Optimism Returns, Allah Akbar!

Discussion in 'Middle East - General' started by onedomino, Feb 28, 2008.

  1. onedomino
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    onedomino SCE to AUX

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    Psychologically we were on the ropes. We had used up most of Iraq’s mentally disabled as human bombs, fewer Saudi kids were willing to blow themselves up, and that crusading infidel Petraeus was trying to kill us every day. Even worse, afternoon prayers were often interrupted by marauding remote drones. Deeply depressed, sensing that we were going to be forced to live in the 21st Century, we turned the satellite receiver to MSNBC, hoping for a rerun of Al Qaeda’s greatest hits, when Chris Matthews declared that a US Presidential candidate had “sent a thrill up [his] leg.” At first we thought he was referring to the porn that Americans watch all day on the internet, but no, he was talking about Barack Obama: [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uhnynk6XkkU[/ame]. Knowing that Matthews is a long time advocate of American surrender in Iraq, we were intrigued. So we watched Obama. Holy Semtex! We got thrills up our legs too! Obama said that if elected he would talk to America’s enemies and withdraw US troops from Iraq within a year. And what is more, Obama will probably get the Democrat nomination. With every homicide bomb, with every splattered child, and every shredded adult, we have been politely asking that recalcitrant son of Satan, Patraeus, for the schedule of American surrender in Iraq. And frankly, his policy of shooting to kill Islamofacists on sight was making the schedule a bit difficult to read. But Obama has a schedule we can live with, if Patraeus does not kill us first.

    Yours very truly,

    Eddie Caliphate
    Semtex Emir
    Mosul, Iraq
     
  2. Larkinn
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    Larkinn Senior Member

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    Awww. How cute it is when Republicans fear-monger. If Obama is elected president an asteroid will probably hit the earth too...after all thats what happens in the moving pictures which occupy so much of your meaningless life.
     
  3. RetiredGySgt
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    RetiredGySgt Platinum Member

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    Obama cutting and running AFTER we have won is simply par for the course for your type.
     
  4. Dr Grump
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    Dr Grump Gold Member

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    You have won nothing...
     
  5. jillian
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    jillian Princess Supporting Member

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    which is why they refuse to define "victory" and, if they do, the definition is nebulous and ever-changing.
     
  6. Larkinn
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    Larkinn Senior Member

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    We won in Iraq? Really? Is this honestly your claim?
     
  7. RetiredGySgt
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    RetiredGySgt Platinum Member

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    Have we lost? We can only do that by leaving. As for winning, is Iraq becoming more Stable? Are Iraqi troops and police assuming more responsibility for their own defense and law? ARe attacks way down and has the Government of Iraq been freely elected?

    Sure lets throw that all away cause we have a coward for a new President.
     
  8. Larkinn
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    Larkinn Senior Member

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    Actually you implied we had already won. But good job backtracking from that position.

    Yes things have gotten better than the shitstorm they were a few years ago. That is not winning.

    Obama isn't going to die because we are in Iraq. Him leaving isn't cowardice, its called compassion for US troops and US citizens.
     
  9. onedomino
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    onedomino SCE to AUX

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    Achmed, come here take a look at this. They call descriptions of our war in Iraq “fear mongering.” At first I did not understand that Americans hate each other more than us. But now we know that the 12 million heretics who voted for democracy will drown in a sea of the faithful. Achmed, strap on that suicide belt and listen to me. The Americans infinitely prefer to attack each other, rather than their enemies. Exactly as the world hopes, they grow weaker. They will elect a person who promises to run away. The power of their weapons makes no difference. They sow the seeds of their own defeat. They throw salt in their own wounds. We will prevail, it is inevitable. Now go down to the market, and do not come back.
     
  10. Larkinn
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    Larkinn Senior Member

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    If this is how your party is going to argue to keep fighting in Iraq, then November '08 will be a pretty fun month for me.
     

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