Monica Jokes

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Nevadamedic, Jul 22, 2007.

  1. Nevadamedic
    Offline

    Nevadamedic Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,439
    Thanks Received:
    178
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Diagon Alley
    Ratings:
    +178
    A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her.

    She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, "I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?"

    He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish, but is from a wealthy Beverly Hills family. She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, "What is her name?"

    He answers, "Monica Lewinsky."

    There is a long pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that nice Catholic boy you were dating last year?"
     
  2. Nevadamedic
    Offline

    Nevadamedic Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,439
    Thanks Received:
    178
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Diagon Alley
    Ratings:
    +178
    Did you know that Monica Lewinsky is moving to North Carolina?

    She doesn't know exactly where she'll live, but it's a toss-up between Blowing Rock and Morehead City.
     
  3. Nevadamedic
    Offline

    Nevadamedic Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,439
    Thanks Received:
    178
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Diagon Alley
    Ratings:
    +178
    What do Monica Lewinsky and a Coke Machine have in common?

    They both have a sign that says, "Insert Bill Here, Faceup."
     
  4. Nevadamedic
    Offline

    Nevadamedic Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,439
    Thanks Received:
    178
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Diagon Alley
    Ratings:
    +178
    Seems Bill Clinton wasted all that time running for Persident. He thought they said the "Oral" office.
     
  5. Nevadamedic
    Offline

    Nevadamedic Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,439
    Thanks Received:
    178
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Diagon Alley
    Ratings:
    +178
    Why did Bill get into this problem?

    He didn't know that her-ass (Harass) was one word.
     
  6. Nevadamedic
    Offline

    Nevadamedic Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,439
    Thanks Received:
    178
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Diagon Alley
    Ratings:
    +178
    What does Monica have on her Resume?

    "Sat on the Presidential Staff."
     
  7. Nevadamedic
    Offline

    Nevadamedic Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    1,439
    Thanks Received:
    178
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Diagon Alley
    Ratings:
    +178
    Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry-cleaning store and tells the cleaner's clerk, "I've got another dress for you to clean."

    Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

    "No," says Monica. "It's Mustard..."
     

Share This Page