The Top 16 Signs You've Had Too Much to Drink 16> The pants you just wet are not your own. 15> Her lips may be saying, "Baaaaa," but her eyes are screaming, "YES!" 14> "I love the TopFive Lissst. NO, NO, I LOVE THE TOPFIVE LIST! I DO, I REALLLY REAALLLY DO." 13> Well, five boilermakers ago you would have qualified as an English soccer fan. 12> You just woke up next to a teddy bear you don't recognize, with its paws in an inappropriate location. 11> You wake up and realize you slept with a dog. A REAL dog. 10> The ATF suggests that you take up smoking instead. 9> You have vomit on your jacket. It's not yours, but there it is, nevertheless. 8> Your bed spins at 33 rpm. 7> Your liver is trying to dial 9-1-1. 6> You wake up naked in a strange car, clutching a keg tap and sporting fresh ink on your nether regions. Not that I'd know. 5> John Kerry's starting to sound like he's taking a position on something. 4> In a sudden moment of clarity, Bush's foreign policy strikes you as shrewd and effective. 3> You see pink elephants... and get them to give you a ride home. 2> You squish when you blink. and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign You've Had Too Much to Drink... 1> You are seriously considering voting for Ralph Nader. [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]