Portland Police: 'We Wish There Were Some Kind Of Organized, Armed Force That Could Fight Back Again

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by Weatherman2020, Sep 30, 2019.

  1. Weatherman2020
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    Weatherman2020 Diamond Member

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    Parody? You be the judge.

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    PORTLAND, OR—In a press release earlier this week, Portland police chief Danielle Outlaw (her actual name), appearing somber and exhausted, said she just wishes there were some kind of group with the firepower and authority to fight back against Antifa.

    In a candid moment, Outlaw (seriously, her actual name) said there was just nothing the police could do, as they'd need to have some kind of organized, armed force specifically created to protect and serve the people.

    "Like, what if we took money from everyone to fund a force that could then defend them in a time of need?" she pondered aloud. "They could have patrol cars, firearms, and attack dogs. Maybe even some tanks. That would be so frickin' rad. They could have a badge to show their authority. Then, when a rogue group like Antifa shows up to take over our city every weekend, they could be repelled using force if necessary."

    "I know it sounds crazy, but a girl can dream, right?" she added wistfully.

    Sadly, there is no such force in Portland, so citizens have been forced to turn to an even crazier idea: taking responsibility for their own safety and well-being, and maybe even buying a gun to protect themselves.

    Portland Police: 'We Wish There Were Some Kind Of Organized, Armed Force That Could Fight Back Against Antifa'
     
    • Funny and Agree!! Funny and Agree!! x 1
  2. captkaos
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    captkaos Gold Member

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    WTF is The Portland Police Dept. for public relations work. What a dumbass ! They have done so little for so long with so much they can now do nothing with everything. She should be fired, or maybe she could get off her ass and go restore order to her community, instead of making lame excuses for her Non feasance.
     
  3. Zorro!
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    Zorro! Gold Member

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    The Babylon Bee is on Fire!

    But, what amazing capable adults we have in the mist of all the confusion and lawlessness.

    [​IMG]
    Portland High School Coach Keanon Lowe Subdues Student Gunman, Disarms Him, Then Hugs Him Until Police Arrive

    In May student Angel Granados-Diaz entered Parkrose High School in Portland, Oregon with an illegal firearm.

    Granados-Diaz was going to take his life and likely the lives of several students with him.
    Coach Keanon Lowe said tackled Angel Granados-Diaz.

    Security cameras caught Angel Granados-Diaz walking the halls at Parkrose, students were fleeing the building in terror.

    Video at the link

    Dan Tilkin on Twitter
     

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