puns

Discussion in 'Humor' started by dilloduck, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    CREATIVE PUNS FOR "EDUCATED MINDS"


    1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
    He
    acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
    out to
    be an optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it
    was a
    weapon of math disruption.

    5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in
    his
    work.

    6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
    littering.

    8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
    Blownapart.

    9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    10. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
    looking
    into it

    11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    12. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
    When
    his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change
    yet.'

    13. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    14. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium
    at
    large.

    15. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
    veteran.

    16. A backward poet writes inverse.

    17. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
    count
    that votes.

    18. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
     
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  2. del
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    del BANNED

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    she was bred in old kentucky, but she's just a crumb up north.
    [​IMG]
     
  3. strollingbones
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    strollingbones Diamond Member

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    so very very bad...just so very very bad
     
  4. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    And then there is the sad tale of the midget nudist who was exiled from the nudist colony because he couldn't keep his nose out of other people's business.
     
  5. Anguille
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    Anguille Bane of the Urbane

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    All of you, shame on you!! They should lock you up and throw away the glee!!!
     
  6. Article 15
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    Article 15 Dr. House slayer

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    Did you guys here about the guy that lost his left side? No, no, no don't worry he's alright now.
     
  7. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Was that the same midget whose balls were so big that everyone thought he was half nuts?
     

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