Our Never-Ending "Soccer" Embarrassment

DGS49

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Apr 12, 2012
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Who did we lose to last week? Costa Fucking Rica, for God's sake? You gotta be shittin' me.

With gazillions of American kids now playing football (the game we perversely call, "Soccer") and with even more promising to play "soccer" in the future - what with the concussion paranoia - when will we ever be able to field a competent "soccer" team internationally?

Unfortunately, never.

Our approach to this sport (and to all sports) puts us at an insurmountable disadvantage against international competition. The same is true in tennis, and would be true in basketball, but for our large population of genetically advantaged, so-called "African-Americans." The unfortunate fact is that a gifted European basketball player has a better chance of making it in the NBA than a gifted "white" kid from Boston.

The reason: Basically it is interscholastic sports. The prominence and dominance of interscholastic sports in this country, from K through Kollege, dictates that all meaningful competition in most sports is basically, BY AGE GROUP. This is a stupid way to educate children, and a disastrous way to develop top athletic talent.

In more "advanced" countries, they DO NOT HAVE INTERSCHOLASTIC SPORTS(!). There is no High School basketball team, football team, or any other team. Their schools are inexplicably focused on educating children and young adults, and do not provide the untold advantages of these athletic extracurricular activities.

In Europe and elsewhere, sports are organized at the "club" and community level, independent of the schools, and independent of the perverse paradigm that limits competition to kids of approximately the same age. If you are an outstanding player, in any sport, you are competing against other players AT THE SAME SKILL LEVEL, regardless of age. Dirk Nowitski was playing basketball against adults when he was a teenager, as Rafa Nadal was doing in tennis, and all the European football players were doing in football. Thus the most outstanding athletes are progressing as rapidly as possible, and are not constrained by forced competition with their mediocre contemporaries.

We have a hint of this in the U.S., with AAU basketball, club tennis, "traveling" "soccer," and Nick Bolletieri's tennis academy, but these are a mere shadow of the opportunities that exist for outstanding athletes outside the U.S. And they are generally only available to kids from families with significant resources, thus limiting the "pool."

To be clear, I am not a fan of "soccer." I think it is perverse and boring. But it is embarrassing to see our national football team exchanging High Fives when we happen to beat a national team from Pago Pago, or some other fucking outpost of a hell-hole. I also wouldn't mind having another World Number One in Men's tennis, the lack of which is another embarrassment. (Parenthetically, the reason why Serena Williams developed so significantly better than anyone else was that her father completely rejected the dictates of the American tennis community, and brought his daughters along ACCORDING TO their CAPABILITIES as they progressed, and not according to their age).

I have seen the enemy, and it is us.
 
Wow, what a strange OP.

Ok, first, the US will probably not do well in international soccer competition until Americans in general give a crap about soccer.

You say the same is true in tennis, but we have US champions in tennis....so I'm not sure what you're thinking. The Williams sisters are Americans. Before Nadal was winning titles, Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi were two Americans winning a large portion of the singles titles.

Take a look at hockey. The US is competitive internationally. It's hard to beat Canada and Russia, where the sport is more a part of the culture than it is here, but we are able to field some strong competition and get a few wins.

Taking US soccer losses as somehow indicative of our prowess in all sport is just ridiculous.
 
Wow, what a strange OP.

Ok, first, the US will probably not do well in international soccer competition until Americans in general give a crap about soccer.

You say the same is true in tennis, but we have US champions in tennis....so I'm not sure what you're thinking. The Williams sisters are Americans. Before Nadal was winning titles, Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi were two Americans winning a large portion of the singles titles.

Take a look at hockey. The US is competitive internationally. It's hard to beat Canada and Russia, where the sport is more a part of the culture than it is here, but we are able to field some strong competition and get a few wins.

Taking US soccer losses as somehow indicative of our prowess in all sport is just ridiculous.

Americans don't care about soccer.....we just don't

Even our professional soccer leagues are stocked with foreigners and watched mostly by hispanics

I saw it in the 70's when Pele came to play for the Cosmos. Wild predictions about how soccer was the most popular sport in the world, how more kids played soccer than football about how soccer was the sport of the future

America went to watch Pele and Beckenbaur and realized that soccer was just as boring as they thought it was
 
But millions of Americans DO care about soccer. Those with two-digit IQ's are crazy about American "football," but there are enclaves of soccer-mania in DC, Detroit, all over California, and elsewhere. If you add all these communities together, you would have a fairly populous "country" where soccer is at least as popular as, say, basketball.

I have nephews and neices who were playing soccer as soon as they came out of their mother's womb. They were competing as 4-year olds, going to camps. playing 11 months a year, in both school and traveling leagues. With thousands of other kids doing the same thing. Think they didn't care about soccer?

And Hockey is a different proposition altogether for unrelated reasons. First of all, it requires a lot of money, which excludes a large portion of the population. Second of all, it dramatically favors kids from colder climates, who are on skates at approximately the same time as they start to walk. Kids from Atlanta who want to pursue hockey start playing when they are 12. Kids from Edmonton are playing hockey at 5. Which ones will end up in the NHL?
 
But millions of Americans DO care about soccer. Those with two-digit IQ's are crazy about American "football," but there are enclaves of soccer-mania in DC, Detroit, all over California, and elsewhere. If you add all these communities together, you would have a fairly populous "country" where soccer is at least as popular as, say, basketball.

I have nephews and neices who were playing soccer as soon as they came out of their mother's womb. They were competing as 4-year olds, going to camps. playing 11 months a year, in both school and traveling leagues. With thousands of other kids doing the same thing. Think they didn't care about soccer?

And Hockey is a different proposition altogether for unrelated reasons. First of all, it requires a lot of money, which excludes a large portion of the population. Second of all, it dramatically favors kids from colder climates, who are on skates at approximately the same time as they start to walk. Kids from Atlanta who want to pursue hockey start playing when they are 12. Kids from Edmonton are playing hockey at 5. Which ones will end up in the NHL?

Soccer will remain the 5th or 6th most popular sport in this country. What do I care if Liverpool beats Tottenham? Probably 1 - 0 b/c no one ever scores?

Our best athletes don't play soccer. Until that happens no one's going to care.

Who's a better athlete - Lionel Messi or Lebron James?
 
But millions of Americans DO care about soccer. Those with two-digit IQ's are crazy about American "football," but there are enclaves of soccer-mania in DC, Detroit, all over California, and elsewhere. If you add all these communities together, you would have a fairly populous "country" where soccer is at least as popular as, say, basketball.

I have nephews and neices who were playing soccer as soon as they came out of their mother's womb. They were competing as 4-year olds, going to camps. playing 11 months a year, in both school and traveling leagues. With thousands of other kids doing the same thing. Think they didn't care about soccer?

And Hockey is a different proposition altogether for unrelated reasons. First of all, it requires a lot of money, which excludes a large portion of the population. Second of all, it dramatically favors kids from colder climates, who are on skates at approximately the same time as they start to walk. Kids from Atlanta who want to pursue hockey start playing when they are 12. Kids from Edmonton are playing hockey at 5. Which ones will end up in the NHL?

American kids play soccer more than football. When they grow up....they watch football

Soccer is just not our culture. Football is king right now. It is bigger than ever before
Soccer is a niche sport that foreigners and our nieces and nephews play.

Americans find soccer boring.....so do I
 
The excitement of soccer

[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYUa7DpPses"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYUa7DpPses[/ame]
 
I can't disagree with soccer being boring.

90 minutes of running up and down the field with the announcer going crazy just because the opposing team got close or missed a chance at scoring.

About as thrilling as watching a quilting bee.
 
But millions of Americans DO care about soccer. Those with two-digit IQ's are crazy about American "football," but there are enclaves of soccer-mania in DC, Detroit, all over California, and elsewhere. If you add all these communities together, you would have a fairly populous "country" where soccer is at least as popular as, say, basketball.

I have nephews and neices who were playing soccer as soon as they came out of their mother's womb. They were competing as 4-year olds, going to camps. playing 11 months a year, in both school and traveling leagues. With thousands of other kids doing the same thing. Think they didn't care about soccer?

And Hockey is a different proposition altogether for unrelated reasons. First of all, it requires a lot of money, which excludes a large portion of the population. Second of all, it dramatically favors kids from colder climates, who are on skates at approximately the same time as they start to walk. Kids from Atlanta who want to pursue hockey start playing when they are 12. Kids from Edmonton are playing hockey at 5. Which ones will end up in the NHL?

Because soccer is clearly an 'intelligent' sport? :eusa_hand:

It's all about preference, the culture you grow up in, availability, etc. Intelligence doesn't determine which sports a person will enjoy watching, and that is the driving force behind how well we are likely to do in a sport against other nations. More people watching = more money, more exposure, more people wanting to play.

You talk about the millions who care about soccer in the US....but clearly they don't care enough that it becomes one of our major sports, despite the fact that most of the rest of the world has soccer as their top sport.

Americans are not soccer fans in general. However, as others have pointed out, apparently we can and do compete on the international level, at least somewhat.
 
But millions of Americans DO care about soccer. Those with two-digit IQ's are crazy about American "football," but there are enclaves of soccer-mania in DC, Detroit, all over California, and elsewhere. If you add all these communities together, you would have a fairly populous "country" where soccer is at least as popular as, say, basketball.

I have nephews and neices who were playing soccer as soon as they came out of their mother's womb. They were competing as 4-year olds, going to camps. playing 11 months a year, in both school and traveling leagues. With thousands of other kids doing the same thing. Think they didn't care about soccer?

And Hockey is a different proposition altogether for unrelated reasons. First of all, it requires a lot of money, which excludes a large portion of the population. Second of all, it dramatically favors kids from colder climates, who are on skates at approximately the same time as they start to walk. Kids from Atlanta who want to pursue hockey start playing when they are 12. Kids from Edmonton are playing hockey at 5. Which ones will end up in the NHL?

Because soccer is clearly an 'intelligent' sport? :eusa_hand:

It's all about preference, the culture you grow up in, availability, etc. Intelligence doesn't determine which sports a person will enjoy watching, and that is the driving force behind how well we are likely to do in a sport against other nations. More people watching = more money, more exposure, more people wanting to play.

You talk about the millions who care about soccer in the US....but clearly they don't care enough that it becomes one of our major sports, despite the fact that most of the rest of the world has soccer as their top sport.

Americans are not soccer fans in general. However, as others have pointed out, apparently we can and do compete on the international level, at least somewhat.

Many of our college soccer players are foreign born. So are many of our soccer fans. If you love the game.....great
Just don't expect it to take on major sports status in the US
 
Who did we lose to last week? Costa Fucking Rica, for God's sake? You gotta be shittin' me...



[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLk4Ia0otko]Family Guy - OMG WHO THE HELL CARES! - YouTube[/ame]
 
The key to soccer is you get to sit for 90 minutes to watch one goal get scored

No wonder the world loves it so much
 
The key to soccer is you get to sit for 90 minutes to watch one goal get scored

No wonder the world loves it so much

Have you ever played the FIFA video games? They're awesome. Probably the best of all the sports games!

But soccer in real life? I don't get it.

I'll watch the world cup, but it'll probably just be on in the background.
 
Did any of you watch the women's world cup? It's way better! America is the favorite because, come on, we treat our women the best. But I also think that their brand of soccer is more fun to watch. There aren't as many teams and it's WAY harder for them to make a living off of it. That's something I can fully support!
 

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