- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
- 85
This is a capitalism-ode inspired by Scorsese's Casino.
Signing off,
====
Americans were fascinated by sleek-looking futuristic toys such as crystal-clear water-guns. These consumerism 'trophies' represented modern pride in capitalism and therefore required the work of some minor evangelism (to avoid the tempting pitfalls of cholesterol-consumerism!). Was this toy consciousness a new 'capitalism denomination' in civilization? A young Yale student named Alas believed it was, and his mentors approved his thesis about the CIA developing toy-like weapons.
Alas won great recognition for this thesis, and he was then recruited by the CIA as a social analyst after graduating from Yale. Alas's mission was partly to determine if a consumerism-gauged capitalism denomination would draw the 'ire' of anti-Western terrorist groups such as ISIS. Alas evaluated by consumerism 'trophies' symbolized modern intelligence/IQ and he worried about the legacy of 9/11 (the day the World Trade Center was destroyed by terrorism). Alas was very ambitious and felt very very American...
Alas put his speech-recordings of some of the more philosophical aspects of his investigations onto vintage green-colored compact cassettes (which he purchased along with a classic JVC tape-player/radio set on eBay). These tapes were referred to as the Messiah Tapes, since they contained editorials about the archaeological inventory of civilization itself --- after all, capitalism made civilization much more engineered(!).
Alas looked at clippings of authentic 1980s consumerism brand ads on TV and in magazines for iconic American companies such as Green Giant vegetable and canned goods company and Apple Computer and the Apple iMac. The iMac was a transparent home-computer (you could see inside its working gears and dials!) which symbolized a consumerism investment in shared imagination and public 'playspaces.' Suddenly, consumerism had made technology resemble toys! Alas was investigating the evolutionary aesthetics of this purely-capitalist development. He worried about what commerce-sites terrorists would strike, however.
Alas discovered that the CIA was conducting recruiting experiments in which society/media figures/icons such as Charlize Theron, Tom Cruise, and Leo DiCaprio were trained to deliver pro-consumerism statements in the press. These 'media diplomats' would help the CIA boost consumerism culture in general and also facilitate the CIA's public monitoring of world-attentive social discourse. After all, it was easy to see what ISIS would watch on American TV.
Alas decided to advise the CIA to create a special meeting with the Middle East so that terrorist groups there could be assured by their respective 'father-figure' governments that Western capitalism was imaginative and not a thing of piracy and sin. Alas brought with him to the monumental meeting in Iran a case full of vintage 1990s transparent glow-in-the-dark Swatch wrist-watches which symbolized modern consumerism ingenuity and a 'hands-friendly' aesthetic in Western product design. Swatch was a very popular Swiss company (European) in the 1990s.
Alas discovered that Iranian diplomats at the meeting decided to bring with them as their reciprocal greeting/handshake a model of the Transformers (Hasbro) A.I. warrior-robot model-toy called Blurr --- a high-speed talking soldier who transformed into a very fast and aerodynamic vehicle. Alas presented his Swatch-watches and accepted the Blurr toy that the Iranian diplomats brought with them. It was a fair exchange, and the two sides agreed that shared passions about consumerism-creativity in toy/product design and aesthetics would facilitate commerce being more peaceful (i.e., OPEC, Wall Street).
Alas returned to America now a legendary officer of the U.S. government. He began dating actress/celebrity Daisy Ridley (of Lucas's Star Wars fame!). Alas and Daisy were an amazing item, and the CIA knew that Alas could be a great modern global public 'face' for all kinds of negotiations with the Middle East and Israel as well about capitalism values. However, the CIA wondered if terrorists would betray this new pro-consumerism 'aesthetics pact' and seek to assassinate Alas, and sure enough, Ridley received a death-threat letter on Christmas Eve from ISIS. Alas complained to the CIA immediately...
Alas was taken to a top-secret U.S. government science building with Daisy Ridley and shown a new containment unit holding a large alien-species known as a 'Xenomorph.' The creature was black and resembled a cross between a giant ant and a dragon! It possessed claws and a tail and great and terrible strength. The government officials placed Daisy inside the containment unit with the Xenomorph to see if it would engage with her, and it did (it was in restraints from the side of its body after all, so it was completely safe!). They noted that the Xenomorph was curious about why Daisy resembled it in morphology (bipedalism, body symmetry, figurine-shape) and wanted to know about capitalism on Earth. The CIA told Alas that the Xenomorph was kept secret and would be a future 'diplomat' for globalization negotiations (for a harmonious future on Earth). Alas wondered if capitalism would endure this 'minor test.'
Alas given a wallet filled with special glowing dollar-bills. These bills would help Alas see in the dark and therefore assist him for a special assassination mission to the Middle East. Alas was to kill the new dictator-leader of a rogue terrorist group in Syria wishing to negotiate with Alas and the U.S. government regarding the new consumerism pact between America and Iran. Alas knew he and Daisy were officially 'servant-angels' of modern civilization. Would Alas's faith in capitalism be sufficient to avoid some kind of global humiliation?
As the Xenomorph grew, scientists realized it had the ability to change shape. It took the shape of a fictional folk-avatar named Pippi Longstocking (a fun-loving adventurous young girl). The CIA wanted to know why the Xenomorph wanted to look like Pippi, and the Xenomorph (aka, 'Pippi') explained that the chosen-avatar was a terrific symbol of Earth's commercial folklore. Anyway, the U.S. government was thrilled at the notion of the Xenomorph negotiating on behalf of America with the Middle East as Pippi Longstocking. The Trump Administration forecasted that capitalism would be changed forever!
Alas and Daisy were given special honorary positions a diplomats at Yale University. Alas gave lectures on the development of populism politics in the modern era of capitalism, while Daisy gave special guest-lectures about the global sociological impact of the Star Wars franchise on human networking imagination! Yale was considered a great 'host' for all this intriguing social development, but Alas still worried about something terrible --- What if the Xenomorph (aka, 'Pippi') decided to betray America and suddenly side with an anti-Western terrorist group in the Middle East? Would Yale suddenly be targeted?
GOD: I'm a 'fanboy' of Alas's "Messiah Tape."
SATAN: I think it's a nice trophy...
GOD: Will capitalism be considered wise?
SATAN: It will certainly be considered ambitious!
GOD: Will the Xenomorph/Pippi honor America?
SATAN: There's a chance it will 'chat' with terrorists...
GOD: An alien has a right to talk with all human diplomats.
SATAN: Terrorists are considered criminals by mainstream civilization.
GOD: Politics is simply hairy in the age of commerce.
SATAN: Will Wall Street and the World Bank be revered?
GOD: There's a good chance...
SATAN: Alas and Daisy should be wed.
GOD: They could be 'America's Sweethearts.'
SATAN: After 9/11, the world has been 'on edge' about traffic!
GOD: Fortunately, commerce heals many wounds...
SATAN: Will consumerism be considered 'creative' (by historians)?
GOD: The convenience/cholesterol might be 'mocked.'
SATAN: Yes, it's fun to make jokes about Burger King.
GOD: There's a Burger King in Afghanistan now...
SATAN: Let's watch Casino on Netflix!
====
Signing off,
====
Americans were fascinated by sleek-looking futuristic toys such as crystal-clear water-guns. These consumerism 'trophies' represented modern pride in capitalism and therefore required the work of some minor evangelism (to avoid the tempting pitfalls of cholesterol-consumerism!). Was this toy consciousness a new 'capitalism denomination' in civilization? A young Yale student named Alas believed it was, and his mentors approved his thesis about the CIA developing toy-like weapons.
Alas won great recognition for this thesis, and he was then recruited by the CIA as a social analyst after graduating from Yale. Alas's mission was partly to determine if a consumerism-gauged capitalism denomination would draw the 'ire' of anti-Western terrorist groups such as ISIS. Alas evaluated by consumerism 'trophies' symbolized modern intelligence/IQ and he worried about the legacy of 9/11 (the day the World Trade Center was destroyed by terrorism). Alas was very ambitious and felt very very American...
Alas put his speech-recordings of some of the more philosophical aspects of his investigations onto vintage green-colored compact cassettes (which he purchased along with a classic JVC tape-player/radio set on eBay). These tapes were referred to as the Messiah Tapes, since they contained editorials about the archaeological inventory of civilization itself --- after all, capitalism made civilization much more engineered(!).
Alas looked at clippings of authentic 1980s consumerism brand ads on TV and in magazines for iconic American companies such as Green Giant vegetable and canned goods company and Apple Computer and the Apple iMac. The iMac was a transparent home-computer (you could see inside its working gears and dials!) which symbolized a consumerism investment in shared imagination and public 'playspaces.' Suddenly, consumerism had made technology resemble toys! Alas was investigating the evolutionary aesthetics of this purely-capitalist development. He worried about what commerce-sites terrorists would strike, however.
Alas discovered that the CIA was conducting recruiting experiments in which society/media figures/icons such as Charlize Theron, Tom Cruise, and Leo DiCaprio were trained to deliver pro-consumerism statements in the press. These 'media diplomats' would help the CIA boost consumerism culture in general and also facilitate the CIA's public monitoring of world-attentive social discourse. After all, it was easy to see what ISIS would watch on American TV.
Alas decided to advise the CIA to create a special meeting with the Middle East so that terrorist groups there could be assured by their respective 'father-figure' governments that Western capitalism was imaginative and not a thing of piracy and sin. Alas brought with him to the monumental meeting in Iran a case full of vintage 1990s transparent glow-in-the-dark Swatch wrist-watches which symbolized modern consumerism ingenuity and a 'hands-friendly' aesthetic in Western product design. Swatch was a very popular Swiss company (European) in the 1990s.
Alas discovered that Iranian diplomats at the meeting decided to bring with them as their reciprocal greeting/handshake a model of the Transformers (Hasbro) A.I. warrior-robot model-toy called Blurr --- a high-speed talking soldier who transformed into a very fast and aerodynamic vehicle. Alas presented his Swatch-watches and accepted the Blurr toy that the Iranian diplomats brought with them. It was a fair exchange, and the two sides agreed that shared passions about consumerism-creativity in toy/product design and aesthetics would facilitate commerce being more peaceful (i.e., OPEC, Wall Street).
Alas returned to America now a legendary officer of the U.S. government. He began dating actress/celebrity Daisy Ridley (of Lucas's Star Wars fame!). Alas and Daisy were an amazing item, and the CIA knew that Alas could be a great modern global public 'face' for all kinds of negotiations with the Middle East and Israel as well about capitalism values. However, the CIA wondered if terrorists would betray this new pro-consumerism 'aesthetics pact' and seek to assassinate Alas, and sure enough, Ridley received a death-threat letter on Christmas Eve from ISIS. Alas complained to the CIA immediately...
Alas was taken to a top-secret U.S. government science building with Daisy Ridley and shown a new containment unit holding a large alien-species known as a 'Xenomorph.' The creature was black and resembled a cross between a giant ant and a dragon! It possessed claws and a tail and great and terrible strength. The government officials placed Daisy inside the containment unit with the Xenomorph to see if it would engage with her, and it did (it was in restraints from the side of its body after all, so it was completely safe!). They noted that the Xenomorph was curious about why Daisy resembled it in morphology (bipedalism, body symmetry, figurine-shape) and wanted to know about capitalism on Earth. The CIA told Alas that the Xenomorph was kept secret and would be a future 'diplomat' for globalization negotiations (for a harmonious future on Earth). Alas wondered if capitalism would endure this 'minor test.'
Alas given a wallet filled with special glowing dollar-bills. These bills would help Alas see in the dark and therefore assist him for a special assassination mission to the Middle East. Alas was to kill the new dictator-leader of a rogue terrorist group in Syria wishing to negotiate with Alas and the U.S. government regarding the new consumerism pact between America and Iran. Alas knew he and Daisy were officially 'servant-angels' of modern civilization. Would Alas's faith in capitalism be sufficient to avoid some kind of global humiliation?
As the Xenomorph grew, scientists realized it had the ability to change shape. It took the shape of a fictional folk-avatar named Pippi Longstocking (a fun-loving adventurous young girl). The CIA wanted to know why the Xenomorph wanted to look like Pippi, and the Xenomorph (aka, 'Pippi') explained that the chosen-avatar was a terrific symbol of Earth's commercial folklore. Anyway, the U.S. government was thrilled at the notion of the Xenomorph negotiating on behalf of America with the Middle East as Pippi Longstocking. The Trump Administration forecasted that capitalism would be changed forever!
Alas and Daisy were given special honorary positions a diplomats at Yale University. Alas gave lectures on the development of populism politics in the modern era of capitalism, while Daisy gave special guest-lectures about the global sociological impact of the Star Wars franchise on human networking imagination! Yale was considered a great 'host' for all this intriguing social development, but Alas still worried about something terrible --- What if the Xenomorph (aka, 'Pippi') decided to betray America and suddenly side with an anti-Western terrorist group in the Middle East? Would Yale suddenly be targeted?
GOD: I'm a 'fanboy' of Alas's "Messiah Tape."
SATAN: I think it's a nice trophy...
GOD: Will capitalism be considered wise?
SATAN: It will certainly be considered ambitious!
GOD: Will the Xenomorph/Pippi honor America?
SATAN: There's a chance it will 'chat' with terrorists...
GOD: An alien has a right to talk with all human diplomats.
SATAN: Terrorists are considered criminals by mainstream civilization.
GOD: Politics is simply hairy in the age of commerce.
SATAN: Will Wall Street and the World Bank be revered?
GOD: There's a good chance...
SATAN: Alas and Daisy should be wed.
GOD: They could be 'America's Sweethearts.'
SATAN: After 9/11, the world has been 'on edge' about traffic!
GOD: Fortunately, commerce heals many wounds...
SATAN: Will consumerism be considered 'creative' (by historians)?
GOD: The convenience/cholesterol might be 'mocked.'
SATAN: Yes, it's fun to make jokes about Burger King.
GOD: There's a Burger King in Afghanistan now...
SATAN: Let's watch Casino on Netflix!
====
