my Star Wars review...

Discussion in 'Reviews' started by Dan, May 31, 2005.

  1. Dan
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    Dan Senior Member

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    So, my roommate talked me into going to see it, and... Well, some of it was awesome, but the majority of it was bad, bad, BAD!!!!!

    Here's the stuff I liked a lot:

    -The special effects were by far the best I've seen from the 3 prequels. For the first time in a while (well, since Spiderman 2, anyway), I watched a movie in amazement at the special effects. However, that brings up another discussion in the 'cons' section.

    -The action was in full-force and much more dynamic than in Ep. II. The final sword battle was great, as was the opening 20 minutes or so.

    And, now the cons....

    -About the special effects, I realized watching this movie that I'm the last of a dying breed, the moviegoer who doesn't like CGI. When I watch a movie like this, no matter how great-looking it is, I realize that I'm just looking at computer-generated effects, so they're not interesting. On the other hand, in the original trilogy, there was this sense of wonder I had, that "how'd they do that" feeling. Maybe kids these days feel that way about CGI, it's a shame they'll never have that feeling that I had watching something like Ghostbusters or the original trilogy for the first time.

    -Literally every single time a character opened his or her or its mouth, I completely zoned out. The dialogue was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo horrible, coupled with pretty much half-assed acting from everyone (with the exception of Ewan McGregor who was the only one who seemed to inhabit the world the movie took place in), I couldn't stay in the story at all.

    -All through the original trilogy, I felt that Vader was just 100% pure evil, a classic movie villain, completely draped in black, totally evil. Now, after seeing this, I think of Vader as a dumbass who was smooth-talked by some old guy into being his pawn. Disappointing.

    -Lucas had a weird habit of filling open screen space with stupid little aliens or robots or something. At first, it was cool, but when he was doing it during the final saber fight, it just got annoying and distracting.

    -Too much R2-D2. I'll admit that this might just be me not being as into his comic relief as I was when I was a kid, but I felt he was in it way too much, considering Lucas said this wasn't supposed to be a kids' movie.

    -Vader's "noooooooooooo" was even more ridiculous than I was expecting. Four groups of people (me and my roommate included) laughed out loud. Almost as classic as: "You can't die." "Yes, I can."

    -Not a gripe with the movie, but with all the Burger King tie-ins, all I could think about when Vader was revealed was that stupid, creepy king.

    -General Grievous sounded a lot like Dark Helmet from Spaceballs. And, why was he coughing the whole time? What purpose did that serve other than being distracting?

    Look, I wanted to like it, I really did. For the first 20, 25 minutes, I was totally with it. Then, I just sort of stopped caring. Never once did I think that I was watching anything other than actors saying lines in front of a fake background. This movie left me with something I never expected: boredom. Through much of the film, I was either looking at other people in the theater, or playing with the flip-up chair next to mine. I will say that it was by far better than Attack of the Clones, but if you know my hatred for that film, you know that that's not saying much. Oh, well, at least I'll always have Empire.
     
  2. Dan
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    Dan Senior Member

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    Oh, and, this isn't a major problem or anything, but I wish they would've given Natalie Portman more to do other than cry and hug Anakin. She's got the chops (she proved it, for me, in GARDEN STATE and CLOSER), give her a meatier role.
     
  3. Dan
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    Dan Senior Member

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    One more (sorry guys, they keep coming to me)....

    Anakin being able to take care of 5 Jedi Masters in the course of, what, 30 seconds. I understand it was a minor plot point, but he just breezed right through them.

    Also, Anakin's whole turn to the dark side seemed to come about very quickly.
     
  4. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    I suspect you feel about III how I feel about I & II as well... :(

    I'll probably see III when it's out on DVD.
     
  5. 007
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    007 Charter Member Supporting Member

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    Yup, that's when I plan on seeing it. It's $8.75 at the theater, and another five or ten for treats. For that price I can own it.
     
  6. 007
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    007 Charter Member Supporting Member

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    Went to the first showing of the day yesterday and it was only $5.75. Finaly saw the movie and... "I liked it".
     
  7. no1tovote4
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    no1tovote4 VIP Member

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    I haven't read this thread up to this point as I hadn't seen the movie. I have now seen the movie and did really like it.

    However....






    Spoiler here, get out of the thread if you don't want to see it!






















    Did anybody else think that last scene with Darth Vader to be reminiscent of the poor acting in the scene with Luke finding out that Vader was his father?

    "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's not true!"
     
  8. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    Yeah... but Luke's was somewhat believeable. Darth's was not. That's got to be the crappiest line in the entire series.
     
  9. Dan
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    Dan Senior Member

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    I don't know, man, there was another gem in Ep. III...

    "You look beautiful right now."
    "That's because I'm in love with you."
    "No, it's because I'M in love with YOU."

    :rolleyes:
     
  10. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    I've had similar conversations with my wife. That one is at least understandable.

    My two candidates for bad lines/delivery:

    ------------
    Ep II, where Padme and Anakin are by the fireplace:

    ANAKIN: From the moment I met you, all those years ago, a
    day hasn't gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now
    that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to
    you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you
    makes my stomach turn over - my mouth goes dry. I feel
    dizzy. I can't breathe. I'm haunted by the kiss you should
    never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss
    will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting
    me. What can I do? I will do anything you ask...

    Silence. The logs flame in the hearth. PADMÉ meets his eye,
    then looks away.

    ANAKIN: If you are suffering as much as I am, tell me.

    PADMÉ: ...I can't. We can't. It's just not possible.

    ANAKIN: Anything's possible. Padmé, please listen...

    PADMÉ: You listen. We live in a real world. Come back to
    it. You're studying to become a Jedi Knight. I'm a Senator.
    If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, they
    will take us to a place we cannot go... regardless of the
    way we feel about each other.

    ANAKIN: Then you do feel something!

    PADMÉ: Jedi aren't allowed to marry. You'd be expelled from
    the Order. I will not let you give up your future for me.

    ANAKIN: You're asking me to be rational. That is something
    I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish I could wish my
    feelings away... but I can't.

    PADMÉ: I am not going to give in to this.
    -----------

    Ep. VI: When Luke surrenders himself to Vader: "Search your feelings, father. You can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate!" Worst delivery ever.
     

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