My Beloved

Discussion in 'Writing' started by DavidS, Dec 27, 2008.

  1. DavidS
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    DavidS Anti-Tea Party Member

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    In Jewish weddings, it is very common to quote a passage from the Song of Songs, "I am my beloved and my beloved is me." 3 years before I wrote this, I became aware of the significance of the term "My Beloved."

    I post this here because she has been in my thoughts as of late and because of Bones' avatar about her inner child, which is a completely different set of poems.


    My beloved
    Written by D. Samuel

    12/30/00 1:18 a.m.
    Revised 03/07/01 10:00 p.m.

    Dedicated to my one, true love...

    ...you enchant me...

    My mind, my soul is nothing without the sweet songs you sing.
    My soul is void without you.
    My heart is numb without the marvelous scent of your perfume.
    My eyes are blind without the sight of the beauty you bring.

    You have been beside me since I can remember,
    Always there, ready to catch me if I fell.
    In a time of chaos, you were my serenity
    I surrender myself to you.

    My ears are deaf to all others who speak.
    I hear only you.
    May your touch bring the cure to me I have desired for so long.
    I know only you.
    May your voice cause the wildest of seas, to become the tamest of
    oceans,
    I love only you.
    May you become my eternal.

    I have nightmares of terrors to come true,
    Infinite evil wishes to chase me into eternal darkness,
    Yet you stand there at the end of the tunnel in the light,
    Waiting for me.
    Wanting me.
    Holding me.

    I live in fear,
    You are my cause for courage.
    I live in the night,
    You are my day.
    I live in evil.
    You are my conscience.
    I live in solitude.
    You are the visitor in my world.
    I trust no one.
    No one, but you.
    In death, you are my life
    I surrender myself to you.

    ...you inspire me...

    I am the artist,
    You are my canvas.
    I am the paint,
    And you are the color.
    I am the pen,
    But you are the poetry.

    You are my eternal.
    I am mad with the love you bring to me each day,
    I am possessed by the allure you present me with.
    You are my siren,
    And I am the sailor upon the arctic shores.
    When I have nothing to ponder,
    You sit here and my mind is filled with amazement.

    You are my music,
    And I am the musician.
    Your are the intent,
    And I am the song,
    I am drunk with your existence,
    And you are my eternal.

    And you are the idol,
    And I am the religion.
    You are the prophet
    And I am the scripture,
    Your love is my blood.
    Without it, I will die.

    I love you more than the night loves to chase the day,
    I love you more than the light from the sun,
    My love for you is undying.
    It is the vampire,
    And you are its blood.
    I surrender myself to you.
    I love you with all that I am.
    Your love encompasses my existence.

    ...you mystify me...

    Standing there in a storm of chaos,
    Or upon a day of tranquility,
    You stand ready to encounter all that defies you.
    Fear cowers with the sight of your confidence.
    Despondency gives way to hope,
    And you stand here, mine.

    You run from me,
    I will chase you.
    Let the angels laugh at us,
    Let the devil scorn us,
    Let the gods condemn us.
    I know our love was never meant to be,
    Yet you exist loving me,
    As I love you.
    You simply exist to love me,
    As I exist to love you.
    And so I finally catch you and you turn to me,
    My spirit longs for the soft touch of your lips,
    You long for my embrace,
    And I for your love.

    We have fooled fate,
    We have cheated destiny,
    Thou who ordains my love,
    Shall learn of my free will.
    And with it, I choose thee my love to exist forever.
    And forever I exist enthralled by the enchantment of your beauty.
    Of your eyes,
    Of your skin,
    Of your hair,
    Of your existence.
    Of you.

    Either upon a day where the sun scorches down upon you,
    Or at night where the ice forms gently upon the branches,
    I will chase after you.
    Through storms of godly force,
    I will come to you,
    Begging of you for your love.
    I crave to obsess you,
    I crave to dream of my fantasies existing with you.
    And as I turn to hold you,
    And as I anticipate my desires to be fulfilled,
    I am left with a piercing pain to the center of my universe.

    ...you betray me...

    Blood pours from my heart,
    The blade of unfulfilled love stabs away at my hope.
    And despondency resonates throughout my reality,
    And within a second, it all ends.

    And so I sit here and I remember the sound of your voice,
    And I remember the day you made the choice.
    The decision to be without me in your eternal life,
    The love that was created inside of my heart became prevalent,
    Until your denial became its assailant.

    And now I look upon your soul,
    And I remember how you left me to die out in the cold.
    And still I forgive you
    And now the obsession begins all over again.

    I cannot help it anymore,
    For reasons that elude me,
    My love for you knows no bounds,
    It has no morals,
    No ethics,
    It feeds upon the desire to feel your love.
    My love becomes ravenous,
    And the seas of discord churn against the shores of contentment.

    And you fight against my love,
    As if it anguished you.
    What pain my love must bring to you,
    And I will stop loving you for but a moment,
    For if it brings peace to your heart,
    Then the absence of my love is the cure for your ailment.
    And the plague to my cure.
    I can cease my love to you,
    But my love for you is undying.
    And I love you.
    And I will always.

    And you are my eternal.
    I surrender myself to you.
    You are my beloved,
    And my love for you is absolute.
     
  2. chloe
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    chloe Guest

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    I like it
     
  3. DavidS
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    DavidS Anti-Tea Party Member

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    Thank you. I would love to one day show it to the woman I wrote it for. I fear that will never happen.
     
  4. chloe
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    chloe Guest

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    Oh thats sad David S maybe you should mail it to her.
     
  5. DavidS
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    DavidS Anti-Tea Party Member

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    Yeah, not a good idea to mail a poem I wrote 8 years ago to someone I haven't spoken to in 6 years.
     
  6. chloe
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    you need closure so look her up and call her.
     
  7. DavidS
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    DavidS Anti-Tea Party Member

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    I need closure? Hooo boy you should read the Merry-go-round, or the Forsaken. Ah, the Forsaken, where my inner child commits suicide. Not having closure tortures my soul and allows me to write like this. Only problem is that I haven't written like this in a few years. Completely unrelated to her. My inkwell dried up...I examined, I think, every possible aspect of this.

    Honestly, I'm used to this pain by now. The wound has closed, though not healed. Re-opening it up would be too painfull... if I grew bored with my life, I might just do it. But she's probably married with children by now. In all seriousness, she's probably doing very well in her life and doesn't need my obsessive poetry in her life.
     

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