Running on Empty...

[Mr. H.]

... at 65 MPH

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJYRtOPUonA]YouTube - Jackson Browne 1977 Running on Empty[/ame]

 

[Zoom-boing]

You took what while you were driving???

 

[Mr. H.]

You took what while you were driving???

Of course.

Zoom zoom.

I've coasted to gas stations before LOL.

 

[hortysir]

YouTube - Brett Michaels Introduces "I Can't Drive 55" Sammy Hagar Top 100 Rock Songs

 

[Mr. H.]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuEdU_lrtZk]YouTube - Kramer test drives car on Seinfeld[/ame]

 

[Mr. H.]

So about 10 years ago, I'm heading home in my old S-10 at night. Got about an hour drive ahead of me. I noticed I was low on gas and made a mental note to to get $5 worth- enough for the trip (plus that's all I had in my pocket).

Spotted a liquor store and got me a 6 pack then back on the road forgetting about the gas situation.

Truck dies on the highway at the base of a hill, so I figured if I pushed it backwards onto a flat gravel driveway and rock the truck I can get enough to the carburator to make it over the hill to the next station.

Slipped it into neutral, got out, and gave it a push while guiding the steering wheel.
Sure enough I tripped and fell flat on my back. Looked up just in time to see the open door ready to smack me in the head. Layed flat on my back and thought "wow- that was close".
Looked to my right and saw the front tire miss my head by inches. "Wow- that was close".
Stood up in time to watch the truck coasting back down the road, flatten a street marker, and land in the ditch.

 

[Zoom-boing]

When I was nineteen and driving my dad's, then my brother's and now my '66 Chrysler New Yorker I ran out of gas literally right down the street from the station. I was headed there and the car just died. A cop happened to drive by and I thought 'oh good he can help'. Yeah, right. He said there wasn't anything he could do and left. Asshole. So I walked to the gas station and talked to the cute guy, borrowed something and put some gas in it and headed back to the car. Problem was the car was on an incline and whatever I had put the gas in wasn't cooperating. Half the gas poured down the side of the car but I did get enough in to get the car to the station and fill it up.

Now? Whenever that dang fuel light comes on I'm convinced that I'm going to run out of gas like NOW and have to go get gas immediately. What a wimp.

 

[hortysir]

So about 10 years ago, I'm heading home in my old S-10 at night. Got about an hour drive ahead of me. I noticed I was low on gas and made a mental note to to get $5 worth- enough for the trip (plus that's all I had in my pocket).

Spotted a liquor store and got me a 6 pack then back on the road forgetting about the gas situation.

Truck dies on the highway at the base of a hill, so I figured if I pushed it backwards onto a flat gravel driveway and rock the truck I can get enough to the carburator to make it over the hill to the next station.

Slipped it into neutral, got out, and gave it a push while guiding the steering wheel.
Sure enough I tripped and fell flat on my back. Looked up just in time to see the open door ready to smack me in the head. Layed flat on my back and thought "wow- that was close".
Looked to my right and saw the front tire miss my head by inches. "Wow- that was close".
Stood up in time to watch the truck coasting back down the road, flatten a street marker, and land in the ditch.

Did ya save the beer???

 

[Mr. H.]

So about 10 years ago, I'm heading home in my old S-10 at night. Got about an hour drive ahead of me. I noticed I was low on gas and made a mental note to to get $5 worth- enough for the trip (plus that's all I had in my pocket).

Spotted a liquor store and got me a 6 pack then back on the road forgetting about the gas situation.

Truck dies on the highway at the base of a hill, so I figured if I pushed it backwards onto a flat gravel driveway and rock the truck I can get enough to the carburator to make it over the hill to the next station.

Slipped it into neutral, got out, and gave it a push while guiding the steering wheel.
Sure enough I tripped and fell flat on my back. Looked up just in time to see the open door ready to smack me in the head. Layed flat on my back and thought "wow- that was close".
Looked to my right and saw the front tire miss my head by inches. "Wow- that was close".
Stood up in time to watch the truck coasting back down the road, flatten a street marker, and land in the ditch.

Did ya save the beer???

Well, the reply is a bit self-incriminating. Since I'd already disposed of three, I chucked the rest as far into the woods as I could throw them. Flagged down a pickup and the two guys happened to have a chain with them and got me out of the ditch.

 

[hortysir]

THEN you went and got the beers back, right??

 

[Mr. H.]

THEN you went and got the beers back, right??

If I made sure the cops couldn't find 'em I sure as hell couldn't.

Here's another classic - although I didn't run out of gas:

Got really pissed off at the Mrs. one night, so I hopped in the car and made a stop at the liquor store on the way to my favorite get-drunk spot in the country. Just sat and nursed a 6 pack while listening to CD's and cooling off.

On the way home, I missed my turn so put the car in reverse and backed onto a gravel side road to turn around. Missed the road and backed into a ditch.

There I am at 2am, the Lincoln Continental at a 45 degree angle and I'm going nowhere. Cllimbed out of the door and up the ditch and started hoofing it 4-1/2 miles home in total darkness. Paved country roads, no traffic, and a thunderstorm brewing.

So I'm about a mile from home when I passed the neighbor's house with two mean as hell pit bulls. I figured I was downwind and if I was real quiet I just might pass them without incident.

Then I heard it... *tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-tick*!

It was the sound of those dogs' nails on the pavement - and they were coming fast. I couldn't see a damn thing and there was no way I was going to outrun them. So I turned in their direction and yelled "NO- STOP- LAY DOWN- GO HOME".

Silence.

Made it home and passed out on the couch.

Morning: Wife gets up and notices my car gone and me on the couch. She's got to get her kid to school so I ask how I'm supposed to get to town. "I'll call mom and she'll come out and get you".

Two hours later- no mother in law. Then it dawned on me that the wife's route took her right by that Lincoln- nose up at 45 degrees.

Called a tow truck, got the car home, and the wife didn't talk to me for 3 days.

The End.