 'analysis' involved with da Vinci's The Vitruvian Man.
SHIVA: Yes, and I think it reveals the natural appeal of deformity films such as The Silence of the Lambs.
KRISHNA: I like how Garbage Pail Kids trading-cards symbolize 'deformity imagination.'
SHIVA: Satanism and Occultism is considered by many to be a form of S&M.
KRISHNA: That's because non-mainstream religions represent 'private anguish.'
SHIVA: Do you think the Devil picks his nose or plays with his loose tooth?
KRISHNA: Ha. In the film Manhunter, a serial-killer is given the alias, 'The Tooth-Fairy.'
SHIVA: I'm a big fan of mimes --- they signify an appreciation of physical comedy.
KRISHNA: People today sit for hours staring at computers and typing on keyboards in the same posture.
SHIVA: Maybe nose-picking can prevent Rigor-mortis...

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[Abishai100]

Project Mayhem


Here's a mock dialogue about the Smithsonian Institution between Magneto and Professor X (Marvel Comics):

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MAGNETO: I like this 'crusade' of anarchy presented in the Ayn Rand allusory film Fight Club.
PROFESSOR X: Yes, the 'crusade' is referred to as 'Project Mayhem.'
MAGNETO: It's the modern urban bureaucracy claustrophobia related 'pedestrian unrest' presentation.
PROFESSOR X: In other words, the Unabomber...
MAGNETO: Well, it doesn't praise the Unabomber *explicitly*.
PROFESSOR X: No, but there are sufficient subliminal messages (e.g., male aggression).
MAGNETO: The disgruntled postal-worker is the modern Iago (Shakespeare).
PROFESSOR X: Iago was a natural cynic.
MAGNETO: Well, this incendiary urban guerilla maniac 'Tyler Durden' from Fight Club is a natural terrorist.
PROFESSOR X: Why do you like anarchism?
MAGNETO: There's something interestingly 'S&M' about anarchism.
PROFESSOR X: Anarchy or anarchism? I think American youngsters might start a 'water-gun' crusade.
MAGNETO: A big 'Go to Hell!' to the 'Gods of Consumerism,' eh?
PROFESSOR X: People get tired of Burger King and eBay.
MAGNETO: The Smithsonian Institution is so valuable --- it caters to a natural fascination with 'hand-on' science.
PROFESSOR X: If you get caught picking your nose at the Smithsonian, your wife will say, "Freak!"
MAGNETO: In other words, all disgruntled postal-workers should go to the Smithsonian to meditate...
PROFESSOR X: It would be more intelligent than 'youthful terrorism.'

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