Random jokes

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Yurt, Jul 19, 2004.

  1. Yurt
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    Yurt Gold Member

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    Bear in Bar

    A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears in bars.''
    The bear replies, ''If you don't give me a beer, I'll eat that lady over there.''

    The bartender says, ''Go ahead.''

    So the bear eats the lady and asks for a beer. The bartender says, ''Sorry, we don't give beer to bears on drugs.''

    ''What do mean,'' says the bear. ''I'm not on drugs.''

    ''Yes, you are, that was the barbituate

    ________________________________
    JOB INTERVIEW

    Boudreaux went into the fish market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself - I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun, so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

    The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

    Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees.

    The boss says, "What in the world is that?"

    Boudreaux says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine."

    "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second questions, same rules, but represent 99".

    Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree.

    "Der ya go sir," he says.

    The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

    Boudreaux answers, "Each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat 99."

    The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire Boudreaux so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100."

    Boudreaux stares into space again, then he shouts, "I got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir - 100."

    The boss looks at Boudreaux's attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time." He then tells Boudreaux, "Go on, Boudreaux, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100."

    Boudreaux leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start my job?"
     
  2. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    :laugh:

    The teacher Johnny to make a sentence with the word officiate.
    Johnny tho't for a minute then said, " An old man got sick from a fish he ate".
     
  3. Hobbit
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    Hobbit Senior Member

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    There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't. (yes, I'm a super-geek...the last line in an Excel spreadsheet is either 65535 because it's the largest 16-bit number or 65536 because it's a nice, round number in binary, depending on the version)
     

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